


Manners (Zoro Learns Some Manners)

by synvamp



Category: One Piece
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alcohol, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack, Fighting foreplay, Fluff, Gay Sex, Horny swordsman, Idiots in Love, I’m in ZoSan for the fighting and sexy times, Luffy is a terrible matchmaker, M/M, Mouthy cook, Mystery Love!!!, Smoking, Smut, Swearing, Zoro and Sanji switch, general mayhem, graphic depictions of sex, lots of happy nakama, lots of smut, so this fic is basically just that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:00:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 82,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24398434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synvamp/pseuds/synvamp
Summary: Zoro knows what he wants; he just doesn't know how to get it.Sex.Violence.And maybe ...love.
Relationships: Minor NaRo only, Nami/Nico Robin, Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 69
Kudos: 172





	1. Aperitif (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [contraryGreymalkin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/contraryGreymalkin/gifts).



> Yes, that fic X'D I wonder if anyone still remembers the fun we had on LiveJournal and AFF with this one? Special thanks to contraryGreymalkin for all his help with Zoro's characterisation - I loved working with you on this so much!

Hammocks were half torn down, bodies littered the floor and empty barrels rolled from one side of the room to the other with the swell. All in all, a normal Friday night on the Going Merry.

Luffy lay on his back in the middle of the floor. His belly was swollen by the huge meal he’d finished just before passing out. Zoro noticed that he was smiling happily even in his sleep. This was a very good sign. When Luffy had bad dreams, things got destroyed. It wasn’t so bad though… most of those things were attached to Usopp, seeing as he slept next to Luffy. Kid was good for a laugh even unconscious. Chopper was asleep on Luffy’s stomach, rising and falling with each breath the Captain took. Usopp was curled up in a corner, snoring ever so gently. He was out of the game hours ago. Couldn’t handle his drink for shit. Robin was reading by the moonlight out on deck. At least she had the sense to stay out of the chaos. Only Nami, Sanji and Zoro remained. Sitting in the corner cross-legged, they were still drinking.

Nami had bet the boys that she could out drink them. Again. Sanji had been matching her drink for drink and was beginning to look slightly rosy in the cheeks. Zoro had kept up easily. He didn’t want to get too hammered but with these lightweights he knew it wouldn’t be a problem. He had _plans_ for tonight.

He nervously gulped down his next shot and then poured a double. How the hell was he going to do this? What the hell could he say that wouldn’t just send that shitty-cook into fits of laughter? What the hell was he even thinking? He didn’t like guys! Zoro contemplated his scarred hands; the liquid in his cup was wobbling slightly as they trembled. Shit! His hands didn’t tremble! They were steady and calm and solid and dependable, just like him…

Just like he was a fortnight ago anyway. What had that shitty-cook done to him?!

\--------------

It had started when they were fighting. Zoro didn’t even remember what they were fighting about. Probably Nami. Bitch was always making him do her chores and if he told her to get stuffed Sanji would get all shirty and over-protective. As if that Amazon needed anyone to look out for her! Violent money loving wench…

All he knew was that he heard the whistle of something whipping through the air and dodged reflexively. Sanji’s leg had come crashing down onto the bench seat next to him, breaking it clean in two and sending him crashing to the ground and reaching for his katanas. Adrenaline pumped into his system and his instincts kicked in. By the time he had hit the floor he had spun around in a crouching position and realised he had left his swords in the hold - he’d been oiling the blades. He’d only come into the galley for a fucking snack. He didn’t expect the shitty-cook to try to decapitate him as soon as he sat down.

He shot up trying to land an upper cut on Sanji’s precious face, only to be kicked in the head and knocked back to the ground. Sanji stood above him with one foot raised high above his head.

“Say that again, prick,” he said, eyes glinting with malice. He hadn’t kicked Zoro very hard - more like a _warning kick_. The next one wouldn’t be so gentle, he could see Sanji’s grounded foot shifting angle for a solid axe kick. The same kick that had just turned the bench into a pathetic looking pile of firewood. Usopp would not be happy.

Zoro let his instincts kick in. He had spent a long time fighting in bars where his katanas would give him away. He always relished the chance to give someone a nasty _surprise_ so he used to keep them out of the way unless he needed them. He found he didn’t need them that much. He put his hands on the rough wooden floorboards and turned his body fluidly, sweeping his leg out to collect Sanji and knock him off balance. Sanji’s leg came crashing down as Zoro turned and dropped his shoulder and used his momentum to turn his sweeping kick into a roll.

The blow landed heavily on Zoro’s ribs, knocking the air out of him but he had achieved his goal. Sanji’s foot was swept out from under him and Zoro’s body rolling under his knees prevented him from getting good purchase with the other one. He came down like a sack of shit. Zoro leapt to his feet behind him and grabbed the blonde by the collar as he went down. Last thing he wanted was for the guy to get his hands on the boards… then he’d really be in trouble.

He whipped his hand round and slammed it back sending Sanji spinning to face him and then pushing him back into the galley table. Zoro closed the gap between them quickly but not quick enough. Sanji lifted his knee and drove it, hard, into Zoro’s side. He grunted and then grinned. Sanji was too close to get a really good dig in. Shitty-cook was really in for it this time.

He closed the gap between their bodies and Sanji squirmed, trying to get one of his legs out to land another kick. Boy was he pissed now. Zoro pushed even closer to the cook and pinned him on the table, struggling like a wild cat. He glared down at the cook and raised a fist. He wasn’t going to hit him; he just wanted to see the look on his simpering face as he threatened to ruin it for good. Oh, the things Zoro could do to that delicate upturned nose with one punch. It made him excited just thinking about it.

At least that’s what he thought it was.

He felt Sanji’s sharp hips dig into his as he struggled and spat. He could feel hot waves rising from the bottom of his belly. The heat suffused his groin and he felt his breath catch. He realised all too late that he was squarely between Sanji’s legs, all his weight pinning the skinny bastard down. And he was getting hard.

_Wait._

_What the fuck?_

He jumped back and let Sanji go. The cook scrambled to his feet; he was absolutely livid.

“Don’t you fucking run you bull necked freak! I’m going to grind you into the deck and make pâté out of you!” He lifted one leg again and turned his upturned foot at a right angle. _Roundhouse. Time to go._

“You’re not worth my time, shitty-cook,” Zoro choked as he scrambled for the door handle at his back. He had to get out of there before Sanji noticed the hard on. He’d never hear the end of it. He clawed desperately at the door and just managed to swing it open and step back as Sanji’s kick cleaved the air in front of him. He fell through the door and scrambled out onto the deck. He saw Sanji glaring blue murder as he kicked the door closed and it slammed in the blonde’s face.

“You better watch your back, shit head!” The cook’s voice rang out behind the door.

\----------

Zoro went straight below deck to the hold. It was good place to think, he couldn’t let any of the other see him like this. What the hell had just happened? He had sparred like that with hundreds of men and that had never happened before. He shuddered and drew a deep breath. _It was just cause of all that squirming. Shitty cook was wriggling all over the place, rubbing up against me. That’s all it was. I’ve been out on this damn boat with only my hands for company for so long that my body will react to anything._ He sighed. That was it. He was just lucky he hadn’t picked a fight with Chopper really… now that would have been awkward. At that he grinned. It was fine. It was just one of those things, once they got into port he could find a nice violent woman to bed and everything would be alright.

At least that was what he thought.

He had just planned to avoid Sanji for a while and wait until the boat docked but the shitty-cook was always picking fights with him. Every time he had a bloody meal, there he’d be smooching up to the girls all cocky-like and giving Zoro shit. When Zoro didn’t react he’d parade around going on about how Marimo was scared of him and didn’t want to fight anymore. He could have taken the abuse but questioning his will to fight?

Shitty cook crossed the line.

...but every time they got into a scrap and grabbed each other by the collar screaming abuse, all Zoro could think about was how soft his skin looked and how his hair tickled when it brushed against his face. This meant he couldn’t keep fighting - what if he got a hard on again? He just couldn’t risk it and every time he backed down, Sanji’s ribbing just got worse. What the hell was going on?

He spent more and more time sitting alone in the crow’s nest. It was a nice, calm, secluded spot and it gave him time away to think. The cool breeze cleared his head and the soft sound of the waves soothed him. He really was born to be on the sea.

He had decided it was just because Sanji looked like a girl. Those long, long legs, slender hips, tapered waist… Zoro had always liked blondes, temperamental bitches most of them so lots of fun. It was just ‘cause he was the only blonde on board… But then again Zoro liked redheads too. Why wasn’t he going ape over Nami? Well, he knew why. There was something about her… that bitch was pure evil. He respected that; but still, the idea of getting cosy with the crazed witch made him come out in a cold sweat. What about Robin? She was a bit polished for Zoro but still pretty hot. Why wasn’t he waking up hot and sticky over her? This wasn’t getting him anywhere.

He had even tried thinking about Robin and jerking off. Anything to distract himself and it wasn’t such a bad thought… but every time he got close to climax, his mind wandered and he would see that shitty-cook’s face. Or more his body. His pale, slender body writhing beneath him. Shit, shit, shit… and before he could stop he’d be coming hard. Left wet and cold and confused as hell. His own body had betrayed him. He knew he didn’t like men; it was just his body that didn’t know it. And he certainly didn’t like that shitty-cook. He was a pain in the ass…

Now he was thinking about Sanji’s ass. _Great._

In the end there was just no way to deny it. He had to confront it and accept it. He was going to be the greatest swordsman of all time, for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t be defeated by a tiny bit of sexual tension! There were a lot of gay people out there and they still did ok. Not that he was gay... They still fought and killed and people respected them. He just had to face it. He wanted to fuck Sanji. He wanted to fuck him so hard that the stupid condescending grin would be knocked right off his smarmy face. His gorgeous girly face. Fuck. What was he going to do? Sanji wouldn’t want him! He spent all his time fawning over those _bitches._ Zoro started. He hadn’t realised he was so…. _jealous?_ Oh shit. What the hell was he going to do?

He mooched around for days trying to figure it out. He snuck around the galley so that no-one would see him and watched Sanji cook almost every day. Today he was making a pie. He watched his nimble, dexterous fingers doing things that Zoro had never known were possible. He realised that he had never really watched someone cook before. He’d also never wished he was a roll of pastry... _Damn that guy was good with his hands._ He watched his pink lips wrap delicately around his cigarette, slightly parted. He chewed his lips when he was concentrating. Zoro wondered if he did it when he was gasping in ecstasy… or if he was the type who’d just cry out loud. He wondered what sort of noises Sanji would make…

“Zoro, what are you doing?” Luffy asked, loudly. He was right next to Zoro’s head. He had swung down from the deck above and was hanging upside down from the railing of the wheelhouse. His arms stretched unnaturally as he bounced up and down. Zoro jumped and turned away to hide his throbbing erection.

“Don’t jump out at me like that!” he said, cuffing Luffy on the head backhanded with more affection than malice. He wondered what his Captain would make of this. He probably didn’t even know what sex was, naïve kid.

“Well….” whined Luffy “what are you doing? I’m bored!” Luffy let the railing go and fell on his head with a thump before sitting up and smiling, clutching his hat.

“Uh… ummm…” Zoro’s mind whirled. Think quick. “Shitty-cook keeps fighting me so I have to make sure he’s in a good mood before I can even get a snack. What’s his problem?” Zoro scowled and moved his thighs a little to check. Still hard. Shit.

“But I thought you liked sparring with Sanji,” Luffy said, his wide eyes opened in surprise. The idea of Zoro not wanting a fight clearly didn’t fit in with his ideas on life the universe and everything. Why the hell did he say that? Of course he liked to spar with Sanji. Too much. _Way too much._

“I just…. Haven’t felt like going easy on him for a while. I might want to hurt him but I don’t want to kill the idiot.”

“Ah!” said Luffy and nodded his head. Zoro checked again. Finally! He turned around and went to sit down, as he did his eyes passed over the galley window. Stupid shitty-cook was staring at him. And smiling. _Shit._ Zoro sat down with a thump, scowling blackly.

“Hey, Zoro?” said Luffy. He was clearly waiting for Zoro to say something but he didn’t have any idea how to express feelings like this. This was not good.

“Are you ok?” Luffy persisted. He looked at Zoro with those big round eyes, all full of concern. Zoro was not in the mood for pity. He needed time to think. There had to be something he could do to get out of this mess.

“I’m fine,” he snapped, standing up again just as abruptly. He didn’t even know if he was coming or going anymore. What had that shitty-cook done to him?!

“Good!” said Luffy, smiling up at him. He was so damn simple. He shot one rubbery arm back up to the railing and then yanked himself, still in a sitting position, out of view. Zoro just put his head into his hands. He’d just go back up the crow’s nest and try to think it through. Fuck.

What was he going to do?

\----------------

Sanji smirked and pulled on his cigarette. Zoro was watching him again.

He had noticed that something was wrong a couple of weeks back. Every time he hit the guy he practically ran away. It was so unlike Zoro that he couldn’t get his head around it. The guy loved to fight. It was practically all he did. Train; eat like a pig and fight.

At first he thought that the guy must be depressed. Not that he gave a shit but life on a pirate ship was pretty crowded and having the stupid green-haired fuck moping about all the time was starting to piss him off.

He tried to rile him up to get him back to normal but the guy wouldn’t even take the bait. He just sat there looking like he’d been hit by a truck and staring into space. He wouldn’t even meet the cook’s gaze. Sure, he could get him to fight by pressing his buttons (must be a dick-less wonder, second anyone challenged his fighting prowess he just couldn’t help himself…) but his heart wasn’t in it and as soon as they got to head clashing distance he just scurried off.

Sanji just couldn’t figure it out.

This new, timid Zoro was endearing in some ways. He had always been attractive. Sanji had male lovers before; not many but some. He was very picky with his men, unlike with the ladies. They were all so soft and warm… who was he to complain? He had never been interested in Zoro though. Despite his looks he was a pig-headed arrogant prick and Sanji just didn’t go for it. Zoro was the sort of guy you fought with, not fucked. Plus; he knew he was straight. They’d talked about women. He hadn’t let Zoro know that he didn’t mind a man occasionally, dumb Marimo would probably tell Nami and Robin that he was a fag. Fuck that.

But he could tell by the way Zoro talked that he was straight. Painfully and rigidly straight. But the scared look in his eyes when Sanji walked into the room… The hurried exits and breaking away mid-fight to run off and hide in the crow’s nest… This was a Zoro he had not seen before. It almost made the bastard seem human.

Then he saw him _watching_. At first he thought he was just waiting for him to finish in the galley so he could sneak in and get some sake without Sanji abusing him. He had been abusing him rather a lot. It was just so funny to see the guy scurrying away with his tail between his legs. Made Sanji laugh every time.

But whenever the cook left and came back, there was the bastard again. He couldn’t figure it out. Unless…. No. It just wasn’t possible.

Sanji had mulled over the possibility for a little while and then decided it couldn’t be true… but when Zoro’s behaviour around him just got weirder and weirder he had to check… Nothing drastic. Just a little thing to try to figure out what was happening in that oaf’s thick green head.

One day while he was serving a fantastic beef broth that he had made out of the last salt beef (that Luffy hadn’t scoffed on his damn midnight raids) he leaned over Zoro and made to grab the ladle from in front of him. As he did it, he brushed the swordsman’s cheek with his hair, ever so softly.

Normally, Zoro would have practically taken his head off. He would have jumped the table, pinned Sanji to it and proceeded to give him a lecture about personal space comprised entirely of four-letter words. Instead, he drew a sharp little breath and froze, just where he was. He kept perfectly still until Sanji had leaned over him, grabbed the ladle and sat down. Then he let out a soft little sigh.

_Oh boy._ This was going to be _fun._

_\----------------_


	2. To Whet the Appetite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: SMUT all the smut, this fic is pure smut, crack & rival!Romance X'D

Nami slammed down her mug and wiped the last of the cheap sake from her lips. The motion startled Zoro from his reflections. What a fucked up few weeks it had been.

“I win!” she said, her eyes sliding around the room unfocussed, “Give me that 2000 berri you owe me Zoro or I’ll add it to your debt plus int…” her eyes closed and her head drooped forward. She was fast asleep. Sanji looked up from pouring her next drink and gaped.

“Nami-schwan… don’t you want another little drink…? I made it especially for yooooouuuu…” he said, heart-shaped eyes fluttering. Zoro nudged the sleeping girl with his foot. She fell backwards, narrowly avoiding hitting the deck head first.

“Hey!” said Sanji, his hands cradling her head. “You watch what you do to Nami-schwan you oaf…” he looked down at the drooling mess. “I was hoping I might finally work my way into Nami’s good books tonight… but it’s not to be,” he sighed and tucked a flour sack under her head.

“You mean into her pants,” said Zoro, smirking “seems like you were planning a bit too far ahead,” he said, levelling Wadou - his favourite katana - at Sanji’s strained trousers. Seems like someone had got a little excited. He tried to look up at Sanji’s face but he couldn’t take his eyes off the bulge. His whole body tingled. He slowly forced his gaze up to meet the cook’s. Sanji crossed his legs, a deep red blush rising in his cheeks.

“Shut up, pervert.” Sanji tugged at his jacket trying to cover the conspicuous bulge. “I didn’t know you spent so much time staring at my crotch.”

He shifted his weight again, looking down at the floor. He didn’t want Zoro to see the twinkle in his eye. That was a _great_ line… he could feel the swordsman cringe. 'Go away!' he thought, in the general direction of his hard-on. He didn’t want to be distracted when there was so much fun to be had. All this wriggling was making it rub just the right way. This was not helping. He didn’t want Zoro to run away and jerk off before he’d had his fun with him.

“There’s a lot of things that you don’t know about me,” said Zoro, trying to sound threatening. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had played this scene out in his mind a thousand times. He would not fuck it up. Here was Sanji sitting only a few feet away from him practically bursting out of his pants. It was making his brain turn to mush. What should he say? _Shit._

He didn’t really know how to chat up a guy... With a girl you just told them how gorgeous they were and if you were lucky, they fucked you. He could imagine what Sanji would do if he did that. Sanji was staring at him with a funny smile on his face. _Shit._ Say something. Just spit it out!

He lowered the katana slightly and rested the tip on Sanji’s thigh. “There’s more than one way to sate a sailor’s itch…” he nearly stopped there and just ran but the katana was practically a part of him… and that part of him was resting on Sanji’s thigh. _Too late now…_

He let the katana trail slowly down over Sanji’s leg to his foot and then sat it suggestively in his own lap and smirked. He had to get just the right balance of suggestiveness and restraint… He had been going over this scene in his mind for weeks. How he would approach, how he would slowly peel off each piece of that dark suit and touch his lips to the tender pale flesh beneath….

“Looks like you might be thinking too far ahead too,” said Sanji, a cool smile levelled at Zoro’s rising katana. Zoro slowly drew the back of the blade across his crotch and returned the katana to its sheath. He undid his bandana from around his arm and then he took off his shirt and folded it next to him. He never did anything by halves. If this was going to happen then he would have to fucking make it happen.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it…” He said, terrified by what Sanji might say. Would he just laugh in his face? Wake Nami and Luffy and point while Zoro struggled to get his shirt back on so he could leap overboard and drown himself?

“I haven’t…” teased Sanji, loving the contrast between the bravado - the bastard was actually getting undressed! - and the gut wrenching fear that was plain on the swordsman’s face “I’ve got Nami to think about.”

Zoro growled softly, he removed his katanas one by one and placed them on the floor next to him. Shit. What could he say? Sanji hadn’t laughed... In fact he was giving Zoro a look that Zoro had only seen him give a really tender cut of meat. Was he thinking about how to dissect him? Ok, ok… have to stop thinking. Just let the lust take over - if I keep worrying I’m just going to sound like a desperate high school girl. Control. He had to be in control.

“Well I think you’d better start worrying about me…” he said, slowly unravelling his green haramaki and folding it neatly on top of his shirt.

“I don’t need to worry about you. I can take you any day Marimo man!” scoffed Sanji.

“Well why don’t you come over here and try it?” drawled Zoro “I’m all ready for you.”

He stroked his chest, letting his fingers run down his biggest scar and rest on his muscled stomach. Sanji stroked the soft down on his chin and took a few drags on his cigarette. Zoro noticed that the bulge in his pants hadn’t subsided. He tried not to get carried away imagining how sweet his flesh would smell, how his slender body would feel... He couldn’t ruin his chance. He was no good at this stupid courtship stuff. Why should a man have to go to all this effort to seduce another man? Surely that was girl stuff. Why couldn’t the teasing strumpet just pull his pants down and let him get on with it?

“What? You afraid that I’ll show you up in the bedroom as well?” Zoro struggled to bring his eyes back up to meet Sanji’s. He was smiling and leaning back over a sack of rice. His legs were spread. Zoro could almost smell him. He thought he was going to explode. “I promise I’ll go easy on you….” He smirked to cover his embarrassment. Sanji grinned widely and took a leisurely drag on his cigarette. The bastard was just laughing at him. He’d never hear the end of it now. He knew this was a stupid idea.

“Fine,” he snapped. “Just forget I said anything. You wouldn’t have been able to handle me anyway.” He snorted and picked up his haramaki and began to wind it back around his body. Sanji laughed.

“I wondered how long it would take you,” he grinned a cheeky grin. “For someone who’s going to be the best swordsman in the world, you’re not very good at picking up a duelling partner. No wonder you’re so frustrated.” He laughed again. Zoro’s eyes turned black. He was so angry now that he had almost forgotten the promise of sweet pale flesh… _almost._

“I’m only frustrated because you keep leading me on.” He snapped.

“I do nothing of the sort,” said Sanji, his eyes dancing merrily. He reached up to his mouth and plucked the cigarette from his lips. He looked at Zoro levelly through the blue smoke as his other hand trailed from his knee, over his thighs and then came to rest on his hips, he licked his lips. It was more than Zoro could stand. In one fluid motion he grabbed his swords and clothes and strode past Sanji to the door.

“I’m going to train,” he said, in a strangled gasp.

“It’s just like you to scoff down your appetiser and miss the main course...” said Sanji as Zoro lifted his hand to the door handle. Zoro turned and looked down at him. He didn’t want to miss his chance but he didn’t know if he could stand this much longer without just jumping on Sanji and… No, no, no, concentrate. He hovered, one hand on the door and held his breath.

“I bet I can make you come before I do,” said Sanji, softly.

Zoro’s jaw practically hit the floor. As it was he dropped his clothes and his katanas. He winced as they hit the floor with a clang. But it didn’t take him long to recover.

“I bet you can’t,” he growled. Sanji leaned back and stretched, then put out his cigarette. Zoro was so excited he didn’t know what to do. He knew what he wanted to do but he didn’t want to be too rough. Sanji was such a ladies man; he wouldn’t know what to do with a man. He’d probably scare him off if he went too fast…

“Well don’t just stand there… sit down,” said Sanji, relishing the confusion on Zoro’s face and the prodigious swelling of his pants. Zoro sat down cross-legged; he looked like a starving man staring at a banquet. He just didn’t know where to start. His eyes burned with lust. He wasn’t looking at Sanji’s face at all, just his slender, tight body….

“I’m up here you lout,” said Sanji, he leaned forward and sat on Zoro’s lap facing him. He let his groin rest hard up against Zoro. “That better?” he said. Zoro wrapped his big calloused hands around Sanji’s slender waist and pulled his even closer.

“Oh yes,” he whispered. Sanji leaned in and kissed him deeply, he felt all of the built up lust from the last weeks swell up inside him. He explored every part of Sanji’s mouth with his tongue and bit his lips gently. But he wanted more. He reached up and began to undo Sanji’s shirt buttons.

“Now, now, Mr. Marimo you’re going to have to be patient if you want to play with me…” he picked up Zoro’s hands and moved them to behind Zoro’s back. Then he undid Zoro’s haramaki, picked up the discarded bandana and tied Zoro’s hands behind his back. He could feel Sanji hard against him, wriggling while he tied the knot. Zoro was frustrated, he just wanted to grab him and push him up against a barrel and… but he had to be restrained. No matter how much he was teased. He couldn’t be too rough.

_Deep breath._

“Well let’s see what has been giving you all this trouble then.” Sanji teased, his hand trailing slowly down Zoro’s chest and resting on his crotch. He sat back just far enough to get good access and undid Zoro’s pants. A hot, sweet musky smell rose from between them and Zoro gasped involuntarily as he felt the light, cold fingers caress him.

“No wonder you’ve been so upset. This is quite a big problem you have.” Sanji smiled as he began to stroke Zoro slowly and gently.

“I’ve been saving it all up for you,” mumbled Zoro, ducking as Sanji tried to swat him away from pulling his shirt buttons open with his teeth. He tore at the fabric and got one button undone. Sanji looked at him raising one curly eyebrow,

“You really have been haven’t you?” he pushed Zoro away from his shirt squeezing him harder to get his attention. Zoro groaned.

“Come on you tease…”

“Well I don’t usually eat that much meat in one sitting…” he grinned impishly, he could feel Zoro getting damp below his soft hands. He wiped up single bead of moisture with his fingers and lifted his hand until it was right in front of Zoro’s face and licked it off with relish. Zoro groaned again and tested the knot at his wrists. It was pretty tight. _Damn it._

“… I’m sure I could make an exception though…” He leaned forward, really close and rubbed himself against Zoro, who groaned again.

“Come on… please...” he said. Sanji smiled, moved himself away and off Zoro and stood up.

“I never heard you say please before. Maybe this is the best way to teach you some manners…” He loosened his tie and started to undo the remaining buttons of his shirt. Then he took off his jacket and hung it up on a peg on the wall. The shirt followed soon after. Zoro twisted his hands out of the sash but kept them behind his back. _He’s in for it now_.

He sat, level with Sanji’s crotch as he slowly undid the buttons on his pants and slipped them down over his slender thighs. He wasn’t wearing any underpants. Horny bitch. The cook smiled and stroked his nipples, then went to remove his tie.

“Leave it on,” Zoro growled. Sanji looked at him quizzically then grinned and tightened the tie again. _Kinky bastard._ Zoro could smell the sweetness of his pheromones in the air. He looked so pale and soft, so warm and tight. Sanji kicked off his shoes and smiled down at his captive.

“Like what you see?” he asked. He was a natural blonde. Zoro had wondered…. he wouldn’t have put it past the vain bastard to dye his hair even out in the middle of the ocean. As it was he just nodded, hypnotised.

“I’m still up here,” Sanji said, rolling his eyes. Was this guy just going to sit there staring at his dick? He really was hopeless.

“So, what are you going to do to me, with that black look of yours?” Sanji encouraged. Zoro tried to remember what position he had settled on in his fantasies… Having Sanji naked right in front of him, stroking himself complacently had distracted him utterly.

“Is that an invitation?” asked Zoro, using the last of his self-restraint.

“I can just take care of myself if you’re scared I’m going to beat you,” Sanji smirked.

There is only so much that a man can take. Zoro stood up and threatened Sanji with his fourth and favourite sword. He put one hand on either side of it and grabbed his pants and tore them off. Grinning blackly, he threw them at Sanji.

“I’m going to make you eat those words,” he said.

“You don’t want me to start on something else?” Sanji asked, coyly biting one finger any looking longingly at Zoro’s weighty erection. It really was something. Maybe he shouldn’t have teased the guy quite so much… Zoro walked up to him and pulled their bodies together, he could smell Sanji hot and sweet and he grabbed his tight ass and squeezed. Then he slowly sunk to his knees, kissing Sanji’s face, neck, chest… Biting his nipples softly as he went down. Sanji moaned and held Zoro’s head between his hands.

“I guess not…” he murmured. Zoro kissed his stomach and then his thighs…. He started to work his way slowly back up alternating nibbles with long deft licks. He reached up one hand above him and began to stroke Sanji in time to his licking, getting higher and higher and higher… Sanji gasped and Zoro drew away and looked up at him. His face was flushed pink and he was breathing heavy. The smell of his sex was all Zoro knew. He took him in his mouth deep and sudden and Sanji groaned softly. He flicked his tongue over Sanji, squeezing his buttocks hard and then he released him just as suddenly. Sanji sighed and mumbled something…

“What?” said Zoro, slowly licking his way back up Sanji’s torso, pinching his nipples again before nibbling the soft skin on his neck. He tasted just as sweet as he had thought. His skin was soft and firm… _tight._ He wondered if he’d be this tight on …

“Don’t you want me to lick you from one end to the other…?” Sanji gasped out as Zoro put one hand between his legs and rubbed him gently. Sanji sure as hell wasn’t going to lose this bet to a man virgin but it felt _so good…_

“Nope,” said Zoro pausing briefly before continuing to suckle Sanji’s hot skin …he tasted so sweet… He wriggled his fingers and Sanji squirmed, Zoro could feel him getting even harder. He was sure to win. Sanji was starting to sway, all that blood rushing down had made him giddy. Zoro smiled looked up at him, his lips were red and slightly parted, his eyes were closed.

“And you don’t just want to lick me?” Sanji mumbled, worried for a minute.

“Nope,” said Zoro, his fingers warm and damp. He knelt down and started to nibble his way back up Sanji’s legs. Sanji was breathing deep and fast. It was such a turn on; Zoro still had his taste lingering on his lips. There was no way that he could handle Sanji’s sweet pink tongue on him without making a mess. He could almost feel it now, just like the cook... warm and wet and soft…. He stood up slowly, holding Sanji fast so he wouldn’t over balance. He was feeling light-headed now too. He leaned in over Sanji and gently rubbed them together. Sanji just leaned back and closed his eyes and moaned.

“You want me?” he whispered in Sanji’s ear.

“Yes. Yes…” said Sanji, eyes still closed.

“Yes what?” Zoro’s eyes twinkled with mischief. Sanji’s eyes opened and he stroked his fingers slowly down Zoro’s throat, swaying gently against his body as he did.

“Yes please, shit head.” Zoro put a hand on his shoulder and stepped back. Sanji turned obediently and smiled coyly over his shoulder. “Like this?”

“Mmmm….” Zoro reached out and placed one hand on each of his buttocks. He leaned forward and used his weight to push Sanji down until he was bending over a sack of rice. Sanji reached a hand back and rubbed Zoro’s cock. He felt his hand slide effortlessly up him. The bastard had brought lube. He knew that this was going to happen and he’d acted all coy. What a _bitch._ Fuck it, I’ll punish him later…

He nestled himself gently between Sanji’s thighs. This was just how he imagined it. He rubbed Sanji gently and reached forward and stroked him as he leaned in. “Do you like it a little rough?” he asked, hopefully. He let one finger sink slowly into Sanji’s gorgeous ass… He was doomed. The second he let himself slide into this piece of heaven he’d just…

“Come on…” said Sanji, bucking his hips backwards. Zoro let his fingers roll softly around and then took a firm grip of Sanji, one hip in each hand. He leaned back and let the sweet hot smell waft up to him. He could feel the warmth on his tip and he slid slowly down until he rested between Sanji’s thighs. He quivered in delight and Sanji responded with a gasp and a gentle squeeze. He was just as tight as Zoro had dreamed. He pulled back and felt Sanji tremble under his touch - he swore softly. This felt too good, he could feel Sanji tightening his grip and the sweet warmth was intoxicating. He squeezed his hips and pulled them together, hard. Sanji gasped and then moaned gently, he liked this a lot… Zoro had never heard anything more sexy.

Zoro kissed Sanji’s back and then pulled away again and slowly they found a rhythm. The swordsman leaned in and took Sanji’s cock in his hand and squeezed. The blonde could feel Zoro hard inside him; he was so damned big it was hard not to just give in. He could feel his muscles tightening involuntarily and could only just keep himself from yielding to the shudders of orgasm. He bucked his hips wildly and tried to stop Zoro for just a minute, so that he could calm down but he didn’t stop. He just got faster. And harder. Sanji could feel his fingers digging in to his hips… concentrate on that. Don’t think about the hard strong body, heaving into him again and again and again and again…

Sanji tensed and let out a gasp. He bucked and squirmed as he felt the giddy waves of orgasm rock him.

Zoro could feel him getting faster and faster. Sanji was pulling him in and holding him, harder every time… He could hear his breathing get shorter and more desperate. He was coming. Zoro tightened his grip and thrust deep, he felt Sanji quiver and tense and then cry out. “Oh fuck… _Zoro…fuck_ …”

His muscles tensed in waves and pulled Zoro down with him. Zoro felt the pleasure tip him over the edge and he thrust up hard between Sanji’s legs. He gasped as he felt the soft insides quiver and clench around him; he heard Sanji call out his name and lost himself completely. He held Sanji tight below him and came hard deep inside him, the force of the orgasm making his vision blur and his breathing stop. They shuddered to a halt together.

It took him a while to get his breath back. He gasped and gaped and then slowly withdrew from the sprawled figure below him.

“I won,” he said and slapped Sanji on his tender pink bottom. _Holy fuck, that was good._

“Like hell you did,” said Sanji, rolling over to a sitting position then straightening his tie. He stood up and laughed. “You just have to win don’t you? Now lie down and give me a cuddle.” Zoro snorted and looked at him sceptically. He looked serious. Oh well, anything that would get him another piece of that was fine by him. He lay down and made himself comfortable.

Sanji strode over and happily sprawled himself over Zoro’s muscly physique twirling one finger absent mindedly around his nipple.

“Just one thing,” Zoro asked “why the hell did you play with me for so long before you let me have you?”

“You haven’t figured it out Marimo man?” said Sanji, ruffling Zoro’s green hair affectionately. “I like you when you’re angry”

Che, thought Zoro. He’s lucky that he does. He twisted from under Sanji’s grip and pinned him face-down to the floor. He leaned in over Sanji’s shoulder letting his lips just brush his ear.

“Got room for dessert?” he whispered.

\----------------


	3. More than You Can Chew

_Dessert?!_ Sanji bit back the urge to laugh… Zoro had gone from confused to cocky in about three seconds flat. He had only just had his first experience with a man and he was already asking for more. Sanji sighed. The man clearly had no restraint. He was almost back to his normal self. Pity really.

“I thought you might want to put your clothes back on before Luffy and the others wake up,” he mumbled into the floor, grinning. Zoro was still lying on him heavily.

“ _Shit_ ,” said Zoro. He looked around nervously. He had completely forgotten that there was anyone else in the room. Stupid shitty-cook distracted him. He didn’t want to get off him though; he was so damn soft and warm… Zoro’s eyes travelled around the room. Luffy still snored, Chopper still rose and fell gently…. Nami and Usopp were still crumpled on the floor in their respective drunken heaps. Well thank fuck for that.

He sighed and resignedly rolled off the blonde, sitting up and trying to ignore his hard on and locate his clothes as he did it. His shirt was folded neatly next to where they had been drinking. His bandana was twisted in a knot next to Sanji’s feet and his pants…

_Shit._ That was right. He drew his knees up to shield himself from view in case one of the others woke up.

“Shit,” he said again. Sanji rolled over and looked up at him.

“I was wondering how long it would be ‘till you started bitching again. What’s wrong now? Just can’t bear to wait?” He preened just a little. He must have really made an impression. Stupid Marimo would have to give him a break now he knew how good in bed he was …and stop being such a mopey shit.

He stopped preening when he saw the look on Zoro’s face. He was moping again already. What now?!

He raised one curly eyebrow at the swordsman in the form of a question. _What?_

Zoro just pointed towards the door. Sanji followed his gnarled finger and saw two crumpled heaps of black on the floor.

Zoro’s pants.

He couldn’t help it this time, he laughed out loud.

“Shut up target brow,” said Zoro. He was more sulking than snapping. The pouty look on his face was so comical; Sanji stifled another guffaw and sat up to find his clothes. He found pants, shirt and shoes and slowly put them on. Zoro glared at him. Was this shitty cook just going to leave him here with no pants and go off for a smoke? Wouldn’t put it past him…

“Don’t look at me like that you grumpy fuck,” Sanji said. “I’ll go and get you a spare pair from the bunk room. You’re bloody lucky that a good fuck puts me in a generous mood. You tore my best shirt, you cave man!” he stood up, finally fully dressed, he straightened his tie and collar then began to fumble in his pockets for a cigarette. He stole a glance at Zoro, who was trying not to grin at his backhanded compliment.

“Don’t you look so happy, baka. It was expensive,” he said, affectionately kicking the mossy green head as he turned to leave.

\--------------

Sanji didn’t know what to do. Damn Zoro wanted to fuck him just as often as he wanted to fight him. Pretty much all the time. Not that Sanji minded. Heck, he loved it! Having that kind of power over Zoro was almost intoxicating…

…but it was rather _inconvenient._

What if the ladies started to wonder why he was hanging around so much? Zoro was hot, all rich coffee coloured skin and defined muscle… Sanji wondered what he’d taste like with dark chocolate and candied orange peel. If Zoro was a flavour it would have to be strong black coffee… rich, full, strong and bitter-sweet.

Sanji would always have a soft spot for the gentler sex though - if you could really call Nami and Robin gentle - but what if they walked in while Zoro was hounding him? It would be pretty hard to explain it if they strolled through the door and he was trying baste meat with his hands while fending off a horny swordsman with his feet.

In a way the situation was better because they had almost gone back to their normal relationship. Sanji didn’t really want to admit it but he had gotten used to his constant fights with the shitty-Marimo and he had missed them. Most of his life was caught up with cooking, fighting and charming; Zoro was a vital outlet for him. Now that the swordsman wasn’t running away from him constantly and he was fighting him again everything was normal… except for the fact that Sanji couldn’t seem to even be able to crack an egg without Zoro cracking a fat.

The swordsman had taken to hanging around in the galley making lewd suggestions and generally preventing Sanji from doing anything useful. Stupid moss-head. It had only been two days since their night together and he was acting like he hadn’t had sex for months!

He could tell that Zoro was still wrestling with his sexuality and trying to figure out what was going on but it seemed like the bastard was just too horny to care. Right now he had the swordsman pinned on the floor with a nice strong leg bar. It was a technique that allowed him to trap the swordsman’s legs in his own and twist until Zoro’s hip was about to pop out of joint. It didn’t use his hands either so he was trying to light a cigarette at the same time. Flame kept missing the end of his smoke though because Zoro kept wriggling.

It had been too easy to trap him; he hadn’t even bought his katanas. Now Sanji had moved the table further from the stove, he had a heaps more room to defend himself. That’s right. He even had to move the furniture ‘cause the bastard was so horny.

_Only Zoro._

Not that Sanji had really helped much. He had to admit it. Even though it was starting to annoy him that his omelettes were all flat, he couldn’t help but bait the swordsman. It was just so damn _fun._ He had worn his favourite pair of pants today. The pair that showed off his long legs and his ass just _perfect_. He had made light pastries for the ladies for afternoon tea and then tried to think what he could put with them. It needed to involve stirring or beating… Cream. Perfect. He could add vanilla and fine white sugar… they’d love it!

As long as he was whipping when Zoro came in from his afternoon training, it would be just right. Sanji couldn’t wait to see his face. He knew that it made his ass jiggle ever so slightly. _Guaranteed crowd pleaser._

Zoro had come in breathing heavy and covered in sweat. It was still fresh and filled the galley with the musky smell of raw power. Sanji could feel the heat coming off him in waves. He had to admit it, every time Zoro came near him his heart pounded and all the blood went straight to the bottom half of his body. Damn sexy Marimo. How was he meant to tease him successfully when doing it made him just as hot? Oh well, it was a good way to pass the time until Nami realised just how amazing he was. That was what he told himself, anyway.

Zoro slid down onto the bench seat facing Sanji and stretched out along it, swinging one leg off the edge idly.

“Did you make me a little treat?” he asked, licking his lips and looking at Sanji’s ass. He had spent all morning doing the same thing. On reflection, maybe the pants had been overkill.

Not that that was going to stop him now...

“’Course not, this is for the ladies. Like you’d appreciate really good pastry!”

“You’d be surprised,” Zoro drawled, slouching further until he was lying down across the bench, chin resting on the table. His head was at about ass level. Sanji smirked to himself; he was going to go nuts.

He reached over a long arm and grabbed the cream from the bench, added the vanilla seeds and the sugar, then started to whip. At first he wasn’t sure whether Zoro had even noticed. He didn’t want to look in case the swordsman realised that he was doing it on purpose.

He was going to win next time. Not that he didn’t win last time but this time there would be no doubt. He just had to get Zoro flustered enough without letting him get too close. After all, it wasn’t like he didn’t get hot rushing throbs every time the swordsman closed his arms around his waist and pulled them close. He just had more patience than Zoro. Big surprise.

What the guy had done to his silk shirt proved that he was a wild animal. What sort of man could just tear up a beautiful shirt like that without even blinking? Typical crude Zoro. He probably hadn’t even noticed it was silk! Too keen to get to what was underneath. It was too horrible to think about but somehow it gave him a tiny little thrill…

The cream was starting to thicken into soft peaks but Zoro still hadn’t made a sound. Too late, Sanji felt a presence right behind him and dropped the bowl just as strong hands grabbed him on the ass. Somehow the sneaky bastard had got behind him!

Sanji dropped one leg and wrapped the other one up around Zoro neatly tying him in a knot and sitting on him in one fluid motion. It was amazing how much of a difference just an extra metre made.

So now here he was; trying to light his cigarette with a horny Zoro wrapped between his legs. Bastard wasn’t even trying to escape. He was just grinning and wriggling against Sanji’s ass. “I’m going to get you shitty cook,” he said, his voice rich and low and threatening. His eyes narrowed into lustful slits and he growled.

Sanji finally lit his smoke and then put his hands down over Zoro, one on each side of his mossy head. Zoro smirked back up at him “It’s about time y…” he said as Sanji put his weight on his upper body and unwound his legs sending the swordsman spinning with a crash into the corner of the galley. He put his feet back down and then straightened himself up. The cream was ok. Good. He picked up the whisk and started whipping again. He heard Zoro stand up and glanced over his shoulder to make sure he knew where the bastard was.

He was coming straight toward him and he looked like he was about to ruin his second pair of pants in a week. Persistent fucker.

“Nami-san! Robin-chan! I made French pastries for you!!!” he called out, loudly. Zoro froze.

“You fucking tease!” he said. “I’ll get you…” his dark eyes simmered with lust.

There was a loud crack and the door splintered into pieces. Luffy’s head briefly rocketed into the galley and then went sailing out again just as quickly.

“Hey Sanji!” he called out, from wherever his body actually was “I want some too! Gimme some pastry! I’m hungry! And meat! I need meat!”

Usopp peered around the shattered door frame. Nose first, the rest of him close behind. “Ah Sanji-san,” he said, beaming “I see that you have heard about the fierce battle Captain Usopp has fought with the laundry this fine day and wish to reward me for my..” he bit his tongue hard as Nami knuckled him into the deck.

“Stop being such an idiot!” she said. She was in a bad mood because Luffy’s most recent bout of destruction had made her hand jump just while she was drawing one of the last lines on a map she had been working on for a week. _A week!_

Zoro sat down at the bench and waited patiently until everyone had poured into the room, devoured the pastries and clamoured out. He closed his eyes and mused on all of the things that he was going to do to Sanji. He had enjoyed his night with the shitty cook and now even his presence was like a drug. He was strong enough for Zoro to spar with; not just fight but really spar with. He was the only one he could let loose with and not have to hold back. The only one except Luffy but Luffy was too relaxed to fight. He had his goals but he could never be serious fighting his nakama. Sanji took him seriously. He could help him to get closer to his goal. He was hot and sweet. He was sex and violence.

He had gone to deliver a set of the nicest pastries to Robin who had avoided the rush and stayed in her chair on deck. Now that Zoro had a taste of the sweet flesh he had been craving he couldn’t bring himself to be jealous. He’d come back. And when he did….

“So you’re still here,” said Sanji, strolling back in to the galley with an empty plate. “I thought you would have run off to the crow’s nest,” he smirked and started to clean up the kitchen. Zoro had time to cool down a little. He was sure that the shitty cook was just as horny as he was. He couldn’t let it get to him. Play it cool. Control. It was just like everything between them: a competition.

He’d have him begging in the end no matter what it took. Sanji had toyed with him and he was still doing it now. There was going to be some serious revenge for that.

“How come your legs are so strong if you never train?” asked Zoro, looking at them and trying not to think about any of the things that sprang to mind. Pale, soft, warm…

Sanji looked over in surprise. “Why’d you care?”

“I want you to share your strength with me,” he looked at Sanji with burning intensity. “Make me stronger.” The cook smouldered under his gaze.

_He wants me to what?_

“Don’t take the piss shit head,” Sanji turned back to cleaning up. Stupid swordsman was going to pretend like he actually gave a toss what the cook thought all of a sudden. He just wanted to get into his pants. That was fine with Sanji but that was all it was. Zoro wasn’t the type to care about anyone except himself. Sanji knew that.

He had come through for Luffy and the crew when they needed him… but Sanji had always known it was just because the bastard thought Luffy would take him to Mihawk. He was always so cold and fucking inhuman, like he had a heart of burnished steel.

Then Sanji remembered the look in his eyes as he flushed hot and ran from the room too afraid to spar… The way he looked at him the other night; lust, hope and fear all mixed together. He turned back to face Zoro. He was looking intently at his knuckles as if they were the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. He lounged on the bench, shoulders drooping lazily but there was something about the way he sat that spoke of hidden tension.

_What the heck._

“I train while I’m cooking,” Sanji said. Zoro looked up at him, confused. “I work on my balance while I’m at the bench,” Sanji lifted one leg up to demonstrate, holding it straight out at a right angle while he washed the dishes “…and I always use my feet as much as I can when I’m cooking.” He put his foot back down and stared at it. He felt really awkward. He peered back up at Zoro through a blonde curtain of hair. He was grinning.

“ _Show me_ ,” he said.

Sanji put his hands into his pockets and gave the swordsman a calculating look. Then he lifted one foot and kicked the corner of a plate and sent it spinning into the air. He spun around and caught the plate on the top of his thigh and then rolled it down his leg, sliding it neatly into the cupboard. Then he hit another plate with the ball of his foot, this time letting it spin on the end of his shoe before flipping it around to land it flat on the side of his foot. He held his pose for a minute, the plate balanced precariously.

“I swear, if you’re taking the piss…” he said, Zoro’s eyes twinkled “I don’t know what I’ll do to you….” Zoro just kept eyeing him with a level lazy stare, his lips curled ever so slightly. What the hell was he thinking? He didn’t seem to want to fight him or fuck him. What was happening in his head? Was there anything else? Sanji couldn’t help the feeling that he was on the brink of something terrible. Or beautiful.

But this was _Zoro._

“What?” Sanji snapped, trying to figure out whether he was somehow being made fun of. He finally slid the plate down onto the shelf and took his hands out of his pockets. He picked up the dish cloth and began to dry the dishes again. Freaking Marimo creeping me out.

“Nothing,” Zoro drawled, smiling up at him from half-lidded eyes.

“What!?” asked Sanji again, slamming his foot down on the table next to Zoro’s head to emphasise the question.

Zoro sat up and stretched complacently, all his former passion and blind lust seemed to have disappeared. Sanji didn’t know whether to be pleased or disappointed. What game was this thick headed moss man playing?

“I was just thinking how you’re the perfect housewife,” said Zoro, standing and dodging the sweeping kick that Sanji aimed at his head. He ducked again and got to the empty doorway as Sanji was starting to feel the blood boil up into his cheeks.

“Don’t wait up, sweetheart,” Zoro said as he ducked around the awning, he could hear wood shattering behind him as Sanji cleared out the last bits of the door frame where his head had just been.

Zoro didn’t really know what Sanji was thinking with his tight pants and filthy mouth but whatever game he was playing, Zoro would play too.

If he could keep himself under control that long.

Sanji looked so hot when he was mad…

\-----------------


	4. Spoon Fed

Zoro looked down at the spreading pool of blood at his feet and sighed. This wasn’t exactly where he had imagined he would be right now… he had pictured more ass and less blood.

A lot less blood.

After their tousle in the kitchen he’d decided to play ‘who-can-hold-out-longer’ with Sanji. Aside from his frequent moments of drooling as he remembered the taste of the blonde hot on his lips, it had been going well so far. Ok, it was only going ‘well’ if ‘well’ meant that neither of them had given in yet and conceded defeat. Zoro had a different idea of going ‘well’. One that involved a lot less silly mind games and a lot more sex… but hey, all of this mucking around seemed to be getting the cook really hot… and it wasn’t like either of them had much time to think about what they were missing anyway.

In the few days since he had used every ounce of his will power to stop himself from ripping off Sanji’s pants and just fucking him in the dirty dish water, a lot had happened. They had been raided by pirates (that was pretty funny actually, Luffy had gone over to their ship to see if they had any meat and ripped the entire thing apart stem to stern before anyone else had even got over there), they’d been sent off course by a storm, attacked by a sea king and then they got lost.

Nami had decided that she needed a nap and Zoro had taken the helm. He’d told her he didn’t want to but the bitch insisted. That’d learn her. He knew it was a bad idea but if they hadn’t figured out that he had no sense of direction by now then that wasn’t his problem.

All of the distractions were probably a good thing. His whole head was full of nothing but Sanji’s writhing naked body. His soft blonde hair, his firm pale skin, his tender pink lips… If he hadn’t been able to fight non-stop he might have actually been forced to use the word again. No way was that happening.

Not saying please to that apron-wearing sissy.

_No way._

He briefly considered the spreading pool of blood. He didn't worry. It wasn’t like he was going to die here. He was Roronoa Zoro, destined to be the world’s greatest swordsman… He just dreaded what that smarmy, sexy cook was going to say when he saw him like this - strung up on a marine ship and tied to a pole.

Would he ever want to sleep with him again? It was part of their desire for each other surely… Although he had no idea what was happening in that pretty blonde head at the best of times, the power that Zoro saw in Sanji attracted him terribly... and here he was as helpless as a child. Oh the humiliation. The shitty cook would never want to touch him ever again. He’d look at him and see a lame fuck-up who couldn’t even defend the ship from what, fifty marines? It was pathetic.

He was pathetic.

Zoro snorted and told himself he didn’t care what that shitty cook thought. Then to distract himself he took another look at the spreading blood pool. It was probably a good idea to have a nap now and wait for someone to come and get him. If only he knew where he was…

\--------------

They had finally docked after too long on the high seas and the crew of the Going Merry had left him to guard the ship. Sanji wanted ingredients, Nami wanted clothes, Robin wanted books, Usopp wanted tools for weapon making, Chopper wanted medicine and Luffy just went to make trouble.

He couldn't care less about the attractions of the island (which were non-existent until Sanji stepped down onto the pier as far as Zoro was concerned). He just wanted to rest up and enjoy the sun. After a while he had started hoping that Luffy did make some trouble. After all of the action over the last few days to distract him, a day on the ship with nothing to do but think about Sanji’s tight ass wasn’t looking as good as he’d imagined. He wanted action.

_Famous last words._

He had leaned up against the mast and fallen into that wonderful relaxing state half way between sleep and meditation. When he woke up, there was a huge shadow over him. Turns out a marine ship had docked right next to them while he’d been asleep. Worse luck, half of them had come on board to take a look. Why didn't that stupid sea witch ever take them to the far side of the island to dock?!

He leapt to his feet to defend the ship, only to be confronted by that _damned woman_. The woman who looked so much like the girl he knew many years ago. He had stood and stared at her dumbfounded, trying to think of a way that he could get past her without hurting her (realising all too late that he was still only slowly getting used to the concept of non-fatal blows) when someone had shot him in the back. Good move really. At least they took him seriously now. But how was he going to be the greatest if he froze up every time he saw that face...

The same face that was now staring at him with hard eyes and a cold glint of anger. He could feel her stare burning into him as she asked him for the umpteenth time where the rest of his crew were. He kept his eyes closed and his body relaxed. Just need a bit of a sleep and then maybe she’ll loose her voice from screaming and go away and then he could kill all of these idiots and get back to the ship before Sanji saw him like this. Weak and fucking helpless.

Not that he cared what the shitty cook thought. Because he didn’t.

He was just starting to drift off when he felt a gentle tug at the ropes binding his arms. He opened one eye just a crack and saw an arm reaching out of the wood behind his head. Robin-chan. Great! Maybe if he was lucky she’d be on her own. He could take out the lackeys and she could deal with that girl with Kuina’s face…

A smooth, deep voice called out across the room “You lost Marimo?”

_Damnit._ Why did it have to be him? Zoro kept his eyes closed and pretended that he was unconscious. Anything to avoid the smug look on Sanji’s face. The look that said ‘what the hell did I see in you?!’ He could hear Chopper jumping up and down babbling something about getting him down quickly and back to the ship for treatment before he bled to death. As if that would happen! He was more likely to die of humiliation.

“Hey Marimo!” the voice was closer this time and accompanied by a lot of loud thumps “Pay attention you lazy bum, I got your swords!” At least Sanji didn’t think he was going to die. Sanji knew he’d be fine once he got back into the action. Zoro wanted him even more.

He opened his eyes just as he felt the last knot come undone. His haramaki was hurtling through the air - Zoro didn’t have time to dodge and it made a squelching noise when it hit him square in the exit wound. Shitty cook! That almost hurt! He dropped to the ground and put Wadou between his teeth. Robin was standing by the door smiling as hands flew out and throttled the sailors all around her. The blonde was in the middle of some kind of whirling handstand tornado thing. He just looked like a giant blur of legs and ass.

_Nice angle actually..._

No more of that for you though, shithead.

A hand flew out and punched Zoro in the face. While he had been staring at Sanji a few marines had come up behind him. Zoro turned 360 degrees and stood up while drawing his other blades. Marines fell away from him in a wave of blood.

He could see Chopper wading through the marines pouring sweat from fear and worry. “Zoroooo!!!!!” he called out.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said smiling at the reindeer ploughing towards him, “I’m fine, ok?”

“Come on! Come on!” Luffy ran into the room screaming “I’m leaving!”

Zoro looked at him with not a little confusion. What did he mean he’s leaving? The fun only just started and he needed a distraction big time! Zoro looked at his Captain. His rubbery arms shot back out the door towards the ship - he guessed. They were stretched to breaking point.

_Not again._

Luffy ran straight past him and lined himself up with the rest of his nakama. Zoro sighed and levelled his blades to take out the last few marines he could reach before Luffy’s cry of: “Gomu Gomu no…!!!” informed him that it was time to leave.

He just had enough time to sheath his katanas before being knocked off his feet and launched into the air …then he was pounded along with Chopper, Robin and Sanji into the deck of the Going Merry.

“My hat! My hat! Robin MY HAT!!!” Luffy cried as his treasure floated on the breeze down towards the water. An army of hands reached out from the side of the ship and passed the hat back up onto the deck. Luffy snatched it and slammed it back onto his head.

Zoro felt a tugging at his shirt and looked down, Chopper was already trying to take off his clothes and examine the bullet wound. It was only a scratch, it had gone through but only out near his hip. Nothing too important. He was just going to open up his mouth to say as much when Chopper jumped up.

“Sanji! Don’t let Zoro move! I’m going to get my suture kit!” the tiny furry creature scuttled off at break neck speed. Zoro sighed in defeat, leaned back and closed his eyes. He could feel Sanji’s eyes on him. What was he thinking? Stupid weak Marimo… never going to have sex with him again.

_Damn it._

He felt Sanji sit down beside him and lean in close, his soft blonde hair just brushed across Zoro’s cheek making his breath catch and a little chill ran all the way from his cheek to his groin. _Don’t think about how he tasted, don’t think about the sexy sounds he made…_

“I would have just left you tied up…” his sultry voice made Zoro want to do about a thousand things that a person bleeding heavily should not do. And it made him want to do them all. _Right. Now._ “…but I love the romance of a damsel in distress”

Zoro twisted on the deck to smack the cook right in the face but was grabbed by Chopper and pressed into the boards, forcing him to sit still. “Sanji! Don’t rile him up, he’s bleeding very heavily!” Chopper pulled up his shirt and began sponging his wound with antiseptic. Sanji stood up to go.

Zoro winced from the sting of the antiseptic and looked up at Sanji over Chopper’s bobbing head. The shitty cook had blood on his fingers and he was licking them clean one by one…

_Bastard._

_What the hell are you trying to do to me?_

\------------

“Open your mouth for the ship!” Sanji zoomed the spoon of soup through the air and tried to get it into the swordsman’s mouth.

“Fuck off,” said Zoro. “I’m not in the fucking mood.” The swordsman sat up in Chopper’s bed for treating patients. A large bandage adorned his otherwise bare middle. He was meant to be asleep but for once the lazy bastard didn’t want to nap.

Chopper had said that he had to have three full days bed rest before he could start training again. He was not happy. Sanji stifled a laugh and went in for another spoon of soup.

“Fuck OFF!” said Zoro, smacking the spoon out of the air and scowling something fierce. Sanji knew he shouldn’t tease but having a captive audience like this was just too good a chance to pass up. How often would he be able to spoon feed Zoro without having his head neatly and permanently separated from his body?

The swordsman was starting to turn a funny shade of purple; the cook figured it was time for a different tactic. There was more than one way to tease Zoro…

“So how do you like your new room?” Sanji asked, leaning back on his chair and lighting a cigarette.

“Fuck off.”

“Nice view, eh?”

“Fuck off.”

Sanji stifled another laugh. Maybe he had pushed it a little far but he figured it had been worth it. Boy was Zoro pissed now though.

“Nice and private, isn’t it?” he said airily, gazing about the cabin as if he was seeing it for the first time. Zoro looked at him. He looked like he wanted to slice him in half but at least he looked at him. They hadn’t made eye contact the entire time that Sanji had been in the room. He’d come to give Zoro some miso soup for lunch and found the swordsman staring out the window. He had been moping.

Big time.

Sanji had put up with the moody Marimo for ages before he’d given up and gone for the tease. He’d tried talking about what a great fight it was, the sparring they were going to do when Zoro was better… everything. Stupid pouty Marimo just stared out the window.

Probably couldn’t forgive himself for being captured. That had been a bit weird, it didn’t seem like there had been enough marines for Zoro to even crack a sweat… but Sanji knew that if Zoro wanted to talk, he’d talk.

And he wasn’t talking.

So Sanji had moved on to safer territory. It was a bit bizarre that making Zoro feel helpless was going to help him get over how helpless he felt but that was the kind of perverse bastard Zoro was. Sanji knew he just had to get him angry enough that he didn’t care that he was sad.

And then horny enough that he didn’t care that he was angry…

“So private that I could almost guarantee that no-one else is going to come in here for at least an hour….” Probably longer. Before he had come to see Zoro he had told the others that the swordsman was asleep when he went to give him lunch and that he would be doing a stock take in the hold all afternoon. No one should come looking for them for hours.

Zoro glared at him. He was still pissed but Sanji swore he could see the corner of his mouth twitch just a little with a suppressed smile… Sanji stood up.

“I’ve just been so stiff… do you mind if I do some stretches?” he didn’t wait for the reply. Instead he just slid slowly into splits. “Mmmm that feels better,” he took a drag on his smoke and looked at Zoro. He was looking but he was still scowling. Sanji put his hands down in front of him and then leaned forward and pushed off the floor into a handstand, slowly drawing his legs together.

“I feel like I haven’t had a good stretch for days…” he said before lowering himself back down into a sitting position “…it’s always good to warm up before a work out though, don’t want to pull a hamstring…”

Zoro was still staring at him and he was starting to prattle. He was meant to be the one in charge! How come whenever Zoro levelled those simmering green eyes at him he lost all his bravado? He was starting to feel like an idiot, all his unsubtle come ons were working about as well as they did on Nami. Maybe he’d played with Zoro for so long that he wasn’t interested anymore. _Shit._

He got up off the floor and sat back down in the chair. He put his cigarette out and lit another. _Shit._ Zoro was staring out the window again. He was probably remembering his shitty childhood or something equally awful. _Shit._

_I come in here to distract the guy and I end up just making him even more miserable. Typical. As if talking would help Zoro anyway. That’s probably why I can never get a girlfriend, I’m shit with all this deep and meaningful stuff… Better go before I make it any worse…._

Sanji gathered up the shattered remains of his ego and stood up to leave.

\-------------

Zoro had been watching the emotions flicker over the cook’s face as he sat, silent, in a cloud of tobacco smoke. At first he didn’t want to see anyone but now the shitty cook had pissed him off. He could have come to offer some comfort but no! Had to get with the abuse and start spoon feeding him his dinner.

Of all the patronising shit.

And now the bastard was going to leave. Zoro had wanted him so badly and now they had a room to themselves (which Sanji had even pointed out!) he was just going to bugger off. What was he thinking? It was like he’d come here just to wave his ass under Zoro’s nose and show him what he couldn’t have anymore. But he didn’t even look like his normal cocky self. Zoro couldn’t figure it out. Damn cook was as moody as a woman and twice as shirty.

_Well I’ve got nothing to fucking lose at least, the bastard’s going to hate me anyway._

“What about dessert?” Zoro asked the retreating figure.

Sanji stopped and turned around slowly. “What do you mean _dessert?_ ” all the implications of the word ringing in his ears.

“I mean dessert, shitty cook. You come to tend a dying man and all you bought was that shitty soup?” Zoro suppressed a smile. At least if he was angry then he wouldn’t leave.

Not that he minded if he left. He didn’t.

Sanji looked at him, eyes narrowed. “If you think that my soup’s so shitty then you won’t want dessert, will you moss-head?” he smirked just a little.

_That’s my shitty cook._

“I guess that depends what it is….” said Zoro, slowly pulling the covers down.

“Well I didn’t bring dessert for you anyway… I bought it for me”

“So do I get to spoon feed it to you then?” Zoro asked, swinging his legs out from under the covers. His eyes travelled slowly up Sanji’s perfectly toned slender body.

“No way would I let someone do something humiliating like that to me!” scoffed Sanji, pulling his little bottle of dark chocolate and candied orange sauce from his shirt pocket. He had prepared it before he had lost his confidence and decided to skulk off. The look on Zoro’s face was making him feel like he owned the place. _Welcome back Mr. Prince!_ “Anyway…. We don’t need a spoon. I think you’ve got the utensils covered.” Sanji licked his lips slowly and gestured with his smoke to the last piece of sheet which was clinging to Zoro’s crotch. Zoro’s rapidly expanding crotch…

Zoro looked down, slowly comprehending what the cook had said. He turned his face back up at the cook giving Sanji that hopelessly sexy ‘tell-me-what-to-do’ look. _Useless Marimo._

“Just lie back and enjoy it, invalid.” Zoro didn’t even bat an eyelid at the last insult, he just tucked his legs back into bed and leaned back letting the sheet just cover him. Sanji wondered if this was the same man that used to scream at him for asking him to pass the salt.

Sanji slowly undid the lid on the bottle and poured some sauce into his cupped hand to warm it.

Zoro looked up at him through half-closed eyes. If this was what happened when he got injured he would have to let it happen more often…. He watched the cook pouring a delicious smelling liquid into his hands. He had no idea what it was but he thought he could figure out what it was for. Oh _yes._ His body ached for the blonde; it literally ached with desire to feel those soft pink lips, to taste his sweet skin again…

Sanji licked his lips and stared at Zoro’s hard brown body.

“So I get to touch you this time?” Sanji laughed. Partly to rib Zoro and partly to cover his own embarrassment. It was all a bit different when he wasn’t drunk and already horny as. Looking at Zoro was helping that though, as the final nerves left him he could feel the heat rising in the pit of his stomach.

“You can do more than touch me….” Zoro stretched back and ran his fingers lightly down his chest until they hit the bulky bandage.

Sanji watched the heavy scared fingers trail down the perfectly defined pectoral muscles and lost his inhibitions. He walked over to the bed and knelt down pouring chocolate sauce onto Zoro’s chest.

“I thought that was for…” Zoro looked a bit disappointed.

Sanji smiled down at him and then leaned in to kiss him deeply. They kissed gently at first and then with more desperation. Sanji felt his legs turn to jelly and his pants were suddenly way too tight. He broke away from the kiss and reminded himself that he was going to win this. He was not going to just rip off his clothes and impale himself on Zoro’s cock.

_Not yet anyway._

“Just wait a minute you greedy pig,” he said still nipping at Zoro’s lips and feeling the hard stubble against his soft skin. Zoro mumbled something but Sanji couldn’t hear him. He could smell the hot warmth of Zoro’s body. The musk of his pheromones was overpowering…

He was only just starting to admit to himself how desperate he had been to taste Zoro’s flesh. To bury his face in the swordsman’s hot skin and just kiss him from head to toe. To feel the swordsman’s lips on his, on his body, on his cock… To have the rough arms around him, the hard body inside him.

He let his lips trail down over Zoro’s jaw and kissed his neck as he leant over the bed. Zoro swept his arm out from under the covers and squeezed Sanji’s ass, hard. Sanji responded by licking the chocolate from Zoro’s closest nipple and then biting it. Zoro drew a sharp breath. He tasted just as good as Sanji knew he would. He would never drink black coffee without getting a hard on ever again…

\------------------


	5. Cherry on Top

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: SMUT. All the smut.

The Going Merry floated gracefully through the unpredictable waters of the Grand Line. It was a sunny day with a stiff breeze, perfect sailing weather. Robin sun-baked while reading a text on a curious ancient culture that worshipped the earth. They had believed that it was their ancient ancestor who had granted them all the gift of life. A common theme but still very interesting.

Usopp was repairing the galley door. Again. For some reason it seemed to be copping more than its usual share of the daily demolition. Nami was charting the currents around the reef they had passed when Zoro steered them off course. She lifted her pen from the page to fume - it wouldn’t do to mark the page, good paper was expensive. All he had to do was go in a straight line! Stupid lazy good for nothing…

Luffy was teaching Chopper how to turn somersaults. They were bouncing around bowling over anything that got in their path. Their delighted giggles echoed from one end of the ship to the other.

The swordsman and the cook were busy.

\--------

Sanji let his lips trail slowly down over the hardening brown nipple. Zoro sighed and let his head fall back, he didn’t know why the cook wanted him now of all times but he didn’t care. He just wanted to let the feeling wash over him. The sweet smell of chocolate, the hot lips exploring his chest, the taste of Sanji’s smoky kiss lingering on his lips…

Sanji nibbled the now-clean nipple and then raised his head and drank in the sight of Zoro. His dark skin smeared with chocolate, his head thrown back. Sanji bet he was naked underneath the covers.

He had planned to do something very special this time around … especially after that housewife comment. Bastard Marimo. Now that the idiot had got himself hurt though, Sanji felt like he should go a little easy on Zoro. Just a little. It might be hard to explain it to Chopper if Zoro burst his stitches. Next time though Sanji was going to show him how to really wear the pants; and he _couldn’t wait._

He couldn’t wait to see the look on Zoro’s face when he slid his first finger inside him and hit that one spot that would make him quiver and melt into a puddle of ecstasy …but for now he would have to make do with his strong hands, sharp teeth and hard body.

Sanji realised as he licked up a drop of chocolate from the corner of his mouth that he didn’t even mind. After watching Zoro fight, his body moving so fast it became a single whirling blade... After seeing him covered in blood and sweat and hearing him bellow for more… It was pointless pretending he didn’t want the hot desperation of the swordsman inside him. He wanted it _more than ever._

The combination of the rich chocolate and Zoro’s hot salty skin was intoxicating. Sanji slowly followed the defined line of muscle with his tongue licking away the chocolate as he slid further down. His hands ran lightly over the thick bandages covering Zoro’s stomach. He wished that they weren’t there. He wanted to kiss from the swordsman’s nipples, slowly sinking deeper and letting his tongue make a hot wet trail all the way down…

Instead he let his fingers travel slowly over the rough cloth, down further and further… Now he could tell that Zoro was naked underneath the sheet. He could see the clear shape of his enthusiasm straining against the covers. Damn Marimo had no sense of modesty. Sanji could feel where the bandage stopped, his fingers hovered, teasing and then plunged down, skipping nimbly over Zoro’s hips and thighs. Sanji looked up again to peer into the swordsman’s face. He wasn’t even looking! At first Sanji was a bit miffed but then he saw the smile.

He slowly pulled the covers away and revealed even more of Zoro. The sheet snagged on his impressive erection and Sanji had to use both hands to free the material. He let it trail slowly over Zoro’s cock, applying just enough force to rub it gently. Sanji slid one hand under the sheet and then drew it slowly back up the inside of the swordsman’s thigh. He had to remind himself the whole way that he was going to be good.

_This time._ The corner of his mouth twitched with a smile.

_Oh Zoro, the things I am going to do to you…_

Sanji slowly drew the sheet all the way back and then plucked the cigarette from his lips and put it out. He stayed like this for a minute drinking in the sight. Zoro lying helpless, hot and sticky. The swordsman’s eyes opened slowly; he took in Sanji’s evil grin, his own newly discovered nudity and the bottle of chocolate sauce which had reappeared magically in the cooks hands. One corner of his mouth curled in anticipation and he stretched his body out making the muscles ripple gently under the skin.

Sanji pulled a pastry brush from his suit pocket and dipped the brush into the bottle. He was going to make Zoro scream out his name. He was going to make him _beg_ for more.

And just in case that wasn’t enough for that silly sexy brute… he was going to make him _like it._

The first light, teasing brush strokes were rewarded with a little gasp. Just a gentle in-breath and a tiny jerk of the hips. He could feel Zoro tensing with lust and suppressed power. He remembered what it was like to have that power hard inside him. It made his heart skip a beat as he leaned down and took Zoro greedily in his mouth.

The rich smell of Zoro’s sex and the sweet taste of oranges filled his senses. He drank it in as he took Zoro deep. The swordsman’s hips twitched again but he didn’t cry out. Sanji slowly slid his lips up, firm but gentle. Just enough pressure to drive Zoro wild. He released Zoro and slowly licked the last drops of chocolate from him then let his tongue slide slowly down again, sucking and teasing and stroking as he did.

One rough hand landed on the top of his head and he braced himself for the gag reflex to kick in. He’d had his head pushed down by men before and he didn’t like it. To his surprise, the rough fingers slid down the side of his face, stroking his cheek and then tucking his hair behind his ear. He glanced up at swordsman in surprise; Zoro was watching him and smiling.

“I wanna see your face,” he said simply.

Sanji flicked his tongue expertly and enjoyed the feeling of Zoro wriggling in pleasure beneath him. He could feel the heat pouring from Zoro’s body, he was as hard as his beloved katana but the bastard wouldn’t make a sound. He swallowed the swordsman deeply and released him. Zoro’s hand stroked his face again, caressing his skin softly. The fingers lingered on throat, then collar bone and lastly his shirt buttons. Zoro was craning over trying to get his shirt off, his fingers fumbled and he began to just pop them. Sanji looked down with a mixture of excitement and horror as the top button of his second favourite shirt flew off into the ether.

He briefly considered giving Mr. Marimo a little talk about how to treat clothes… But the sight of Zoro naked, looking at him like he was so frustrated he was about to pull Wadou out and cut all Sanji’s clothes off with one slice… Well, it changed the cook’s mind.

He stood up slowly, freeing himself from Zoro’s grasp.

“You want these off?” he asked, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

Zoro nodded, his arms were still outstretched. Sanji took off his shoes and then his socks, then his jacket.

“Better?” he asked. In reply Zoro kicked the last covers off his feet and stood up in all his naked glory and strode determinedly towards him. _He’s going to do it. He’s going to tear the clothes clean off my body!_

Sanji lifted one foot and put it square up against Zoro’s chest.

“Sit back down Marimo,” he said firmly.

“Take your clothes off,” Zoro said back. His dark eyes flashed with heat. Sanji smirked. Maybe he didn’t need to go easy of him after all. But now he was in _the mood_. He leaned some more weight into the foot which was between him and Zoro and shoved him neatly back into bed. Then he laughed.

“Ok ok. Shit, you’re impatient!” He slowly undid the buttons of his shirt, loosened his tie and dropped his pants. He flicked them expertly onto the back of the chair and then slid off his shirt and tie. No underpants. It was a useful habit and he always planned ahead.

“I am. _Come here_.”

Sanji strolled over to the bed and then climbed down next to Zoro. He stretched out his long limbs and wrapped the swordsman up in them. Zoro turned and wrapped his arms around Sanji, pulling the cook on top of him.

“No; _here_ ,” he said. Sanji could feel Zoro pressing hard against him. He realised again just how much he did want it this way. He could still smell Zoro’s blood and sweat. Zoro’s strength pressing in on him. He felt an ache building between his legs. What was he thinking? Chocolate sauce was all wrong. Zoro was all steel, sweat and muscle. You’d be better off with gravy really… He gasped as Zoro bucked his hips, grinding them together. Then he cursed himself. Zoro was going to make all the noise today.

“So?” Sanji said sitting up straight above Zoro.

“Get it,” the swordsman said. _So romantic, Jeez._ Sanji got up and filled one cupped hand with lube. He rubbed it slowly on Zoro’s cock looking the swordsman deep in the eyes as he did it. Zoro bought one hand down onto the cook’s and held it firm. Then the swordsman reached his oiled hand down between Sanji’s legs and rubbed him softly before tempting him with just one finger.

“Come up here,” Zoro said. Sanji didn’t know what he meant at first but when strong calloused hands gripped his hips pulled him close, he soon found out. The heat of Zoro’s mouth on Sanji’s cock was so sudden that he moaned out loud. Zoro circled his fingers around and sucked harder; he wanted more of that sexy noise. He wanted Sanji to feel the same need that he felt. The same fierce desire.

Sanji moaned again as deft fingers caressed and probed; he didn’t care if he made too much noise. It felt so good. How did the bastard get so good so quick?

“You like that?” Zoro asked perfectly clearly, despite having a very full mouth.

Sanji just whimpered. Then he thought of Zoro calling out his name and took a deep breath. He ruffled the green hair and tried to keep the trembling out of his voice.

“Lie down,” he said. Zoro slowly slid his lips off Sanji and lay back. Sanji settled back down onto Zoro feeling the slick oil between them. Zoro pressed into him hard, they’d only fucked once and he already knew the exact right angle. He wriggled just a little and smiled as the cooks eyes rolled back in delight. Zoro pulled his shoulders down for a deep kiss and they wriggled together. Chest pressing chest, arms wrapped around each other. Sanji didn’t know how it happened but they slowly slid together. He could feel Zoro push into him slow and smooth. He let the warmth of Zoro fill him and then sat up straight, gasping with pleasure.

Zoro’s hands reached up to his shoulders again to pull him down into a desperate kiss.

Sanji resisted, twisting his hips and squeezing Zoro hard. They both closed their eyes involuntarily, just for second.

“Don’t you want to look at me?” Sanji asked as he sat high above the swordsman, trailing one finger around his nipple as he slowly pulled his hips forward.

Zoro opened his eyes and looked up at the blonde as he stretched his perfect, pale body. His broad shoulders tapering into slender waist and deadly legs... He slowly lifted his hips, rubbing his chest and then stroked himself as he sunk back down. Zoro finally moaned. He closed his hands down on Sanji’s beautiful hips and pulled them hard together. Sanji rocked and moaned and Zoro closed one hand down on the blonde’s throbbing cock.

Zoro could feel the warmth closing in around him. His grip on the cook tightened… his hard cock in one hand and his pointy hip under soft, soft skin in the other. Zoro held him bucking hard and bit his lip until the blood ran. Sanji moaned louder and louder his breath starting to come in ragged gasps. Zoro looked up at him, he was flushed and sweaty and his hair flew out in all directions as he writhed and gasped and struggled to stay in control.

The sight was _incredible._

Sanji leaned forward and grabbed Zoro’s shoulders, his legs spread wide as he sunk into bliss. He heard Zoro moan as he thrust back in reply. Sanji lowered his head, leaning forward so far that he nearly lost Zoro completely before he bit the swordsman’s nipple and ground them together. Zoro’s hands closed down on his ass and he moaned loudly, he pulled the cook down hard then again harder. Sanji bit the swordsman’s throat and heard his moan turn into a growl of “fuck… oh fuck…”. He was close.

Sanji lifted his head from Zoro’s throat and gasped into his ear “Say my name…” Zoro’s body kept writhing as he bucked and twisted and rammed himself home. Sanji felt the building heat of orgasm rise in his belly. He gripped Zoro’s shoulders even harder and bit into Zoro’s throat, holding his cock tight inside and feeling every little bump. He could feel Zoro fighting to keep his rhythm… starting to lose control. He lifted himself high and let Zoro see his whole body writhing as they fucked. Zoro’s fingers raked down his back and his growl became jagged and guttural. Sanji felt him throbbing hot inside. He pinned the swordsman down below him, riding him hard as he came. Zoro’s head snapped back and sweat ran down his sticky chest.

The feeling of heat and force as Zoro erupted inside him sent Sanji over the edge. As Zoro thrust, shuddering, into him Sanji’s moans got softer and more desperate. Zoro squeezed his cock hard and then felt Sanji coming deep inside. He arched his back as the final waves overtook him. With cherry red lips and broken gasps he collapsed onto Zoro’s chest. The swordsman looked out over the halo of blonde hair and considered the sticky mess between them.

Silently, he conceded defeat.

\------------

Zoro lay in bed and stared out the window. He was bored. Chopper had said three days without training. When he had complained, Chopper said that if it were anyone else and it would have been a month so he could just rest up or Nami might have something to say about it. Using her as a threat! As if she could make him do anything.

Ok well, she could be a little scary at times.

He felt like he had been lying in bed for a week already. It had only been two days. He took some consolation that the sheets still smelled like Sanji and chocolate sauce but even sniffing the bedding got boring after a few hours. He’d told Chopper he wanted to do something useful but the furry Doctor would not even let him sit in the galley and peel spuds. He thought if he had nothing to do he could at least spend his time watching those nimble fingers at work but no. He had to stay in bed.

At least Sanji would be there soon with his lunch.

No _dessert_ today though. Nami had roped the cook into doing some stupid chores for the afternoon. The idea of Sanji getting bossed hopelessly around by that drill sergeant of a woman would have made him laugh if it wasn’t interfering with his sex life. It was curious actually. He’d never really had a regular sex life before. Not that twice was really regular but Sanji seemed pretty happy so…

He couldn’t get too comfortable though. Didn’t want to end up relying on the shitty cook. Too likely to just run off after a piece of skirt. Like this afternoon, for example. Zoro grumbled and stared out the window some more. Dart board head better have made something good.

He must have drifted off because the next thing he knew there was a soft smoky haze and a voice calling out to him from beyond a dream.

“OI! I said LUNCH.”

His vision cleared slowly. Sanji was sitting by the bed shoving a covered plate towards him. He sat up groggily and accepted the offering.

“What did Chopper say?” Sanji asked, putting his feet up and lighting a cigarette.

“I’ll live.”

“No additional damage done then?” Sanji smirked.

“Nope. Bandages were a little loose …and he said I’m a messy eater.” Zoro smirked back. He thought this would be more awkward but somehow it felt like it always had.

Sanji looked at him intently. What? He thought that was funny.

“Aren’t you going to look at your food you ungrateful shit?”

Zoro looked down at the plate. _Sure. Whatever._ He pulled the lid off and revealed a riot of green, red and white. A perfect geometric masterpiece of red blooms and green swirls.

“Ummm… what is it?” Zoro asked.

“It’s a salad with cold meat. That simple enough language for you?” Sanji looked grumpy but then again, he always looked grumpy to Zoro. Well, almost always.

Zoro picked up some meat with his fingers and tried it. Sanji cringed towards the chopsticks he had bought in and then gave up. The gentle spices rolled over Zoro’s tongue and the rich flavour of the red meat filled his mouth. His eyes widened in surprise and delight.

“It’s _good_ ,” he mumbled between mouthfuls.

“I call it ‘Ode to a green headed idiot who almost got killed yesterday’,” Sanji looked at him with one piercing blue eye.

_What?_

Zoro kept eating. It really was good.

“What happened to you with those marines?”

Zoro kept eating.

“What happened to you with that woman?”

Sanji gave Zoro one of his best well-whatever-I-don’t-give-a-fuck stares and took a deep breath of smoke.

Zoro cleared his throat. Even though he had thought about it and it seemed like this was the time, he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want this to be a bleeding heart story. He didn’t want Sanji’s sympathy, he wanted his strength.

“She looks like the girl I trained with when I was young. I can’t fight her.” He looked at his calloused hands. Hands calloused from years of wielding katanas until they were like limbs. He couldn’t believe that this memory alone could make him so weak.

But he would overcome it. He would be the best.

Sanji just sat quietly smoking and taking it in. Zoro didn’t feel like he was going to storm off. That was reassuring, at least.

“I might kill her. I can hit her with the back of my blades but it still might…” he trailed off.

“So what are you going to do about it?” Sanji looked him deep in the eyes; his own all steely blue determination.

“I was serious before,” Zoro said. Sanji looked confused.

“I want you to teach me. Teach me how to fight better without a weapon.”

Sanji’s face slowly went from confusion to surprise and then finally all the way out to pride.

Zoro’s dark eyes narrowed as he thought of his goal. “I want you to make me stronger,” he said.

\---------------------


	6. Knuckle Sandwich

The ink bottles rattled together on Nami’s desk. They had been jumping around like that for at least an hour. She’d ignored it at first thinking that it was Luffy and Chopper being their usual enthusiastic selves. Now that it had gone on for this long she realised her mistake. Luffy didn’t have the attention span for this kind of sustained annoyance. That could only mean one thing.

_Idiot trouble._

She put down her pen and scowled. How was she meant to map out all of the Grand Line with those testosterone-fuelled morons storming around permanently destroying the ship? If they were so powerful, why did she have to constantly mother them and keep them out of trouble?

It was all too annoying for words.

She shoved her chair away from her desk and marched outside into the chill breeze. Robin leaned against the railing, quietly digesting the rampaging set of limbs that rolled across the deck.

As predicted, Zoro and Sanji were at it again.

Nami stood there for a minute and tried not to tear her hair out. As her breathing slowed, in the back of her mind she realised that there was something different. Something… wrong.

She let her eyes scan the ship and did a mental checklist. Luffy was standing on the deck mouth open pointing at the fighting pair - check. Usopp and Chopper were hiding behind their Captain, eyes boggling - check. Robin was just leaning back with that Mona Lisa smile on her face - check and check. All normal. All accounted for.

What was it then? She checked the weather and made sure the Log Pose was pointing where it should be - all good. Wind direction unchanged… No signs of a storm…

So what was it?

She closed her eyes and let it all run through her head in no particular order. The thumping of boot on boot made it hard to concentrate, plus Luffy’s whoops of joy… Suddenly Nami realised. It wasn’t what was there, it was what was missing. There were no screams of abuse passing between the cook and the swordsman. Just the sound of blow after heavy blow.

The idiots were _serious_ this time. They were finally going to kill each other. She knew that it had to happen someday. They were just both so damn full of themselves! She wondered for a minute if she should just let them do it. It would certainly be easier to concentrate… Eventually her sense of duty won through.

If anyone was going to beat those morons to death, it would be HER.

She raced down the stairs taking three at a time and collected both of them at the bottom. Their heads made a satisfactory cracking noise as they clanged together. Usopp and Chopper huddled further into Luffy’s knees.

“N-n-n-ami’s Sc-c-c-cary….” Chopper whispered.

Zoro and Sanji looked up from the deck into the rage-distorted features of the flame haired navigator.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?!” she blazed.

“Hello my avenging angel, did the noisy Marimo disturb you?” Sanji cooed.

Zoro just lounged on the deck, head propped up with one arm, grinning. He knew better than to say anything but that stupid cook couldn’t help himself.

“IT WASN’T JUST HIM BAKA!” Nami raised one clenched and ink stained fist ready to drive it down into Sanji’s idiot head when she hesitated. They were both just sitting there grinning. They weren’t even trying to strangle each other. They were practically laughing. She got an uneasy feeling right in the pit of her stomach.

What the hell was going on?

She mumbled “Just shut up, ok?” and then hastily stumbled back up the stairs followed by an enthusiastic call of “Hai Nami-schwan!!!”

As she went she mentally prepared herself.

With the way things were going it was likely that the next day the sun would not rise, Chopper would take a compliment with grace and Luffy would proclaim that he was becoming a vegetarian.

It was going to be a trying week.

\-----------

“Oi! An island! I can see land!” Usopp called out from the crow’s nest. It was about time too. After their hasty retreat from the last island, the cook hadn’t been able to restock. Now they had run out of red meat. Sanji had used the last making Zoro’s special lunch. He didn’t want to admit it to the crude swordsman but he had put his heart and soul into that damned food. Stupid Marimo probably hadn’t even noticed. The consequences of his favouritism were clear to see though... Luffy was beginning to follow Chopper around with glazed eyes, drooling.

They needed meat. _Fast._

Sanji rolled up his sleeves and took in the view. Nami was sitting in her deck chair barking orders in a skimpy blue bikini. A Summer Island. His favourite.

He couldn’t wait to get his feet back onto dry land. Life on the ocean was wonderful but he was all about new food and flavours and practically all he had prepared for the last week was fish. Fish was great but the smell of it was even in his hair and he was sick of it. Plus, being out in the open meant that he and Zoro would have room to _really_ spar.

Yesterday was the first day that Zoro had been allowed to train and they had taken full advantage. Even though Zoro hadn’t really done very much leg work in his previous training, he was learning quickly. Sanji had to admire the swordsman; he really was a dedicated student.

Sanji wondered what he could get away with making Zoro do in the name of training. It was Zoro’s weak spot after all. He could probably get him to do practically anything... With Chopper watching his patient’s every move though, there hadn’t been any time for fun. Sanji knew that the excitement of a new island was just what they needed. Lots of room, lots of distractions for the others and lots of hotels....

Sanji smirked. He could finally show that swordsman what he was really made of. In more ways than one. He wondered what Zoro was doing. He was meant to come to breakfast an hour ago but was nowhere to be seen. Reluctantly, Sanji drew his eyes away from the glorious heaving chest and went to find the idiot swordsman. He pondered as he strolled. Maybe he should be more affectionate considering he was Zoro’s first male lover... Poor man might get a complex. He grinned to himself as he considered Zoro’s version of affection. Ok then, the _sexy_ idiot swordsman. Much better.

When Sanji strolled in to the men’s sleeping quarters Zoro was just getting dressed. Lazy bastard had just slept in. His eyes were still puffy from sleep and his hair was all flat. Sanji hovered at the door happily perving. Zoro always looked his best all ruffled and unkempt. Happy until he realised what Zoro was doing, that is. When he did, he was horrified.

“What exactly is _that?_ ” he asked, waving his foot in the general direction of the offending article.

“It’s a shirt.”

“Uh-uh. It’s a travesty against fashion is what it is.”

Zoro looked unimpressed.

“You wear this stuff. Why can’t I?” he grumbled, staring accusingly at Sanji’s outfit.

The cook had expected him to just grunt or ignore him but Zoro had been quite receptive to his opinions lately. Sanji congratulated himself silently on his sexual prowess. Zoro was not tamed – he was too much of a cave man for that to be possible - but the bastard actually listened to him now.

_Sometimes._

It was certainly better than it used to be – Zoro alleviating the boredom of ship life by thinking up new and interesting ways to give the cook the shits. He never would have admitted it of course, too busy slouching around being generally disinterested. The way to a man’s heart wasn’t just his stomach it seemed...

Sanji looked at the irate man scowling up at him. His dark simmering eyes, his broad proud brow, his strong defined jaw, his dark muscled body…

… his neon blue flowery shirt.

It was just. _So. Wrong._

“Wear this,” he said, throwing a dark blue singlet at Zoro’s head. Sanji picked it because it showed the swordsman’s broad strong shoulders and was tight against his rippling muscle. It was the wrong colour for Zoro, any idiot could see that. Well, except the aforementioned... but it would do. Anything was better than _flowers._

Zoro scowled and tore the obnoxiously bright shirt off before pulling the singlet over his head with a grunt ….backwards. Sanji grinned. Stuff it. He could stay like that.

“We’re about to dock. You want to do some training in the open today?” the blonde asked nonchalantly. Suddenly the swordsman was in front of him, his face only millimetres from the hot tip of Sanji’s smoke.

“ _Do I ever_ ,” he growled; his lips curling in a menacing smile of lust and danger.

\------------

The sun streamed down on the meadow and butterflies hovered in the scattered wildflowers. Birds called and a soft breeze sighed through the surrounding forests, bringing with it the smell of moss and ferny glades. To the swordsman and the cook, it might as well have been midnight.

Sanji kicked his shoes off and cracked his toes in the grass. He looked over at Zoro with an expression halfway between indulgence and murder. Zoro had been thinking about how he’d approach this. Now that they had room to move - and no katanas - Sanji would have the advantage. Just because he wanted to be taught by the cook, didn’t mean he wanted to give the bastard the satisfaction of an easy fight.

He sized Sanji up with a practiced eye. It was more out of habit than anything else. He’d done it a thousand times when they’d sparred, tiffed and outright fought over the time that they’d known each other. But now he had something he never had before. Now he had a secret weapon. He knew what Sanji _liked._

He let his eyes roll up over the bare feet, long strong legs and rolled up shirt sleeves of the cook. Zoro had taken his shirt off. It was hot and he was serious. Sanji hadn’t even put out his damn cigarette. _I’m going to make sure you regret that._

Zoro spread his arms out and steadied himself, he had a little thing he had been meaning to try in a fist fight for a while. Now that they had all this room, well, perfect opportunity. He didn’t have to worry about the ship, he didn’t have to worry about Nami making his permanent hangover worse with her banshee impression and he certainly didn’t have to worry about Sanji.

That was why he liked him.

He tensed his body slowly, storing the strength up in his shoulders and thighs. He felt the grass between his toes and focussed all the weight of his body down into the earth. He wanted maximum force behind this. He met the steely eyes of the cook as he took his stance. He was still smoking away and viewing Zoro’s preparations with a smug grin.

_Soon wipe that off you._

Zoro pushed off the ground and launched himself cleanly into the air. He touched his left foot down and used his toes to push off, changing his angle of attack mid-stride. He focussed all his power, all his pent up aggression into a single blow. He whipped through the air, the force building as he turned into the hit. Ankles, then knees, hips, shoulders and fist - like a whip crack - last of all. Suddenly an elegant long leg was hurtling towards his head.

He tried to dodge but the sheer force of his forward momentum bought him slamming into the cook’s foot. Sanji swept his leg around in a steady arc collecting Zoro’s face neatly before the swordsman could jump back. He hit the dirt with a thud and rolled back up into his stance.

Sanji stretched out his shoulders and took a puff on his smoke.

“That’s one point to me, baka.”

_Smug bastard. Well, I’m just getting warmed up._

All he had to do was get close enough and he’d be fine. Zoro took a couple of steps forward to close the distance between him and the blonde. He had watched him fight so many times; he should know which way he was going to turn by now. He ran full pelt at the cook again, this time watching his feet all the way. Sanji watched his approach too and turned to stand side on. Good.

Zoro pushed off the ground and twisted in the air. This time he was prepared for the hit. He crossed his arms mid-leap and pushed his upper body off Sanji’s powerful side kick, letting the force take him up and over the cook. He landed behind the blonde and wrapped him up in a powerful embrace. _Got you now._

Unfortunately Sanji just kept on turning through the kick. First thing Zoro knew, he was looking Sanji directly in the eye. That eerie single clear blue eye. Second thing he knew, there was a knee in front of his chin. Then there was just a powerful crushing sensation as all the air left his lungs and he hit the dirt again, sending up a cloud of dust from the shock wave. The cook was taking him seriously. He could tell what sort of damage that kick would have done to any normal person. Sanji smirked down at him.

“Two points.”

The bastard was just too flexible. Not that Zoro minded; he had spent all morning while they were getting supplies considering the pleasant consequences of having a bed fellow that could be tied up like a pretzel… But none of that was helping his chances now.

Zoro felt a tickle and wiped his chin. There was blood on his hands. He must have split his lip again. He lapped it up with relish. It seemed that this was a good idea after all. He definitely needed more training. Sanji looked like he was enjoying himself too. The cook finally took his last puff and ground the cigarette out. Well that was something at least.

Maybe he could try bowling him over again... seemed to work in the galley. True, there hadn’t been much room there for him to get away but surely all his kicking and flipping would be useless once the fight got to the ground. Ground fighting was something Zoro could do. Time to pull out that little something special.

He slowly rose off the grass, pausing to admire the dent he had made when he landed. He shook all the tension out of his muscles and then squared up against the blonde again. He was really starting to get in the mood for a good fight. Not to mention the heat that it would add to their planned night together. He indulged himself for just a second by rolling his eyes up the cook once more. Nice. _Very nice._

Zoro pushed his toes deeper into the dirt. He thought about calling the attack but he didn’t want to make a fuss if it didn’t work. Sanji would laugh his arse off if he starting shouting about no sword style and then copped a mouthful of dirt.

Not that he cared what the shitty cook thought.

Well, maybe a tiny bit.

He sprung towards Sanji and tucked his shoulder down into a combat roll. Then he used the momentum of the roll to launch up off the ground with a powerful kick, taking him clean over Sanji’s defensive sweep. Sanji’s twisting body would give him only a second to make his move before the other half of the spinning kick sent him hurtling. He corkscrewed in the air and heard the words in his mind. _Swordless Style, Hunters Pride!_ He formed his body into a single hard line of upwards rushing muscle as he hit Sanji hard in the middle of the chest with two flat palms - one hit.

The momentum meant that the rest of him was not far behind, he kicked off the blonde hard with both feet using Sanji’s spin to send him twisting above the cook’s head - two hits. He flipped his body powerfully above the surprised cook putting all his force and weight into his feet. This was the finale. He came crashing down with incredible force into the earth, sending a shock wave rumbling out into the forest. Sanji only just managed to hand spring out of the way at the last second. He still hit him a glancing blow, the cook flipped back onto his feet and touched his face gingerly. Luckily, it was all still there. Zoro noted the way Sanji moved to avoid the hit. If he hadn’t launched so high into the air, the cook would be toast.

“Two points for me,” he grinned sadistically. He didn’t want to hurt Sanji but he loved to feel the incredible force of their two powerful bodies coming together. There was something about it that was pure and primal.

“You can’t count that as two - it was all part of the same combo!” Sanji’s eyebrow twitched with indignation.

_Whatever._

Zoro stood patiently and waited for Sanji to finish checking his face for fractures. There weren’t any - Zoro had made sure of that. He liked Sanji’s face. He stood facing the cook once more. He waited.

Sanji stared at him expectantly and then grinned when he realised the swordsman wasn’t coming. Maybe the idiot was learning something after all. Without the katanas his reach was much greater than Zoro’s.

Sanji undid the second button of his shirt and then steeled his lithe body for a bit of acrobatics. Nothing like a trick or two to impress a student. He took a quick step and then flipped from feet to hands. He pushed off the ground and turned sideways in the air, into a cart wheel this time. Now he was pretty much nothing but fists and feet - turning fast towards the swordsman. Zoro stood firm and waited. He waited and then waited just a split second longer.

He dropped his knees just as Sanji hit him, he felt his jaw snap down as the powerful kick left its mark on his still-healing body. But he got what he wanted. Sanji was nice and close. Zoro could smell the tobacco on his breath. In the split second after the hit he reached out and grabbed a handful of cook as he went flying past. Sanji jerked in the air and then their combined momentum sent them both barrelling off into the dirt in a confused mass of limbs. Sanji tried to push off and separate the two of them but Zoro kept a tight hold on him. They twisted in the air together, fighting for dominance even as they fell. Zoro managed to dig a foot into the dirt and pinned Sanji beneath him. He lifted up one fist and held it menacingly in front of the cook’s face. The blonde’s expression went from surprise to indignation.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he growled. Zoro grinned. Operation distract the cook was a complete success. He wiggled the fingers of his other hand against Sanji’s pants and lowered his decoy fist.

“Psychological warfare,” the swordsman said, with obvious glee.

He rubbed gently and caressed, watching the lust chase the frustration across Sanji’s face. He had him pinned nice and firm but Sanji was still struggling against him. Rubbing and wriggling and generally mad as hell. _If he had any idea how much worse he’s making it…_

“Get off me! You can’t do this in a fight! How am I meant to..” Zoro’s heavy kiss silenced him. He made it a strong kiss, slow but forceful. A kiss full of testosterone and burning passion. Finally, the swordsman broke away, grinning at the flustered sexy heap of blonde beneath him.

“What was that? Didn’t hear you…” Zoro drawled.

“I said ‘three points’,” Sanji smirked up at him. Still smug even when he’s pinned to the ground and molested. He was so damn… _sassy._

“So you want to keep going?” Sanji asked, stretching out and accepting his fate. He knew he could roll Zoro off him if he wanted. He could do it in an instant. Right now though, he was pretty sure he was right where he wanted to be. They hadn’t got much training done really but they still had a few days on the island. There’d be time later - when he didn’t have a hot heavy Zoro stroking him and grinding his ass into the cook’s hips.

“Don’t think I could,” Zoro twitched a smile down towards his bulging trousers, “might get too excited and do something …terrible.” His fingers continued the minute ministrations.

Sanji struggled to imagine something terrible that Zoro could do to him that he wouldn’t enjoy. Still struggling, he flipped the startled swordsman onto his back. He nestled between Zoro’s legs and let his body apply lingering pressure to the straining bulge.

“Come on,” he said, lifting himself up and out of the swordsman’s reach with a teasing swing of the hips. “Let’s get back to the bar and meet the others; Luffy has to have gotten in some kind of trouble by now.” Zoro just lay on the grass feeling horny and frustrated. He opened his mouth to protest but Sanji cut him off.

“No. I am not fucking you on the grass in the middle of the country side in the middle of the day.” How had he known he was going to say that? He scowled up at the teasing personification of sex that was leaning over him.

“And don’t look at me like that. I’m not getting any more grass stains on this shirt,” Sanji smiled and dusted the dirt from his butt right in front of Zoro’s face then started to walk back to the village. Zoro lay and sulked. Shitty teasing sexy-ass cook.

“I got us a room with a nice big bed…” Sanji called from the edge of the clearing. Within the space of a second, Zoro had overtaken him and was marching up the path in double time.

“Oi, Marimo.” Zoro hesitated, still bouncing on the balls of his feet, “not that way, baka.” Sanji sighed indulgently.

_Impatient bastard._

\-------------

The walk back had been occupied by a lengthy debate about who had won their spar. It was inevitable really but it had been drawn out ridiculously because of the bet. If Sanji won, then he got to be in charge tonight. If Zoro won, same deal - but that wouldn’t happen now would it? He’d made the bet with Zoro in an attempt to distract him during the fight. Slightly more subtle that Zoro’s version of psychology but not really much. In the end it had probably handicapped him just as badly. The sight of Zoro sweating, shirtless and licking the blood from his rough lips… well, it had been quite distracting. He had also realised, too late, how excited he was about having Zoro at his mercy. He could finally, really take that hard strong body to a new limit…

As they strolled past the last shop fronts before the only decent pub in the place, a familiar sound greeted them.

“Gomu Gomu no pistol!!!”

Zoro looked at Sanji, who looked back at Zoro. The sound of masonry hitting concrete as part of a building collapsed crystallised the single thought in both their minds.

_If Luffy is doing anything that interrupts my night of steamy sex, I’m going to kill him._

\--------------------


	7. Butter Wouldn't Melt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Razor dance” is the name of a song by Richard Thompson. I always thought it was a great metaphor for a skilled sword fight.
> 
> \---xxx---

Sanji took in the scene in front of him. It took a while for his brain to figure it all out. First, there was the huge pile of rubble. It looked like it used to be the front room of the pub, so at least that made some sense. Then, there was the massive man with the shock of flaming orange hair. He was powerfully built with layers of lovingly crafted muscle and bare-chested, except for a wreath of jewelled necklaces. His dark eyes bulged with rage and his broad flat face was a delightful shade of eggplant. He also seemed to be wearing a pleated skirt and beating his chest with what looked like a cat.

That part certainly did not make sense.

Then there was the minor detail of the swarming mass of angry pirates. The street was awash with scowling, screaming and fighting men. Somehow, he had expected that.

Luffy really knew how to make friends.

He paused at the corner and scanned the wreckage for his nakama. Usopp and Chopper were huddled together in the remainder of the front bar. Usopp was shooting and Chopper was hiding behind him, recognisable only by one antler and a segment of hat peeking out from his chosen shield. Robin was standing just outside; she had a good defensive position with her back to the remains of the wall. Clever woman, that one. Several men squirmed at her feet, slowly suffocating as she calmly and effortlessly throttled them.

Luffy was not hard to spot. His arms were wrapped firmly around the towering inferno of chest beating rage. He was on the man’s back and was shouting with delight as the huge pirate tried to prise him off in order, Sanji presumed, to pound the living daylights out of him.

A green and blue blur streaked past him and into the fray. Trust Zoro to just run head first into the action without even figuring out what was going on. For all Sanji knew, Luffy had started it. But then again, he had a duty to protect his nakama and his precious Mellorine… Wait. Where was Nami?

Sanji didn’t stop to think any more. He hurled himself into the swarming mass of men feet first and ploughed his way through the melee towards the bar. She had to be there. She _had_ to be alright.

\-----------------

Zoro only knew one thing: there was a fight and he wasn’t in it

…but that could be fixed.

He leapt around the corner and drew just one katana. No need to get too excited too early. He had cut down three scruffy looking men and punched a gaudy plump lady in the face before he even saw anyone he recognised. Usopp was wedged in the corner of the front room surrounded by very angry pirates. He was trembling and fumbling his ammunition. Zoro could hear Luffy screaming. He hoped that he hadn’t taken out all the tough guys already. It would be just typical of Luffy to start a fight and keep all the fun to himself.

Zoro briefly considered going to see what his Captain was doing - but he sounded like he was having fun, so Usopp came first. He was the weakest after all.

Mumbling a soft curse under his breath, Zoro focussed in on the marksman and made a direct line towards him. A knife appeared in front of him; he put Yubashiri through the palm attached to it and twisted. Another knife hurtled towards him and he deflected it with the end of the blade, turning full circle to take a nice slice out of the man behind him with the pistol. He was not in the mood for pistols today, his damn hip still hurt.

After removing several more weapons and head butting a man who seemed too afraid to just get the hell out his way, Zoro finally got to Usopp.

“Oh Z-z-z-zoro! I have everything under control!” he squeaked.

Chopper promptly disengaged himself from Usopp’s knees and attached himself to Zoro’s face.

“Hey, I can’t see…” the swordsman grumbled, taking a backwards swipe at some bar wench behind him who was trying to knock him out with a vase. “Get off me!” He tried to prise the timid Doctor off his face with one hand but his grip was too strong.

“Damn it, Chopper!” He sheathed his katana and ripped the furry tyke off him. Usopp was cowering behind Zoro and taking pot shots at anyone who came close. The swordsman put Chopper down behind him and drew two katanas this time; Yubashiri in his left hand and the bloody Sandai Kitetsu in his right. If he kept going with just one all the fun would be over by the time he got back out to Luffy.

No way was he going to let that happen.

He undid his bandana and tied it over his head.

He closed his dark eyes and focussed on the weight of the blades in his hands. He felt their tempered steel arc out from his body - as much a part of him as an arm or a leg. He took a deep, calming breath and drew his arms up in front of him. His whole world narrowed to the single point where those blades crossed.

He slowly opened his eyes.

\---------------

Sanji’s instincts told him he was headed in the right direction. He could almost smell the sweet waft of Nami’s Tropical Sunset perfume. He skirted around the pile of rubble, over the last loose stones and up into the remains of the front room. He barely even had to hurt anyone. Zoro had cleared him a path. He went straight to the bar; there were a knot of pirates in front of it thumping each other randomly. Looked like a typical bar fight.

He kicked an unexpectedly well-dressed man in the stomach, stomped on a random face or two and vaulted the bar. Behind it, three men were wrestling on the ground. They were fighting over something. Something with flame-red hair that made Sanji’s heart skip a beat. _Nami._

The bastards were fighting over Nami.

Sanji could feel the rage settling down over him. It clouded his brain and then fogged his eyes red before sinking all the way down, to rest heavy in his feet. He whipped his body in a spinning arc; the toe of his shoe sent the closest man crashing hard into the wooden cupboard. Boards broke and splinters flew as the man sagged limply to the ground.

He flicked his eyes across to the second man who was standing up in slow motion. He had a leather vest and pants and long scraggly black hair. He was at least a head taller than Sanji, long and lean. He leered and took a step forwards, his hand reaching out to the rifle leaning on the wall beside him. His expression changed as Sanji put his hands down on the floor boards and started turning - his force and speed increasing with every spin. The sound of bone hitting bone shot out as Sanji connected with the man’s legs. He felt them snap as he moved on through the spin like there was nothing there at all.

He flipped back to his feet and turned towards the last man, a scrawny blonde thing with a single long scar down the side of his face. He was holding Nami down by the wrists, leaning over her and smothering her with his body. Sanji let the rage take him as the red fog rolled in. He kicked the man hard on the shoulder, sweeping him up and away from his Mellorine. The scrawny pirate pulled a metal bar out of nowhere as he turned and drove it up into Sanji’s neck. He gasped as it bit into his throat and cut off his breathing. He lifted his knee and turned into the kick, knocking the bar out into the melee on the other side of the room.

He looked down at the pathetic waste of a black flag beneath him. The man scrambled backwards and jumped over the end of the bar. He edged, backwards across the room away from the street, watching Sanji’s every move. The cook stepped over Nami’s crumpled form, checked she was alright and moved her gently to lean against the bar. Then he stood up slowly, looked the man directly in the eyes and unleashed all his anger into a single downwards rush. The end of the bar blew across the room and showered the retreating figure in kindling.

Sanji stepped through the gap he had created and walked slowly towards his victim. For what this man had done to Nami…

He tapped the end of his shoe on the floor, twice and slowly tensed the muscles from his toes all the way up his body. He closed the gap between them in what seemed like a single step. He arched his back into the kick and rolled his powerful hips around. He felt his foot meet the resistance of cheekbones and then they gave beneath his crushing blow. The man jerked sideways in the air and hit an unlucky fighter in the back and they both went down. Sanji went over to finish him. The man was crumpled and broken on the floor, already out cold. _Bastard._ Sanji wiped the blood off his shoe onto the pirate’s shirt and then went to get Nami. She’d better be ok.

She was still huddled against the bench in the bar where Sanji had left her. She stirred slightly and looked up at the cook with her beautiful big eyes and opened up her sensuous soft lips to thank her Prince,

“WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU, YOU COMPLETE IDIOT?!?”

His sweet cherry blossom was screaming at him. He was so busy drooling over the way her adorable face scrunched up when she screamed that it took him a minute to realise… The full weight of the fact pressed down on him. It was awful. It was unthinkable. It was horrible.

She was wearing _a t-shirt._ No more bikini time for Sanji.

And Luffy had destroyed the hotel, so he probably wasn’t going to get laid.

_What a fucking day._

“Oh sweet vision of loveliness, I am so sorry to..” he broke off when Nami punched him in the stomach. She was fully dressed, unscathed and fighting fit.

Thank Kami for that.

\------------

Zoro moved through the fight like water. Along the path of least resistance, he twisted his body in the air and whirled like dust on the breeze. He felt, more than saw, the men falling away from him as his blades twirled in their razor dance. He cleaved the air and sent out ripples and waves. Sometimes men managed to hold their ground for a second but then he moved through them like so much rain.

He could feel the power of the two men fighting drawing him forward. Shock waves rolled out as they exchanged hits and the ground rumbled with the force. Pieces of plaster and rock flew through the air as bodies were slammed into the street.

Now _this_ was a fight.

Luffy was on the ground and there was a huge warrior towering above him …a warrior with a broadsword, a hunting kilt and flame red hair. Zoro flicked the blood from his blades and returned the cursed sword to its sheath. It wouldn’t do to have it disobey him against someone like this. He recognised this man.

Luffy twisted his feet together and sent them stretching into the distance. Zoro paused to watch; he knew just what was coming… The feet reached their furthest point and skyrocketed back into the shock of bright hair. The pirate grunted as they hit and then grabbed Luffy’s foot and leaned down on the Captain’s throat even harder. He barely moved. Impressive. But then again, this was Black Blood.

Zoro elbowed a man who came too close and took a long look at this man. He was big but he wasn’t that big. He had broad shoulders which he moved in a way that showed he used a sword. He was heavy on the ground so he’d have a lot of force but not much speed. He’d be fun to fight, he looked nice and dangerous. He was a man who was skilled with body and blade; a man who pushed himself to the limit.

Luffy always got all the damn fun.

Zoro turned and scanned what was left of the brawl. There were still at least forty pirates screaming and kicking and shooting each other. He couldn’t see anyone who made his blood rush, though. It just wasn’t his day. Instead, he decided to go and find Sanji. If he couldn’t fuck him, then at least he could watch him fight. Zoro strolled back inside. He was hit in the head by a flying bottle when two men jumped on him together but it didn’t delay him for long. Pretty soon he was lounging on the bar watching Sanji do his thing. The long lithe legs stretched out and annihilated everything they touched. His body bent beyond breaking point and further, his movements fluid but perfectly controlled. He was breathing heavy and his hair was plastered to his face. It looked like something had got him excited. Zoro remembered how he looked arched above him, hips bucking and hair flying as he came…

The swordsman was bought sharply back to reality by a second bottle hitting him in the head. This one was attached to someone though. It broke on impact and Zoro looked across the bar and grabbed the man who was wielding it by the collar. He yanked him forwards off his feet and drew him halfway over the counter.

“ _I’m busy_.”

The man took out a whole row of top shelf when he went down. Zoro felt a bit guilty; what a waste of good booze. The numbers in the bar were going down steadily. Aside from the efforts of Robin, Usopp and Chopper - who had finally come out of hiding and was using his Heavy Point - there was also the huge damage that Luffy’s fight was dealing to the pub and the surrounding area.

Pieces of stone kept falling down and getting knocked out of the walls. Zoro would have found it amusing if it wasn’t for the memory of Sanji moaning hot sweet breaths in his ears. No pub meant no sex. _Damn_ Luffy… He looked back to see what lover-boy was up to. He was hard up against the wall with a knife pressed against his throat. There was a tall dark woman on the end of the knife. She pushed the tip down ever so slightly and a tiny line of crimson ran into Sanji’s collar.

Zoro was behind her before he even knew he’d moved.

“Hey, bitch,” he heard himself say, “you hurt him and I’ll make sure you regret it ‘till your dying breath.”

Zoro’s voice was low and level. Sanji heard the force behind it and it made his skin crawl. He was scared for the lady; he hadn’t hit her because she was a woman. Heck, she was cute in a barbaric sort of way… but it really sounded like Zoro meant it. On the other hand, she should be grateful. It seemed like she wouldn’t have long to regret it at all…

The woman jumped and the tip of the blade hovered away from Sanji’s pale throat for just a second. Zoro’s hands swept from hip to shoulder. He drew Wadou and drove the hilt into her jaw. He dropped his knees at the same time, slamming her with his shoulder and sending her spinning in a giddy pirouette. She lashed out with the knife as she fell, taking a long swipe up Zoro’s arm and drawing blood. He went to jump after her but a long slender hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“Leave her alone,” Sanji wiped the blood from his throat “she’s not going to hurt me.”

The swordsman collected a stray man in a multi-coloured shirt with the back of his blade and turned his back on Sanji to hurl the offensively bright pirate back into the brawl.

“I’m not worried about you getting hurt, idiot,” Zoro said.

Sanji raised a quizzical curly eyebrow. “What, you were just fighting and you got lost?” he scoffed.

Zoro picked up another man and raised his fist up to send him back into the floor. He still didn’t face the cook. “I’m just not going to let anyone else get the pleasure of beating you up. Don’t get so full of yourself,” he said.

“You want to protect me!” Sanji laughed.

Zoro didn’t want to protect Sanji. He knew he didn’t need it. He didn’t even know why he was there. He just was. When he saw the blood, his body just moved on its own. He didn’t want to protect him at all …but he did want to kill the people who had challenged him. How dare they think they were even worthy to soil Sanji’s shoes with their blood?!

“No I damn well don’t shitty-cook!” Zoro dropped the pirate he held suspended in the air with a thump and rounded on Sanji. He twisted the blade in his hand and jammed the blunt side up under the cook’s chin, nearly lifting him off the ground.

He burned his black glare into those clear blue eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes.

“ _Fuck you_ ,” he said, letting his arm drop. He elbowed a pirate stumbling by in the head, knocking him out and then sheathed his katana. He didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t know what else to say.

Sanji huffed and straightened his collar. He marched pointedly past Zoro without so much as a glance and went to help Nami clear out the last few stragglers. He saw Zoro slump against the wall out of the corner of his eyes. Violent bastard was sulking. _Honestly._

He smirked to himself just a little. Idiot Marimo had wanted to protect him. If he hadn’t stopped him, he would have taken that woman’s head right off. He called back over his shoulder, just loud enough for Zoro to hear,

“You know I will.”

\----------------------

Sanji and Nami took care of the last of the pirates who were still in a fighting mood and then went to meet Robin outside. She was sitting watching Luffy fight the big red headed man in the skirt. They were still at it. Half the buildings that faced on to the street had copped some kind of damage. Luffy was bleeding a lot more than he should be and his opponent clearly had a broken leg. Bone was protruding out the side of his knee. Made Sanji wince just looking at it.

Zoro joined them and sat down with a thump. Usopp and Chopper were close behind.

“Flamehair-san is quite a fighter,” Robin observed.

“That’s Black Blood. He’s one of the guys I had on my list to take down. Could never find the bastard,” Zoro said. He undid his bandana and returned it to his arm. No point keeping it on. It was always over too soon.

“Really? He has quite a big bounty doesn’t he?” asked Nami, her eyes lit up with berri signs.

“I guess so,” Zoro replied. No way was he admitting the bastard was worth more than him. He could have dealt with him easy if Luffy hadn’t gotten there first.

Usopp quivered and pointed a trembling finger at the battling pair. “G-g-g-guys… I think we should get out of here…” Zoro followed the quivering digit. Luffy was clinging to a large piece of stone facing his opponent. He had twined his legs together and extended them out, wrapping them around a boathouse on the other side of the street. Zoro took a second to work out that he was going to do. But only a second.

He leapt to his feet and swept Chopper out of the way as Luffy let out his battle cry. Luffy’s body stayed where it was as his legs contracted. The boathouse lifted up - cracking and creaking as it was ripped from the ground - and arched like a pendulum above them. Hands reached out of the wall behind them and shoved Nami, Sanji and Usopp towards the road as the sky went dark above them.

A wall of stone swung over their heads and slammed down onto the pub. With an almighty roar, the boathouse sheared through the front of the building and walls crumbled and fell. Stone plummeted and the second floor of the pub collapsed. A great low rumble spread from the sky above them to their feet as the stone rained down. The last thing Zoro saw was a proud red face and flame orange hair being hit with a blow that cracked the road right open and blew the roof off every house up and down the street.

\-------------

“So what do we do now?” asked Usopp, rubbing the sizeable lump on his head.

“Find another hotel, marksman-san,” Robin replied, practical as always. Sanji surveyed the damage. At least two thirds of the two storey building had been demolished. He hoped that Luffy hadn’t started it. It looked pretty expensive… he glanced at Nami. She wouldn’t be happy if they had to fork out for repairs. Not happy _at all._

She was sitting on a particularly large piece of masonry and staring at the deep crack in the pavement. Her face clearly reflected her state of mind; she wasn’t happy. Far from it.

“Don’t be sad my cherry blossom! I will fight for you night and day until your savings are replenished, no obstacle will stand in my way my sweet Mellorine!” he fluttered.

“That’s just it.” Nami said, still staring at the pavement.

“What is, my sweet?”

“We don’t have any savings. We’re broke. We spent the last of it booking the rooms in this pub,” she gestured limply at the sagging rubble. As if in reply, a section of the upper floor which had been clinging to the last solid wall finally gave way and deposited a large bed onto the road. Probably the one that Sanji had booked for himself and Zoro. He’d got the ladies a room in a nice hotel, so they’d be fine. The rest of them didn’t need a nice bed; they could just go back to the ship but… but…

_Damn it._

Sanji looked at Zoro, who looked at the bed and then back at the cook. The swordsman took a determined stride forward and smashed Luffy in the back of the head with a closed fist. The rubber-boy crunched into the street with a thud, sending even more dust swirling into the air.

“Awww Zoro… Whaaaaat?” whined the Captain.

Nami looked down into his wide naïve eyes as if she had been beaten to the blow and sighed. Sanji felt a familiar irrepressible urge to coddle her and make everything ok.

“Don’t worry, there has to be ways for a talented bunch like us to make some money in a busy place like this,” he gestured widely, taking in the empty street, the now-abandoned shops and the heap of rubble. Maybe she had a point.

Nami’s eyes travelled over the damage. The pub. The huge crack in the pavement. The bodies. Lastly they came to rest on the humongous flame haired corpse taking up half the street. That guy really had been something. Suddenly her eyes lit up. It was a look that made Sanji’s heart beat faster. Anticipation, admiration and fear all played a part.

“We CAN make money… we just did!” her eyes sparkled.

“What do you mean?” Luffy asked, bewildered.

Nami turned on Zoro, “You said that guy had a bounty right?”

“Right…” said Zoro, looking very uncertain indeed.

“Well, let’s go and collect it! He’s dead isn’t he?” Everyone turned to face her as the implications of her words sunk in. Everyone except Luffy that is, who had gotten up and started rummaging through the rubble for only-Kami-knows-what.

A hand lifted up out of the debris and started to slap the great Black Blood in the face.

“Hmmm. He certainly looks dead,” Robin said flatly. Chopper went over and knelt down beside the man and placed his hoof on his throat.

“He’s not dead but he needs serious medical treatment. I’ll just get my bag,” the dedicated Doctor scuttled off into the rubble. Sanji watched Nami with bated breath. She wasn’t seriously going to suggest…

“The next island has a marine base! We have to go there anyway to set the log for the next island, why don’t we take him in and collect the bounty?!” She smiled triumphantly.

“Oh no no no!” said Usopp “I think I can feel the onset of my deadly I-must-not-go-into-that-marine-base-to-collect-the-bounty disease!” His knees knocked together ever so slightly.

Luffy exclaimed happily from the stone and pulled the remains of the roast he had been eating before the fight out of the dust. He wiped it on his vest and then proceeded to eat it with great gusto. Sanji had to turn away. That man didn’t need a chef, he needed a dumpster. But hey, at least he was enthusiastic.

Robin took it upon herself to point out the fatal flaw in Nami’s plan. “Surely the marines would wish to collect our bounties if we did them the - not inconsiderable - favour of walking into their base?”

Nami would not be dissuaded.

“We don’t need to go in; Zoro can go!” she beamed at the swordsman who shrank visibly. Sanji smiled. Zoro always got the shitty jobs. “He can go in disguise! It’s perfect.”

Zoro opened his mouth, looking like he was going to dispute that claim but Nami shot him a look that would rust steel and he closed it again. At least he knew when it was pointless to argue.

“So what do we do now?” Usopp asked again.

“Well, we go and get some sleep and then tomorrow we head off to collect the bounty.” Nami said, stretching her legs out and getting up. She surveyed the street; it was quite empty of people. No-one had even come to check out the damage, everyone had just moved on to the next pub.

Must be a rough town.

“What about us?” Chopper asked in a tiny voice.

“You go back to the ship,” Nami said, making it very clear that they had no choice in the matter. “Zoro, take our bounty back to the ship. Chopper, make sure he doesn’t wake up; and YOU don’t do anything stupid!” She directed this parting barb at the Captain who chewed noisily and beamed up at her like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.

Back to the ship? Leave tomorrow? But... but... Sanji looked at Zoro. He was scowling fiercely at Luffy and Nami in turns. The vein on his forehead bulged as he struggled to suppress his anger. He looked so cute.

_Damn it again._

“Are you alright, swordsman-san?” Robin asked. Her unreadable expression could have been concern, curiosity or mirth.

Zoro just scowled, hoisted Black Blood over his shoulder and marched off towards the ship. Robin raised an eyebrow at Sanji who shrugged, non-committal. She smiled elusively and then followed Nami’s retreating figure.

“Come on then,” the cook said, affectionately scrubbing their Doctor’s fuzzy head. “Let’s get back to the ship and I’ll make some supper.”

Luffy inserted the remains of the roast into his mouth and pulled out a clean bone which he threw over his shoulder. It hit the corner of the last standing wall of the pub and the hairline fracture running along it became a noticeable crack.

“Let’s go!!!” he cried, full of enthusiasm. He pelted past Sanji singing a song about eating inky octopus. Usopp picked up Chopper and put him on his shoulders and they walked off.

Sanji turned and looked at the building where he had planned to spend a night buried in Zoro’s ass. He sighed.

_Fuck it._

It was going to happen anyway, so he might as well have some meagre satisfaction tonight.

He walked up to the wall and knocked out a single stone block with a well-aimed kick. He lit his cigarette and turned back towards the dock, smiling as he heard the unmistakeable noise of stone on stone as the pub finished its untimely demolition.

\--------------------


	8. My Cup of Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: SMUT. All the smut. Man, I love writing the first switch so much...

Zoro looked out over the ocean. The moon was sitting low on the horizon, just beginning its journey across the clear night sky. It rippled in silver across the waves, gilding them with light. He let the cool breeze and the soft sound of the water soothe his aching head. He had drunk too much over the last couple of days. Not too much to be able to function. Not too much to be able to train. Just _too much._

But not enough.

Not enough to forget the soft smell of tobacco and his hair. Not enough to forget his tight lithe body …and certainly not enough to forget hearing those soft moans hot and desperate on his lips. His body _craved_ the cook. It craved his touch, his smell, his taste. It was like an addiction; fierce and unforgiving. Every time Sanji brushed past him, every time he ate something Sanji had cooked - he could feel his body and taste his lips.

Damn that shitty, sexy cook.

There had just been _no time._ First Luffy destroyed that damn hotel and then that bitch dragged them all out into the middle of the ocean. Ever since then she had been scheming non-stop and insisted that everyone do her evil bidding. All so that she could get some damn bounty. And she had the nerve to suggest that he go into a marine base _in disguise_. Roronoa Zoro was not hiding from anyone.

He gripped the rails and took a deep breath. His head throbbed and his stomach was fighting the rhythm of the boat. He knew it was only a matter of time before his body was satisfied. Shitty cook kept brushing against him and winking. Giving him big blue bedroom eyes and making him burn with unsatisfied lust. He couldn’t even train with him properly. The first time he’d pinned the struggling cook to the deck he was told in no uncertain terms that he would not try anything funny. Nothing was to happen between them until Sanji gave the all clear.

Zoro fumed quietly. The cook was just worried about his precious ladies. Poor sweet flowers wouldn’t want to know what the swordsman did to their precious slave when they weren’t looking.

He knew he only had to wait. He just _couldn’t._

He meditated for hours. He trained until he ached so badly that when he breathed it made him wince. He slept. He slept some more and then when sleep wouldn’t take him; he drank.

He looked up into the night sky. _What the hell am I doing?_ he asked the universe. _I’m not some love sick teenager. I’ll defeat his stupid attitude the same way I’d defeat any obstacle._ He wasn’t going to stand around waiting because Sanji had _issues._ If those shitty women had a problem, then that was fine by him. He would go to the source of all his trouble and get what he wanted. His way. Shitty-cook would soon learn what happened if you teased a man like Zoro.

But first things first.

He tore his eyes away from the rolling waves and went to get some sake.

\-------------------

Sanji was in the galley. Zoro had expected him to be off slaving for Nami. He was surprised to see the glowing end of a cigarette in the dark when he closed the door behind him.

“Oi, love-cook. Enough.”

“Enough what?” A voice floated out from behind the glowing ember.

Zoro’s eyes adjusted to the dark. He could see Sanji’s back; he was standing by the sink. What was he doing hanging around in the dark anyway? The cook put the dish cloth he was holding down and turned around slowly.

“Making me wait and keeping me hanging like this; finish what you started.”

“I told you to wait,” the cook replied.

Zoro swept his eyes up the blonde’s slender body. He grunted in acknowledgement, yes the cook had said that. He took a long stride towards Sanji.

“I said wait, you impatient bastard,” Sanji scowled in annoyance.

Zoro took another stride. He rounded the end of the table and paused, leaning against it. His eyes travelled over the cook’s long legs, his hard body and his soft skin.

“I said leave me alone!” Sanji hissed.

Zoro took one last long stride. He closed the gap between their bodies and put a strong arm around the cook’s slender waist.

“Then why are you here in the dark?” Zoro’s voice was low and level as he buried his face in the soft blonde hair. Sanji grumbled but made no move to pull away.

“You knew I’d come, didn’t you?” Zoro wrapped his other arm around Sanji’s waist and slid his hands slowly down the cook’s back.

“Bugger off,” Sanji said. There was no force behind the words. Zoro let his hands slide slowly down until they both rested on Sanji’s tight ass. He gently rubbed his thumbs in circles, enjoying the feeling of the taught springy muscle under his touch.

“This is what happens to cheeky boys who bite off more than they can chew,” Zoro growled.

He took the cigarette from Sanji’s mouth and put it out. He pulled the cook slowly forwards into his body and planted a rough kiss on his protesting lips. He rubbed his throbbing groin into the cook’s sweet sharp hips and deepened the kiss. Sanji’s hands skirted the bench behind him and cleared a space. Zoro lifted the blonde by the waist and put him up on the counter before moving in between his legs.

“You still want me to leave you alone?” he whispered into the cook’s ear as he pulled those long legs around his waist.

“Shut up.”

Zoro smiled and lifted his hands from the cook and started to undo his shirt buttons. Now that he was sober and uninjured his dexterous fingers made short work of them. In a single breathy kiss he had undone Sanji’s shirt and tie, and was slipping the soft fabric off the cook’s broad shoulders. The warm smell of spices and tobacco surrounded him.

He reached down and removed his haramaki, placing his precious swords on the table behind him. His fingers played across the pale warm skin and he traced a line from Sanji’s pink nipples down to his waist band. He murmured in approval and started to slowly sink to his knees.

He let his hands rest on Sanji’s crotch, stroking gently as he kissed and nibbled his way down the ribbed muscles of Sanji’s stomach. He flicked the fly open with one hand and lifted Sanji up off the bench to pull his pants off. He flung them onto the floor and looked up at Sanji’s naked body.

Except he wasn’t naked at all.

Zoro’s eyes levelled on a small black mountain with pink love hearts all over it. He stared at the boxers like they were a personal insult. Sanji pushed him gently back with his feet and stepped down off the bench. He turned away and slowly pulled his shorts off, bending nearly to the floor to get them over his feet. Zoro sat and took in his perfect pale ass; it was pretty much at eye level. Teasing ero-cook. Sanji turned around and threw his boxers in Zoro’s face. The hot smell of the blonde wafted out of them.

“Better?” Sanji asked, striking a pose.

Zoro growled and stood up, reaching out again. He wanted to lick that pale Adonis from his head to his feet. Sanji lifted one foot and planted it on Zoro’s crotch. He rubbed, just a little.

“Hold on, now you take something off.”

Zoro grinned and ripped his white top off in an instant. His boots hit the floor and his pants followed. In a heartbeat he was completely naked.

“I said _something_ ,” the cook made a face. Zoro looked like he belonged in the Garden of Eden. Damn show off. His muscles gleamed and rippled as he turned in the soft moonlight. Aside from the comic green triangle of his groin, he was perfect. _Perfect._

“Well tough, I’m not putting it back on.” Zoro stepped back into Sanji’s still extended foot, bumping it with his erection. He knelt down until the ankle was level with his shoulder and started to kiss slowly up Sanji’s leg. Sanji leaned back onto the counter and looked down at him. His big blue bedroom eyes widened as Zoro’s fingers crept ahead of his mouth and began to stroke Sanji slowly.

He could taste the sweet salt of Sanji’s skin and he could hear the cook’s breathing getting faster. He let his fingers slide slowly down until they were nestled between the cook’s legs. His kisses travelled higher and faster until his lips lingered over Sanji’s hips and he pulled the cook forwards into his mouth. He still wasn’t used to doing this, it was a weird feeling… but somehow he liked it. The smell of Sanji, the feel of his body, the gentle sway of his hips and his moans… he didn’t care what it took. He just wanted more. He wanted the cook’s whole taut body in his mouth. He wanted to taste _every part of him._

Sanji’s fist found green hair as Zoro trailed his tongue into that soft blonde down. After having a sword in his mouth for so long his gag reflex was pretty much non-existent. He took the cook whole and let his tongue wind in spirals as he pulled his head back.

“Shitty… fucking…” Sanji mumbled into his hand, which he had clamped firmly over his mouth. There was no way he was going to wake Robin and Nami.

Zoro teased Sanji with the tip of his tongue and caressed him with hot breaths. He knew just how this felt and it seemed the cook liked it too. His knuckles were turning white and his legs were firmly wrapped around Zoro’s head. His other hand tightened in Zoro’s hair and pulled him up. Zoro stood slowly, letting his hands linger over every part of that perfect body. His lips found Sanji’s again and the cook’s legs tightened around the swordsman’s waist, pulling them together. The curves of their naked bodies fit perfectly. Sanji whispered in Zoro’s ear,

“Lie down.”

Zoro raised one eyebrow and Sanji winked. The swordsman reluctantly left the cook’s embrace and stretched out on his side on the hard wooden floor. Sanji stroked his toes down the swordsman’s body and rolled him onto his back. He trailed his fingers up Zoro’s legs and pushed them firmly apart. He leaned over the hard brown body and draped himself over it, feeling Zoro’s cock dig into his hips as he wriggled down between the swordsman’s legs. He rolled back and forth gently as he bit Zoro’s nipples and raked his nails down his chest. He knew he liked it, every time he bit Zoro when they fucked the swordsman practically came on the spot.

This time he would have him begging for more.

\----------

Sanji let his fingers slide between them and began to rub Zoro harder. He used his knees to slowly push the swordsman’s legs further apart. Zoro took a deep shuddering breath and reached out to hold onto the table leg. The cook was sure as hell doing something right.

“You want me to suck it, Marimo?” he breathed in Zoro’s ear.

“Do it.” Zoro’s hips went skywards and Sanji found that he suddenly had a cock in his face. So damned impatient …and it made Sanji so _horny_. He left one hand stroking firmly and let the other one support Zoro as he lowered his lips and kissed lightly. Zoro’s hands stroked his chin as he trailed his kisses down and took Zoro in his mouth. He let his hands slide down with his lips, slowly applying more pressure. Zoro moaned softly and started to move with Sanji. The cook let his tongue play with all Zoro’s contours. He started with slow circles and then got faster. As he listened to Zoro’s breathing, he found out what the swordsman liked. Turned out he liked it rough. He had said that though… Sanji wondered what he was going to think…

He let Zoro fill his mouth and sucked him hard as his fingers snuck down and gently rubbed between Zoro’s legs. The swordsman moaned and then froze. His hips landed back on the ground with a thud, crushing Sanji’s fingers.

“Oi, ero-cook, what do you think you’re doing?” he growled. His voice was soft and dangerous. Sanji knew that what he said and did now was going to make or break this.

Sanji leaned forward and rubbed Zoro’s erection with his own.

“Something to remember,” he said, as he let the fingers of his free hand rub all of the sensitive spots he had found with his head buried in Zoro’s crotch.

“Not there,” Zoro said. Sanji kept rubbing Zoro’s erection gently and nipped at his throat. He heard the swordsman’s breath catch. He hadn’t lost him yet.

“Afraid you’ll like it too much?”

“I’m not afraid!” Zoro snapped. His body was still responding to Sanji’s touch though. He was all bluster. Sanji rubbed them together harder and bit down on Zoro’s jugular. The hard body arched towards him and Zoro’s hips lifted just a little.

“If you don’t like it; fine. But don’t say no just because you’re scared,” he started to kiss slowly back down Zoro’s chest. He trailed his fingers down the long scar and twirled them idly in Zoro’s mossy pubic hair. He closed his lips down on Zoro again. He was still hard enough to cut steel. Zoro raised his hips up just a little more. Sanji took a deep mouthful and wriggled his fingers slowly, just on Zoro’s perineum.

The swordsman stiffened just a little and then relaxed as Sanji’s expert lips slid over him. The blonde’s fingers tripped ever so lightly, caressing in gentle circles. He had taken virgins before. They were his _favourite._ He loved to teach them about the pleasures of their own body by showing them just how good it could feel. He knew just what to do to make Zoro squirm in ecstasy and he’d use every damn trick in the book if he had to.

He left his fingers skirting delicately and concentrated on his lips. If he could get Zoro flustered enough, he wouldn’t realise what had hit him until he liked it too much to stop. He licked and sucked and caressed. Zoro’s hands were back stroking his face. He looked up into half-closed dark green eyes. Zoro was watching him work. He twirled his tongue and winked up at him before taking him again even harder. Zoro’s head fell back and he moaned. Sanji let his fingers slide just a little further.

His light touch toyed with Zoro before he slid just one finger inside him. He rolled Zoro’s cock in his mouth and went to find that sweet spot that would make the swordsman go wild. Zoro’s hands were suddenly in his hair and he arched his back, thrusting his hips into Sanji’s face. The cook sucked just a little harder and moved in the same spot again. Zoro nearly choked him in response.

_Found it._

He slowly drew his finger in and out, making sure to brush that place deep inside. Zoro’s breathing came in gasps. Sanji gently put a second finger with the first and pushed them slowly in as he lifted his lips from Zoro’s cock. He wanted to make sure that the idiot was actually having fun and not just trying to be macho. There was no point fucking someone who didn’t _really_ want to be fucked. It wasn’t just rude as hell, it was also no fun.

He looked down at the muscled body, twisting and rocking with the movement of his fingers. Zoro looked up at him and loosened his hands from the soft blonde hair. He put one on Sanji’s cheek and the other on himself,

“ _Don’t stop_.”

Zoro’s voice was thick with lust, he ground his hips into the air and guided Sanji’s other hand down onto his throbbing erection. _Yep. He liked it._

Sanji could taste Zoro hot on his lips. He could feel the strong body writhing against his as he moved his hand gently inside it. He rubbed Zoro’s perineum with his thumb and listened to Zoro’s throaty growls. He didn’t want to stop but there was something he wanted even more.

Something he _needed._

He picked out the bottle from his suit pants pocket, still attending to Zoro with one hand and his willing lips. He rubbed the oil onto his throbbing cock. His whole body shivered at his touch and he knew there was only one thing that would sate it. He lifted his lips and crawled up Zoro’s body,

“I want you,” the blonde whispered, “Now.”

He rested his cock between Zoro’s legs and rubbed gently as he nibbled a line down Zoro’s throat to those sensitive nipples.

Zoro lifted his chin with one calloused hand and kissed Sanji deep. He bit his lips and pulled him down into a hot embrace. Once he’d had his fill of the cook’s lips he released them and lifted his hips again.

“Don’t make me say it,” the swordsman said, as he teased Sanji’s cock and wrapped his legs around the blonde’s hips.

He didn’t need to say it. His sexy expression and his nudging hips said it all. Sanji took a deep breath. _Fuck. This is going to be good._ He let himself slide just a tiny bit and Zoro bucked his hips up to meet him. He didn’t want to hurt the impatient bastard so he needed a position where he was in control. He held Zoro’s legs around his hips and sat up on his knees. Zoro had his eyes closed. Sanji let just one finger slide alongside his cock and tease a path. Zoro moaned and his eyelids fluttered. Sanji pulled him up slowly; he could feel the warmth of the swordsman’s insides. It nearly made him come right then and there.

He pulled Zoro up further and then lowered the swordsman onto him ever so slowly. He knew it could hurt at first if you rushed and Zoro sure as hell wouldn’t say anything if it did hurt, so he’d have to be careful. He felt the heat gradually closing in around him and he had to slow even further. Zoro felt just as good this way. Maybe even better.

_Shit._

He paused to check that Zoro was ok. The swordsman’s face was flushed and his eyes were still closed. He was breathing in gasps. Sanji closed a hand around his cock and stroked to distract him from that first strange sensation. He let the feeling wash over him. Zoro felt like no-one he had ever fucked before. It was like the bastard was even muscled on the inside. Sanji sunk that last little bit with a gasp of pleasure and brushed up against that place that Zoro liked so much.

He paused there, barely moving, waiting for Zoro’s breathing to become more regular, for his eyes to open. The intense dark eyes finally looked up at him. He felt a hard squeeze on his erection that made him moan. Zoro grinned.

“See, not scared,” he squeezed Sanji tight again making waves of pleasure wash over him. Sanji closed his hands down harder, one on Zoro’s hips and the other on his throbbing cock. He pulled himself back and then slowly started swaying his hips into the swordsman. He was kidding himself that he was going easy for Zoro. Truth was he couldn’t have gone faster if he wanted too. Shitty swordsman felt too damn good.

Why had he waited so long?

\---------

Zoro could feel the cook’s warmth filling him. At first he was slow and it was uncomfortable. Zoro wondered if it was really such a good idea after all. What if he decided half-way through that he didn’t like it? He’d never get near the leggy blonde again. After a few minutes, the uncomfortable feeling went away. As Sanji slid into him more and more, it was replaced by lust.

Raw demanding lust.

He moved with Sanji and then against him. He wanted more of this feeling; he wanted all of Sanji at once. He moved faster and tried to get the cook to respond. He could feel Sanji’s strength pounding into him; all the force of their two strong bodies coming together. The feeling was so intense that it made him see stars.

“ _Harder_ ,” he demanded.

Sanji quivered as that one word reached his ears. He slowed down just a little, his hips making neat circles to tease and thrill. He knew just where Zoro wanted him. He held his breath and waited.

“I said harder ero-cook!” Zoro swung his hips hard and squeezed Sanji tight. The swordsman growled as they rocked together. He could feel the force as their bodies collided, there would be bruises tomorrow. They pushed and fought together, struggling and rolling. They took turns to dominate; Zoro crushing the blonde beneath him then being flipped onto his back. He looked up into that single clear blue eye. Messy hair, wide pupils and red, red lips. He pulled Sanji down onto him; into him.

“Harder!”

Sanji grinned down at him and slowed to a halt. Zoro glared at him.

“Put your leg over my shoulder,” the cook said. Zoro did it. He would have argued but he just wanted more. Sanji leaned down and kissed the swordsman, biting his lips.

“I’m going to fuck you so _hard_ you’ll think you’re in heaven,” the blonde said, punctuating the sentence with a rough jerk of his hips. Zoro groaned and put his head back. He didn’t want to look at the cook. He didn’t want to see that perfectly toned body bearing down on his own. He didn’t need to; he could feel every inch of him. He could feel the sweat on his skin and his bones grinding as he lifted Zoro’s leg up to his chin and rammed him.

_Fuck._

That was more like it.

Zoro could feel a hot, aching rush like nothing he’d ever felt before. It built in waves between his legs every time Sanji slammed into him. Sanji’s hard body above him, his hands on his cock, his tongue in Zoro’s mouth. He lost control of his senses, ranting lusty nothings when he could form words between moans and gulps of air.

“fuck me… ero-cook… fucking _pervert_ ….”

Sanji bit Zoro’s lips and pulled away from the kiss. He could hear Zoro muttering ‘fuck me... fuck me…’ and he was going to give this virgin a night to remember. He sat back until he was on his knees and shifted Zoro’s hips. He wrapped his fingers around Zoro’s ankle and used his weight and the strength in his legs to drive them together.

Sanji started to cuss as he lifted the swordsman’s leg even higher. Zoro looked so fucking good with his legs spread, eyes closed. He was moaning louder and louder, he was going to wake the whole damn crew up. He felt so _fucking good_ though. The bronzed flesh was hot under his fingers; he stroked Zoro’s cock harder with each thrust. The swordsman moaned and writhed while Sanji explored his insides. The cook’s breathing started coming in gasps and he knew he didn’t have much time left.

“Say my name,” he choked. He didn’t know if Zoro had heard him, he was making so much damned noise. Sanji grabbed a fist full of moss green hair. Dark eyes opened and a calloused hand reached up to his face. He took two rough fingers in his mouth, pulled his hips away and bit them as he ground their bodies together.

Zoro’s voice was distant and breathy but he heard it.

“Fuck me… _Sanji_ ….”

It was all he needed. Sanji rolled their bodies together right on that special spot. The swordsman grabbed him and pulled him in tight, swearing and moaning. Sanji rolled his body down and swung the swordsman on top of him. He wanted to watch him…

Zoro came like a force of nature, he roared and throbbed. Sanji watched his back arc as it hit him; he rocked with the force of orgasm. Sanji could feel him come and the smell of it, the sound of it… his name being roared into the night…

He came hard and hot on Zoro’s heels. He could feel the strong, heavy body bear down on him; the perfect muscles constricting around him… sending him straight to ero-heaven.

\----------------


	9. Keen as Mustard

Usopp turned over in his hammock. He couldn’t sleep. Again. It wasn’t like he wasn’t tired enough; he’d spent every spare minute fixing the damage to the ship from Zoro and Sanji’s ‘training’. He knew it was just an excuse though. The great Usopp had forgotten more about human psychology than most professionals would learn in a lifetime. He knew _the truth._

They just wanted an excuse to get away from running around for Nami. And it worked! Normally she’d deafen them if they did nothing but fight and tear the poor Merry up all day. She had always been plenty bossy but now that she had the sweet smell of money she was even worse. Her idea of getting a bounty from a marine base had Usopp in a cold sweat. He huddled down into his blanket and pulled it over his head. What was she thinking?!

Mind you, there was something weird happening between those two. First they hate each other, then they train together, then they don’t talk to each other and now they’re fighting in the middle of the night. He could hear Zoro screaming at Sanji from the other end of the ship. Didn’t they sleep?!

He could understand it though. They were probably worried about Nami’s plan too. After all, it was Zoro that she was going to send in. Sanji had tried to convince her that he’d be better at it - probably just trying to impress her - but she was firm. Zoro was going into the marine base and he was bringing the bounty out. Simple.

It was alright for her! She didn’t have to go in and rescue Zoro if anything went wrong. Everyone would be relying on Captain Usopp to make sure it all went smoothly. He could feel the first symptoms of his I-don’t-want-to-get-killed-doing-something-stupid-for-Nami disease.

Maybe Chopper would give him a medical certificate…

\--------------

From his position in the crow’s nest of the Going Merry, Zoro could watch the world go by. He was free to take in the beauty of the ocean and do what he pleased. Mostly that meant sleeping but recently he had a new hobby. He peered down at the cook; he was leaning against the railing and staring out into the sea. Smoking, of course.

Zoro couldn’t see his expression from all the way up here but he knew what it would be. He smirked. Stupid ero-cook had got himself in a little spot of bother.

Zoro had been pessimistic at first. He had discovered during his hectic life that it was always the safest option. He thought that now Sanji had done… what he had done… that he’d change his attitude towards the swordsman. Not that Zoro cared if he did.

Ok!

_He cared._

Shitty cook.

Would Sanji ditch him now that he’d had his way? Would he be just the same teasing pervert that he always was? Or - worst case scenario - would he think he could treat the swordsman like his bitch? He wouldn’t _dare._ Zoro wouldn’t stand for that kind of crap anyway, so it would pretty much ruin his sex life if Sanji insisted on being a shit about it.

Turned out Zoro was right. It did change the way Sanji treated him. It changed the way he behaved around him, the way he spoke to him, even the way he looked at him.

The day after, Sanji had been awkward and brusque, worse than normal …and Zoro had built up a pretty high tolerance for his arrogant prickery. But he already felt a bit unsure. He’d just done something that he never thought he’d do and that insensitive bastard was making him feel shitty and dirty. True, the sex was fucking incredible… but it didn’t mean that Sanji could treat him like a third rate ingredient and just turf him out of his life.

He should honour his damn actions. It wasn’t like Zoro had encouraged him to do it. Well, not at first anyway…

He’d been about half a minute away from dragging the cook onto the deck and thumping the living daylights out of him when it finally clicked. He recognised this behaviour… he knew what was behind those uncertain shifting eyes.

How the hell had he missed it?

Stupid cook had got himself all worked up and now all he could think of was Zoro… or more likely, his ass.

Served the perverted idiot right.

Zoro grinned down at the blonde’s dejected form. It wasn’t like the swordsman was making him suffer. He wasn’t into mind games and all that psychological foreplay crap. If the blonde wanted him, he was right here waiting. This was all the idiot cook’s doing. He was so worried about what ‘his’ ladies might think that he was too scared to just do what he wanted. _What they both wanted._

It had only been a couple of days so the blonde wasn’t fraying too badly yet. He’d cooked and made the obligatory fawning comments over Nami and Robin but Zoro could see it in his eyes. It was all the swordsman could do not to laugh out loud every time the horny bastard ran off.

_That’ll teach you not to bite off more than you can chew._

Of course just because Zoro wasn’t into mind games, it didn’t mean he couldn’t bait the idiot. After all, it wasn’t teasing if he was ready and willing, was it? Plus, he had a vested interest in making sure Sanji changed his mind…

So he trained bare-chested and made sure it was _loud._ He lounged around the galley being suggestive as hell and he brushed up against that lithe strong body every chance he got. Stupid cook didn’t care that someone else had to go without because of his paranoia, so that was what he got.

Teased to within an inch of his fucking life.

\---------------

The coarse stubble on Zoro’s chin had given Sanji a rash. And not just on his face. It was finally fading now but that was beside the point. They were going to have to land somewhere eventually and when they did, everything was going to be ready. The cook found the swordsman lying in the galley, complacent and scruffy. He was taking up the entire table. Surely there were more comfortable places to take a nap?

“Shave!”

“Mmm on holiday,” the swordsman muttered.

Ever since they got back from that damn bar fight, Zoro had decided that he would take a holiday whether they were on the island or not. The bastard was so lazy that it didn’t really make any difference. From what Sanji could see he just got drunk, pestered the cook in the galley and didn’t bother grooming. Oh and he trained.

…but he didn’t just train. He did it long and loud, with Sanji or without, day or night. Half naked. Shitty Marimo asshole knew that he couldn’t do anything with everybody around! What was he playing at?

It made Sanji hurt just looking at him. His cooking was suffering and he couldn’t even flirt properly. In his fantasies, he thought he’d feel so powerful to have subjected the chiselled warrior to his will… but somehow it was the opposite. Having his way with the damn Marimo had crippled him. But he wasn’t going to give the bastard the satisfaction of knowing that. _No way._

“On holiday? From what? What do you even do around here except get in fights and be an asshole?”

Zoro contemplated this for a minute. Well, that was what Sanji hoped he was doing; he might have just fallen back asleep.

“Not that you don’t do both of those well but you sure as hell aren’t on holiday from being an asshole, so I guess that leaves…” he swept his leg up and bought it down on Zoro’s offensive green head. It was a half-hearted kick; Usopp had a little chat to him about the galley door - poor bastard. Zoro redirected the force with his forearm; he didn’t bother opening his eyes.

“Nope, still fighting too,” Sanji glared down at the aho-Marimo. He was so damn _frustrating._

Zoro finally raised his head and gave the blonde a quizzical look. His brow was all furrowed and his eyebrows huddled together. In fact, it looked like he was thinking… and it _hurt._ Sanji stifled the urge to ask him if it did. If he put Zoro in one of his _moods_ , he’d never get the bastard to shave.

“Do I have to drop my pants and show you the delicate shade of lobster you’ve turned my privates with your personal supply of sandpaper?” he hissed.

Zoro sat up and smirked at him. Sanji pointed to the door with a distinct look of get-out-and-go-shave-you-abrasive-bastard. Zoro scratched his green bristles and narrowed his dark eyes.

“What?!”

“I’m waiting,” Zoro gestured towards Sanji’s pants.

“Kami! You’re a nightmare! What did I do to deserve you?!”

“Well, I seem to remember you practically _begging me_ to fuck you.”

“And I seem to remember you _literally_ begging me.” Seemed like Zoro was suffering from chronic selective memory. This whole stupid frustrating situation was his idea!

Zoro’s eyes twinkled with mischief “You mean like this?” he slid across the table and brushed the cook’s ear with his lips, “Fuck me, Sanji…” he whispered, “Fuck me right here on the t…”

“Out. Shave. _Now!_ ”

Sanji pushed him out the door and then leaned back and laughed. _Idiot._ What was he going to do with the man? He was grumpy, annoying, sweaty, gruff, permanently horny and completely refused to take instruction. Why on earth did he make Sanji feel so… flustered? So desperately horny and frustrated at the same time…

It wasn’t just because he couldn’t have him when he wanted to. None of the girls he’d been with made him feel this way. Come to think of it, neither had the ones he hadn’t been with. They’d made him desperately horny, true. But this was something _different._ It wasn’t like having someone of your own… and it wasn’t like it was with Nami - dreaming impossible dreams… It was…. He was….

_A challenge._

And Sanji _never_ backed down from a challenge.

\------------

Zoro stared up at the ceiling. It was the middle of the night and he could hear the cook breathing. He counted the planks on the ceiling left to right one more time. Forty-four. Same number that there were the last however many damn times he had counted them. He kept thinking about what had happened between them. Normally he just let things happen. It was a good way to deal with the world. Wait and see and then react when the time is right. Why was he awake, then? Why couldn’t he stop wondering whether Sanji thought there was something more happening between them?

It couldn’t happen. If he was going to be the best then nothing could get in his way. No matter how gorgeous and blonde and horny it was… That was another thing. The cook had been behaving so weird. And not just desperately horny weird. He was still bitching and fighting with Zoro like normal - which was good - but sometimes when the swordsman teased him, instead of spitting venom he _blushed_. He actually blushed!

Zoro had laughed the first time but Sanji had got pretty pissed off so he gave it a rest after that. The soft pink on his cheeks made him look even more girly. It didn’t make any sense to Zoro. Why was he blushing? Wasn’t it just a case of two people who happened to be sexually attracted to each other blowing off some steam?

He grumbled at himself for being so stupid. Whatever was happening, he was getting some great sex and that was fine. Whether it kept happening or not, that was also fine. Sanji was not going to want anything more. He was totally in love with himself …and his precious ladies of course.

Their bond as nakama was strong, though. Sanji had always been there when he needed someone to watch his back. They worried together about Usopp and Chopper, kept on eye on Luffy together, fought together, laughed together… He wasn’t that bad really, aside from the whole my-life-as-a-doormat routine. Maybe it wouldn’t be that much different if something did happen. They already cared about each other a lot, just as comrades.

The swordsman sighed.

_Enough._

This was ridiculous. He relaxed his body and prepared to meditate. It always helped him to calm his racing thoughts and focus on what mattered: his goal. Anyway, he’d need to be able to concentrate the next day when he went to collect that damn bounty. Black Blood had been out cold in the bottom of the hull for about a week now. Chopper said he was fine but Zoro thought it was a bit of an indignity for such a great fighter. Nami insisted that he was too dangerous to even be conscious, let alone roaming the ship. Zoro considered it admirable to inspire so much fear but Nami didn’t really understand the honour that bound warriors together. She had given the swordsman detailed instructions right down to how to get to the front door.

He’d only gone off course a tiny bit!

He closed his eyes and listened to the soft familiar sounds of night. The wind in the sails, the waves washing against the hull, the hammocks creaking as they swayed and the soft sound of Sanji breathing.

He dreamed a dream he shared with a dark haired girl, about a man who fulfilled his childhood promise and made the earth tremble at his name.

\--------------

“That disguise looks really good on you,” said Zoro, as Sanji considered his reflection in the girl’s mirror. It was true that the dark blue of the velvet set off his peaches and cream complexion. But Sanji knew Zoro wasn’t thinking of that.

“I’m not falling for that, asshole,” he said, turning and checking that his ass looked good. It did. How this thing would even fit muscle head he didn’t know.

“Well, I’m not wearing the damn thing!”

“Nami-san said you were wearing it, so guess what?” Sanji displayed that lovely dangerous smile.

“I’m not fucking wearing it.”

“YOU’RE WEARING IT!!!” Nami’s voice cut through the hull and made Zoro’s head throb. How did she do that? She was his personal curse. _Damn sea witch._

Sanji stepped close to whisper, “Anyway, you’d look hot in it.”

Zoro’s dark eyes narrowed as he turned them on the blonde.

“I’m not falling for it either, ero-cook.”

“Fine.” Sanji leaned in until his warm breath ticked Zoro’s ear “I was just thinking how I’d like to take it off you but if you don’t want to wear it…” Sanji was cut off as rough lips pressed down into his; Zoro literally swept him off his feet. Damn he could move fast when he wanted to. The cook turned his head away sharply.

“Put me down!” he hissed “Nami will hear you!” Zoro shrugged and dropped him on the floor. Sanji landed on his hands and turned fast, aiming a sweeping kick at Zoro’s knees. The swordsman jumped back and sprawled himself across Nami’s bed.

_Impudent bastard._

“Make your mind up,” he said, smirking “Oh and by the way, you really do look good in that.”

Sanji stifled the urge to kill and took a deep breath. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. It was a little over the top… It would probably suit Zoro better. It was pretty good though considering the ideas that Nami had come up with to start. Sanji had managed to talk her down, thank Kami. Usopp had even suggested an afro. Zoro nearly killed him.

He took off the hat and mask and threw them at the bed.

“Put it on,” he ordered.

“Take it off,” Zoro growled.

Sanji stepped closer and whispered, “I told you nothing is happening until we’re on solid ground. You’re too damn noisy”

“I can’t put it on unless you take it off, idiot.”

Smug bastard would be the death of him.

“No earrings, no swords,” Sanji said, hurling clothes at Zoro as he tried to get changed in the least sexy way possible, “we have to do this properly.”

Zoro just slouched around on the bed and stared at the blonde’s ass and his crotch, depending on which way Sanji was facing at the time. The man had no social graces.

Sanji finally did his jacket up and glared down at the lounging swordsman. There were a thousand things that he wanted to say to him but he didn’t trust himself to say any of them at a volume where his sweet Mellorine wouldn’t overhear every word. The Marimo was totally selfish. He didn’t give a shit that Sanji was going through hell - he was only out to sate his own lust. If he could just keep his hands to himself and wait until they got to the next island then everything would be fine. Instead, he did whatever he wanted and sulked if anyone got in his way. He was completely insufferable!

Somehow, he was _addictive_ though …and now that Sanji had got a taste, he was hooked. The man was just like cigarettes. He was glad that he had been able to fuss over the ladies and help Nami plan their infiltration. He needed every distraction he could get. He wouldn’t have minded playing about a little with Zoro but he was so _loud!_ And he’d do it anywhere, anytime, so that meant that he might try something in the wrong place… It was all a nightmare!

A big sexy loud screaming-my-name wet dream of a nightmare.

It was much easier to just get lost in the moment and let Nami’s enthusiastic planning carry him away. Her plan was relatively simple - mostly due to the need for moss-head to be able to follow it. Zoro would go in ahead of everyone and try to collect the bounty on his own. Robin had found the name of an obscure bounty hunter from the South Blue that might convince them. She would be Zoro’s backup; she’d listen to the conversations and tell everyone if there was trouble and where. If something went wrong, then Luffy would go in after him. Robin would go with the Captain to direct him to Zoro, and to baby sit and make sure he didn’t get distracted. Everyone else would follow if needed. The swordsman was also meant to figure out where the marines kept their gold but it seemed pretty unlikely that he’d be able to. This was Zoro, after all.

Useless Marimo would get lost in his own hammock.

Maybe Robin could direct him with her arms… might be the only way to get the idiot back out. He didn’t worry about the swordsman being hurt. As he’d found out, he seemed to like it… but he did worry about him getting lost in some dingy catacombs and never seeing the light of day again. It would be just like the selfish bastard to get the cook all riled up and then just bugger off.

_Stupid. Self-absorbed. Bloody. Idiot._

If only he wasn’t so fucking _unbelievable_ in bed.

_Damn it all._

Sanji had turned his back while Zoro was getting changed. The last thing he needed was to watch the swordsman strip off and parade around the room like a peacock.

“Are you done?” the cook snapped. Silence.

“Well?!”

He could hear the rustling of fabric as Zoro adjusted the outfit. Sanji was just trying to figure out if he wanted to see or not. If Zoro looked funny, that would be fine. But if he looked _hot…_

Not that the cook had a choice; Nami had decided that he was going to walk Zoro around Vesper Island to the base so he didn’t wander off. She hadn’t quite forgiven the swordsman for the unnecessary detour yet.

Sanji finally gave up on polite communication and turned around. He took in the swordsman in all his finery. He hadn’t got the cloak on yet but the rest was all present and accounted for. The big black leather boots and gloves. The black dress pants and long black military jacket. The open necked white frilled shirt and the wide belt holding a single cutlass instead of three katanas. There were two wide straps going from hip to shoulder crossing the swordsman’s bronzed chest, he was fiddling with one of the buckles trying to get it to sit flat. It made his pectoral muscles and his broad shoulders even more prominent. In fact, it was probably the closest thing to presentable the swordsman had ever been. He certainly looked a lot better than Sanji had…

_Bastard._

Zoro finally did the last clasp up and picked up the blue velvet cloak. He looked out at Sanji from under the broad brim of the three cornered hat and scowled.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I told you, it’s this or the afro,” Sanji smirked.

Zoro’s stare was made even blacker by the mask which covered the top half of his face. It made it look like he was permanently wearing his bandana and had his head down in that bloodthirsty way of his. It was actually pretty unnerving. Sanji knew then why they had called him a demon.

“It has frills,” Zoro stared down at the shirt with his angry black eyes.

“It’s what all the pirates are wearing in the East Blue at the moment. If you want to convince them that you’re a rich playboy then you have to look the part.”

“No self-respecting pirate would wear something like this. I can barely move,” Zoro wriggled the straps across his chest “and what is this supposed to be?” he pulled the cutlass out from his belt and held it out, closing his eyes. He opened them slowly and carved the blade through the air in front of the cook. It snapped neatly in two.

“Oi! Watch it, idiot!” Sanji kicked away the end of the blade as it hurtled towards his face. Zoro ignored him.

The swordsman draped the cloak over one shoulder and looked up at the blonde with those simmering eyes. Aside from the still-to-be-blacked mossy hair just visible, he looked every part the nobleman. He was certainly arrogant and haughty enough to be Eric Rothbury: playboy, bounty hunter and swashbuckler. Sanji just prayed that no-one invited him to have a meal. His table manners would mark him as the violent slob he was in a second.

The cook picked up the two halves of the cutlass. Lucky they had a spare. If Usopp had to fix one more thing, Sanji was pretty sure he’d snap. They really had to get a shipwright. He turned away to the door and allowed himself just two seconds of fuck-he-looks-hot before he took a deep breath and got serious.

“Come on meat head. Let’s do this.”

\-----------------------


	10. Shut Your Cake Hole

_“Hold my hand.”_

Sanji’s cornflower blue eyes glared out from under his soft blonde hair with barely contained malice. The damp autumn mist wound between the angry lovers and snaked off through the vines.

Zoro glared back through black leather. With the mask, the mist and the stupid hat he could barely see. He could exude pure rage _just fine_ though and he had saved up his best glare for Mr. Mouth. As if he had a right to be pissed off! First the asshole had dressed him up, then he’d scrubbed his head with soot and now he was leading him in circles in a dark forest and wanted to hold his damn hand.

If he was just doing this for kicks…

“Hold. My damn. Hand.”

A long leg swept in from outside Zoro’s narrowed field of vision and connected with his hip. Sanji knocked Zoro off balance and then grabbed the swordsman by his flailing arm and began to drag him through the brush. Zoro just sighed and dug his heels in. With the combined weight of him and his passenger, Sanji had quite a task hauling them along. Zoro figured if he was tuckered out then he might ease up on the bitching just _a little._ He’d been going at it pretty much constantly for the last few days. The blonde looked really sexy all worked up; but it was not doing his hangover any good at all. Sanji kept hitting this _one note_ that made his teeth hurt.

_Damn girly sexy-ass cook._

Not only was he bitching non-stop but he’d told Zoro nice and clear that there was no fun to be had in the forest today. It was a pity, really. With all the lush wet grass and the rough bark to grind that sweet pale body against… They were in the middle of nowhere, what was the problem!?

As if reading the swordsman’s mind Sanji said, “If you wander off one more time it will be dark before we get there. We can’t afford any more delays, baka. Do you really want that guy to wake up?” The blonde jerked a thumb at the unwieldy red headed package that Zoro had slung over his shoulder. The swordsman grinned. He had missed his chance to try his strength with the man and he had the look of a true warrior. None of this bizarre-coloured-costume-pointless-poncy-attack-devil’s-fruit bullshit. Pure strength and raw power; just what Zoro appreciated most. He was just opening his mouth to voice this opinion when the cook cut him off.

“You know what? Don’t even fucking answer that. Look, we’re here.” Sanji parted some branches with an out-stretched foot and forced Zoro through. Suddenly he was standing in front of a huge stone wall. He shifted Black Blood onto his other shoulder and tried to adjust the straps across his chest. They kept digging in under his arms; and he was too hot in all these layers of heavy fabric. What on earth was the cook thinking putting him in this stupid get-up?! _Perverted shitty…_

“Oi. Pay attention! Follow that wall until you get to the gate and then say your piece, ok? Don’t fuck this up. I know it’s going to be hard for you seeing as you got lost following a man in a tropical shirt two shitty miles but just try to concentrate because N..”

The man could really talk.

Zoro grabbed him by the belt and yanked his slender waist and sharp hips close. He pressed their lips together and cut off the lecture in mid flow.

This was a much better way to say goodbye.

Shitty cook was probably too frustrated to know any better… He pressed Sanji into the contours of his body and moved gently against him as the cook surrendered to the deep kiss. After an eternity Zoro stepped back and left the blonde to find his feet again.

“See you later,” the swordsman said. He cast one final grin at the compromising bulge in Sanji’s pants and strolled off into the mist. Aside from the damn chafing this was going to be a breeze.

“Wait!”

Zoro stopped and turned slowly. Sanji was striding towards him purposefully.

“What?!” he barked, as the cook stopped in front of him and put one hand on the swordsman’s shoulder. He drew his long fingers up and sunk two into his mouth, sucking them gently. Zoro tried not to stare as they disappeared behind his sweet pink lips and re-emerged slick and suggestive.

Sanji looked deep into his eyes, a warm pink blush slowly rising in his cheeks.

“You’ve got soot on your head, idiot.”

The cook scrubbed his wet fingers on Zoro’s forehead and made a face, rubbing it with the sleeve of his jacket. His wide blue eyes focussed just above Zoro’s own, his soft lips all screwed up in a determined pout, the sweet hot flush of his cheeks…

“No shit.” Zoro batted his hand away and tried to retain the dignity of his dramatic exit. Sanji let his hands fall and grinned sheepishly from under his personal blonde curtain.

“You’re so dirty.” He sucked his fingers again, this time slower and with a lot more tongue. Zoro stumbled over a tree root and did his best to look disinterested as he left the cook behind.

Damn blonde always had to have the last word.

\------------

Zoro stood in the huge banquet hall and tried to look at home. The ceiling soared away from him into the heavens and pink and orange banners spiralled down towards the marble floor. A massive table laid with clean white cloths and silver stretched off into the distance. Various high ranking marines were lounging around it consuming a late lunch, with a lot of drink to go with it. Zoro took it all in with a sneer. These marines sure knew how to live it up in style…

Unfortunately the swordsman had not been invited to dinner. He eyed the copious sake with jealousy and tried to concentrate on his situation. He took a deep breath to regain his composure and glanced airily around the room, trying to convey an aura of authority. In fact, he only succeeded in looking more dangerous.

The ring of men in white and blue uniforms around him backed a few steps away while keeping their rifles levelled on him. Zoro sized them up; they looked organised but pretty green. Their short over-dressed vice admiral stepped forward and held up a newspaper. His chubby fingers held it out to Zoro and he contemplated the pirate with sleepy brown eyes. His wide lips were permanently set in a bemused smile. Just looking at him was pissing Zoro off. He probably hadn’t done a day’s work in his life.

The swordsman stepped forward to take the newspaper and was promptly prodded with rifles in all his softest parts. He wished that he still had his beloved katanas. How the hell had Sanji convinced him to leave them behind? The cutlass was completely useless. He’d be better off trying to get someone to swallow the damn thing and choke than he would be to actually try and fight with it!

“What do you mean I’m dead?” he threw his voice out clear and deep. He had to bluff this or Nami would be grumpy. If Nami was grumpy, then Sanji was grumpy and right now he was annoying enough.

The short vice admiral looked up at him and began to read the proffered article out loud.

“Eric Rothbury, well known entrepreneur and play boy was discovered dead this morning after a suspected feud with an underground pirate collective… The rest is equally interesting but I think you get the gist. So; what’s it like being dead? Any wisdom to share?” The beady eyed man peered up and him and smiled that condescending smile.

“I feel much better now. I have a great Doctor. So, how about that bounty?” Zoro narrowed his eyes and craned down over the tiny man. _So irritating._ Luffy would probably like him.

The vice admiral chuckled and gestured for Zoro to sit back down at the table where they had been conducting their negotiations. The swordsman remained standing. He had thought it was all going well… Then a whole bunch of men with rifles had poured into the room and a pretty blonde secretary had scuttled in after them and dropped that paper in Vice Admiral Aston’s lap.

“You tell me who exactly you are and I’ll consider it.”

“I told you who I am. My time is too valuable for these games, so give me my money or get out of my god damn way.” Zoro hoped that was in character enough. Stupid love-cook, why the hell wasn’t he the one stuck here dressed up like a frilly idiot? It would have suited him much better. Wine loving, tie wearing, limp wristed…

“I’m sure we can figure this all out once we’ve detained you for some questions. If you are indeed who you say you are, then we can have all this sorted out in a matter of days.” The man beamed up at him. Zoro did his best not to lose his temper. They still didn’t know who he was, so that was something at least. He could still scope the place out and then take what he could find as he left.

“If you insist, vice admiral. Just be warned that I shall be contacting my lawyers!” Zoro stuck his chin up in the air and marched off in the direction they had indicated feeling like a complete tit. Robin should be able to hear what was going on. Maybe she had figured out where the money was held by now. If he could just keep the rabbit man occupied for a little while longer…

The place that they kept the prisoners had to be pretty far away from their gold and the further away he could take them, the better. He let them march him down dark corridors with only token resistance. He bumped a couple of guards into the wall, just to make sure that they kept a full escort on him. He also bumped a particularly annoying red headed rookie who kept jabbing him in the ribs. Gave him a neat hip and shoulder at the top of a flight of stone stairs that wound off into the darkness… The kid went flying and cleared half the stair case before he collided with a second marine and they both continued their unhappy descent. They hit the bottom with a crack and when Zoro got down there, one of them was out cold. _Whoops._ He smirked. Have to remember to go easy on the poor boys.

Finally the swordsman was taken along a long stone corridor lined with cells with old, rusty metal bars. All of the marines guarding him crammed into the space and the vice admiral set about organising who would keep watch and who would interrogate the suspect. Pretty soon half of them were going to leave. Zoro drew himself up and finally let the marines see the vicious delight in his eyes. He turned slowly, until he was facing the short rabbit man who was still serenely issuing orders.

“One more thing…” the swordsman said, sending his cloak billowing over his shoulder with a dramatic sweep of his arm, “I don’t take being treated like trash lightly.”

That time, he got the tone just _perfect_. The corner of his mouth twisted into a sadistic grin. He could finally test out what he had learnt. _Faster. Better. Stronger than ever._ He could smell the fear in the room. It made the blood rush in his ears.

The swordsman pulled his pathetic cutlass out as the marines began to close in on him. They hadn’t even bothered to take the thing off him. He gave the brittle weapon a cursory glance; the metal hadn’t even been folded! It would be an insult to Wadou if he treated this thing like a sword. He held it like a throwing knife and launched it at Aston’s chubby throat. The first marine reached Zoro and tried to grab his arm. He ducked and twisted his shoulder under the man, then straightened up and sent him flying into the bars of the cell behind them. Zoro turned back to where the vice admiral had been. Instead of a nice gurgling noise and a satisfying puddle of arterial blood, there was nothing there. Nothing.

The guy had just vanished.

A couple of the younger marines had finally snapped out of shock and were firing wildly in Zoro’s general direction. The swordsman hit the floor rolling and felt the bullets whistle over his head. He popped up in front of a stern dark haired recruit and snapped his rifle in half with a good strong punch before knocking the debris into the face of the man next to him. He threw his body into a low spinning kick and scanned the room as he swept their legs out from under them. No-one too close just yet. He took off his cloak as he rose to his feet, shaking the dark fabric it out in front of him.

Everyone in the room paused for just a second; it was long enough.

Zoro threw the cloak out like a blanket and rained blows through it, whirling like a tornado behind the dark screen of velvet. He felt his arms and legs melt into the form of the fabric and he turned with it, keeping it in the air. He let it fall to the ground covering a pile of marines and struggled out of yet another layer of fabric. Finally he was down to his shirt and pants. _Much better._ He closed his eyes and felt out the room. They were still staying away from him.

_Clever, clever lads._

He could feel the slightly acid ache of the hangover in his muscles. The tight leather straps were digging into him and the stupid hat meant he could barely see. The whole place was full of rookies and he probably wasn’t even going to be able to get his kinks out before Luffy came rampaging in and destroyed the place. He narrowed his vision and focussed on the lines which formed the nose of the marine closest to him. The man blinked and Zoro drove an elbow into his face and then deposited him on the floor. He was better off out cold.

He could feel a group closing in behind him and there was one big man striding up to meet him head on. At least someone here had some damn guts.

_Perfect._

Pity lover boy wasn’t here...

Zoro closed his eyes and waited. He could feel the men getting closer behind him. Most of them had swords instead of rifles, so he could let them get just a little closer. Waiting…. Waiting…

Zoro looked deep into the eyes of the single huge marine in front of him and gave him the courtesy of knowing exactly what hit him,

“Swordless Style: Stampede!” he drew his hands up in a level arc and rolled all his power up into his shoulders before releasing it in one double palmed hit onto the floor. The stone underneath him shattered and a wave of buckled rock rolled out, knocking over half the men in the room. Zoro leapt up onto the shoulders of stumbling tall marine in front of him. The man grabbed at his feet but after using his head to get a bit of leverage, Zoro was in the air again. He pushed off the nearest wall, flipped and then kicked an unlucky marine in the back before landing on him. This was where Aston had been. He couldn’t have gotten to the door; he just hadn’t had enough time. So where was he?

“Looking for someone?” A serene voice hovered behind him.

Zoro spun, elbow and knees first. He sailed around in a perfect murderous arc, with enough force to crush bone. Once again, no-one there.

The swordsman saw a shadow flick past and then his head hit the floor. Everything went dark for just a split second and he knew he had taken a decent hit. He scrambled and got his feet just before being slammed into the rusty bars. There was Aston, peering down at him. Smug bastard was grinning again.

There was no way that guy could possibly have knocked him on his ass.

Maybe he was still drunk…

\-----------------

Sanji did up his trousers and sighed. Damn Marimo was really playing on his mind way too much. He looked _so good_ with black hair. Zoro was always rubbing him and stroking him and kissing him… it was a wonder that he hadn’t gone mad. At least out in the forest he could relieve some tension without having to worry about someone catching him at it. The mist was so thick he could barely see the end of his cigarette.

“I think we have a little trouble.”

Sanji spun around only to find Robin inches away from his face. His skin crawled a little but he quickly regained his senses.

“He’s only been in there fifteen minutes!”

“Swordsman-san does have a certain talent for confrontation…” she smirked. Sanji realised how close she was, he could smell her sweet scent on the air. He could feel his knees turning to jelly. There was something about this woman. She dripped with power and danger… there was something untameable about her. _Something wild._ Just like Zoro.

_The idiot._

“He can take care of himself,” Sanji grumbled. “We should go for a walk in the forest while he sorts his own mess out…” he winked suggestively and proffered his elbow for Robin to take. A nice stroll with a beautiful lady was just what he needed to take his mind off… _things._

“I’m not worried about _him_ ,” Robin said, cool as ever.

Sanji looked up into those dark inscrutable eyes.

“Who then?”

“Captain-san wanted to see Zoro in his outfit and so he decided to go in…” her eyes narrowed into what Sanji assumed was a smile.

“He WHAT?!”

“Apparently he didn’t see it before Zoro left; I did try to tell him…” Robin trailed off. There was no point in trying to get a message through to the retreating blonde blur. The best she could do was head in the front door and try to mop up whatever mess the three of them had created.

They really were a strange bunch.

\---------------

Zoro stared into those complacent brown eyes. The man was not there before. So, where had he come from?

The swordsman struggled to his feet. He was a little dizzy but apart from that it looked like his strong young body had come through for him again. There was something strange about rabbit man. He had a weird blurry outline. Almost as if he was standing in front of a bright light. Zoro circled the man warily and squinted at him, trying to get a clear picture. He smiled offensively and waved Zoro away,

“Don’t worry yourself. Even you, Roronoa Zoro, cannot cut _mist_.”

His hand melted away into the air and his arm, chest, stomach, legs and finally head all followed. He just whispered away into the air leaving nothing but an aura of self-importance.

_Oh great_. Not only does he know my name but he’s a mist man.

_I always get the weirdos._

Zoro whirled around trying to detect where Aston had gone. He made sure to keep his back to the wall in order to reduce the chance of being hit from behind. There was a jab near his kidneys and he felt a cold blade sink in. He put his hand down where it hurt and then kicked off the wall behind him. He whipped his shoulder around and knocked the knife away from him. He heard it hit the ground.

No-one there.

The bastard could fight while he was invisible. _This might just be interesting…_

The swordsman put his back to the wall again. This didn’t make it any different. It wasn’t like he could see him before anyway. _Damn hat._

The first blow crushed the wind out of his lungs. The second hit his knee as he tried to defend and slammed his ankle into the broken stone. The force jarred through his body as the third blow sent him flipping into the debris. He hit rock, crumpled and then twisted back onto his feet. He stumbled for a second, wishing that he had stood up slower. His vision was a little fuzzy. Nothing to worry about, just the lights looked a little brighter and everything was fading together.

_The lights._

There were a line of braces in the wall with lamps in them. He grabbed a handful of rocks and began to hurl them… One light went out, then two. He felt a cold damp breeze rushing towards him and he stepped out from the wall. He let it go just past him then slammed his forearm back to send rabbit’s face through the stonework. Zoro’s feet shot out behind him and his knees buckled. He used the forward momentum to dive roll onto his shoulder; flicking his wrist to take out one more light. He rolled back up to his feet behind where he thought Aston must be. One of his boots had half come off.

The stragglers from the stairway were finally making their way across the room. If enough of them got in the way, it might buy him some time… Zoro leapt over the broken stone towards them, changing direction as often as he could. He aimed a whirling kick behind him and managed to send a lanky marine slamming into one of the last lights. His boot almost came clean off. Zoro looked at it with disgust.

_Fucking ero-cook and his fucking 'outfit'..._

The boot sailed across the room into the last lamp and suddenly it was pitch black.

\-----------------------


	11. Cream of the Crop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I stole the bit about the Zoro of tomorrow from Naruto, so credit to Masashi Kishimoto - I always thought Zoro showed a bit of Lee-like enthusiasm.
> 
> \---xxx---

Zoro slowed his breathing and let his body take control. He could hear the marines stumbling around in the dark; cursing and tripping over dislodged stones and unconscious comrades. They had stopped shooting now that they didn’t know friend from foe. The swordsman’s reflexes carried him effortlessly through the chaos. He weaved and turned, flipping over debris and leaving a trail of broken bodies behind him. He might not be able to see Aston but the vice admiral couldn’t see him now either.

_Touché._

He liked to fight in the dark. It meant he had to rely on the skills he had spent years honing to perfection. He wasn’t just a swordsman, he was a warrior. Every part of him knew its role and his lovingly sculpted body was just one piece of his armoury. His hearing, his sense of smell, his cat-like balance and his lightning reflexes… they were his only reliable allies until he had met Luffy. They were what he could _trust._ When he closed his eyes and let his body take over, all his fears melted away. He simply _was._ And right now he _was_ force.

Every time one of the marines struggled to light one of the lamps - the last thing they saw was dark demon eyes as a powerful wave of wind knocked the lamp from their hands and then nothing but the deeper black of unconsciousness. Zoro was proud. Even though it was messy and involved a lot of wasted energy - something the swordsman hated - he hadn’t killed a single marine. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that he’d left his katanas behind; this was great training. Sanji might even be impressed… The leather straps cut into Zoro’s chest as it swelled. He’d show that sissy ass what he could really do…

The swordsman closed his eyes and focussed all of his attention on the air around him. He could feel something powerful moving slowly to his right. That meant Aston was further down the corridor. He moved forward, concentrating on his footing. He was trying to be quiet now but he constantly had to knock away various body parts that were in his way. A broken nose, one knee, three wrists and a dislocated shoulder later he finally realised why his kicks were off. He had been so caught up in the moment he had forgotten that he only had one boot on. He tore off the remaining boot and circled around the debris. _Come on mist man…_

_Come out and play._

\-------------

Sanji flipped over the main gate. He cleared a very surprised guard room and sprinted off into the base before they even knew what had hit them. He hurtled through the main doors, sending marines slamming into the lush wallpaper at every turn. He could hear the fight, he just couldn’t quite figure out where it was. Trust Zoro to find the most out of the way spot in the whole damn base! Sanji turned down yet another long dark corridor. They all looked the same. He stood there, perplexed, for a minute and tried to figure out where all the bashing and crashing noises were coming from. If he followed the noise, he was sure to find his nakama.

Three marines covered in blood cleared the corner at the end of the corridor and hurtled towards Sanji. The cook put his hands in his pockets and his foot against the wall, making sure that his long leg prevented anyone from getting past him. The marine in front was a short stocky man with dark brown hair and glasses. He stared up at Sanji and started to shout at him,

“Get out of the way! Roronoa Zoro is in the base! He’s going wild!” his eyes were wide and he looked like he’d been crying. The cook almost felt sorry for him. He didn’t move though.

“Get out of the way!” the other marines took up the chorus as more hurtled round the corner. Looked like Zoro was causing a bit of a stir. And they all knew his damn name! _Typical._ He’d gone to all the effort to get together a disguise and coach moss-head until even _he_ couldn’t cock it up and then Luffy rushes in and blows his cover. What was the Captain thinking?! Probably not much. That was the problem. It was just _impossible_ for the idiot to contain himself. Next time they made a careful plan, he was going to lash Luffy to the mast…

Sanji turned in a vicious cartwheel down the corridor. His feet beat a tattoo as he sent countless faces slamming into the walls. They were really going to need to repaint after this. He sniggered a little at the carnage. _When the Straw Hat Pirates come to visit, they always leave their mark._

He could hear the cacophony getting louder. On his right a stone staircase plummeted off into darkness. The noise was loud now and he could almost smell the fear. He plunged down into the dark abyss. Marines were still pouring out of the room and reinforcements were pouring in. It took Sanji about ten full minutes to get down the stairs and when he did, he had a pile of bodies to get over at the bottom. It wasn’t easy to climb through them in the dark. What the hell was going on here? He could hear the sounds of bones breaking and the satisfied grunts of a man who was really enjoying his work.

_Zoro._

Sanji shook the last of the marines off his legs and set off towards the swordsman. He could feel a cold damp breeze winding around him. It made his skin crawl and goose bumps form on the back of his neck. It almost felt like he was back out in the forest. _Weird._

The cook wasn’t so sure about turning flips when he couldn’t see where he was going, so instead he just axe kicked his way from one end of the room towards the sexy sounds of Zoro fighting. Step, kick, step, kick… He had a couple of marines jump on him but they weren’t very hard to get rid of. He felt the breeze blowing on his neck again and stopped to try to figure to where it was coming from. A kick cleaved the air in front of him and he dodged out of the way just in time. He had only just felt the air move; his face would have been turned into paste. Lucky he was light on his feet. He could feel the body just in front of him pivot in the air and then a leg drove into his ribs. He flipped backwards onto his hands and slammed into another body, someone was trying to stand up behind him. He collected whoever it was and they both rolled into a pile of rubble.

A familiar deep voice cut through the damp darkness.

“What are you doing, ero-cook? I could’ve hurt you”

\--------------

The blonde was not happy. Even in the pitch black Zoro swore he could see his curly eyebrow twitch.

“What am I doing? What the hell are YOU doing?! If you knew it was me, why’d you hit me you asshole?”

“Guess it’s just your bad luck.”

Zoro leaned left and was buffeted by the wind coming off the foot which missed his head by an inch. Sanji was not happy at all. That’s what he gets for running head first into someone else’s fight though. He’d recognised the cook as soon as he flipped back; no-one did it quite like Sanji. The guy practically bent in half.

Zoro grinned into the dark and swung a heavy punch over Sanji’s shoulder. He knocked out the marine still trying to get to his feet behind the cook and then rested his arm on Sanji’s shoulder and leaned in close. As close as he could get before being thrown head first onto the pile of marines on the other side of the room. He landed in what had to be a collection of elbows and then jumped to his feet and marched back across the room.

“You want a fight cook!?”

“Damn well I do!” The cook’s voice rang out in the dark angry and loud; Zoro could feel his presence. He oozed power. That was why Zoro had though that he was Aston at first. He could also feel the waves of red rage pouring off him.

Zoro thumped his way right up close. Sanji was whirling around hitting anything that came within rage of his deadly, sexy legs. Zoro felt the breeze coming off him as he increased his speed with every turn. Pretty soon he’d be going so fast that even Zoro couldn’t keep up. The swordsman waited for him to go low with a sweeping kick; that meant next time he’d cross over and then he’d have his leg up above his head. He let his body feel for the right moment and then he struck.

He closed his arms around Sanji and crushed the cook’s leg to his chest. The momentum the cook had gotten up meant it was all he could do not to go spinning off into the darkness. He dug his bare feet into the rubble and clung on like a limpet.

“Get off me!!!” Sanji screamed, as he hopped and somehow got his other foot into Zoro’s knee. Zoro twisted sideways and bought his shoulder down into the cook’s chest, trying to wind him as they broke contact. A foot slammed into his chest and he deflected three more blows before he’d even regained his stance. Then it was _really on._

A whirling mass of dust, limbs and screamed abuse rolled from one end of the room to the other. Zoro was trying to tell Sanji that he might want to keep it down. Sanji was trying to ask Zoro if he had seen Luffy. Somehow, all that was coming out was insults and violence. Finally, Zoro managed to pin Sanji to the floor. He had the advantage in the dark it seemed, even without his beloved katanas. He was just leaning in to the spitting, hissing blonde to tell him to shut up when a low level voice blew cold mist right into his ear.

“Temper, temper…” He felt the cook freeze beneath him as the blow landed on his stomach and he was lifted up into the air. He hit the ground on his side and stayed down. Might be a good idea to keep quiet until he knew where the bastard was. Plus he had probably cracked a rib. _Damnit._

He could still feel Sanji’s dual anger and confusion. It was like a beacon. Zoro couldn’t figure out how he’d missed the guy before with all the red hot rage bubbling away inside him. _Maybe he wasn’t pissed until he’d found me…_ Zoro frowned and filed that thought away for future consideration. Right now he had to find Aston.

He could feel someone powerful closing in on him but it was hard to pin point. It felt as if it was all around him and the mist which clung to his skin and made his stupid frilly shirt damp seemed to confirm that it was. He just had to wait, keep quiet and hope that he could find Aston before Aston found him. He finally pulled his gloves off and tore the three cornered hat from his head. Now he was down to shirt, pants and those annoying buckled straps. Zoro felt the cold stone tremble slightly under him; something big was on the move. He could feel the mist swirling around him and slowly the feeling of power came together directly above him.

He rolled towards the far wall just as the ceiling collapsed. A shower of dust and rubble hit the ground next to his head and a slab of stone as big as a piano dropped out of the sky above him. He pushed off the ground and dove as far as he could. It was close but he was lucky. Light streamed in from the windows in the room above. The full extent of the chaos was finally revealed. Layer upon layer of stone, bloody limbs and torn marine uniforms covered the floor. No Aston. No Sanji.

Just one big idiot with a massive grin, sitting cross-legged on a slab of rock.

“Hey Zoro! That outfit does look good on you! Wow! I’m glad I came to check it out.” Luffy ogled the swordsman and then leapt to his feet, dusting himself off.

Zoro’s calm fighting exterior crumbled.

“Next time, tell us first!!!” he screamed, in unison with another voice that was equally pissed off. Sanji was standing behind him, his leg raised to take off the swordsman’s head. Apparently the shock of realising he’d nearly been killed by his Captain - yet again - had redirected the blonde’s anger. He’d have to thank Luffy later. Once he got over the fact that he had almost been killed as well…

Damn idiot. Where the hell had he even come from?!

Luffy stared at him in awe, grinning like a monkey. _Fool._

Zoro grinned. It was so hard to stay angry at the kid.

Sanji looked from Zoro’s grin to Luffy’s and then back again. His face went from red to purple and his eyebrow practically came right off his head.

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR OUTFIT!?” he screamed, as his suspended foot finally came down and dealt the swordsman yet another blow to the head. There wasn’t much force behind it but the bloodthirsty look in the cook’s eyes said there was a hell of a lot more where that came from.

“Oh… You’re in trouble!” Luffy laughed and sat back down to watch his nakama fight. They were so much fun!

“Sanji! Stop it damn it!” Zoro ducked and tried to get some distance between him and the cook. He could still feel Aston close and now the bastard could see him clear as day. As if on cue, a pair of condescending brown eyes appeared behind Luffy and a cloud of mist gathered behind his head.

“Hey! Luffy…” Zoro dodged another kick to the head. “There’s a…”

_Too late._

Luffy’s head snapped sideways on his rubbery neck and he went flying into the rusty bars with so much force that he actually bounced off them again, hit what was left of the ceiling and then finally smashed into the rubble.

Sanji blinked at the messy collection of rubber limbs and turned back to Zoro, his eyebrow raised in an unspoken question.

“I tried to tell you,” the swordsman said.

Sanji’s eyes narrowed and he took a long deep breath through his nose but he didn’t kick Zoro in the head again. At least he was listening now.

“There’s a guy in here with a devil’s fruit ability…”

“Indeed there is. Straw Hat Luffy, I’m Vice Admiral Aston of the Vesper Island Marine Defensive Division. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” A smile formed over Luffy’s head and then the Captain’s grin was slammed into the rocks between his knees. He bounced back up and then looked around in confusion.

“Luffy, he’s a mist man! He’s invisible,” Zoro shouted to Luffy as he closed the gap between them. “Leave him to me!” Luffy turned his now-dark eyes on his first mate.

“You want to fight him?”

“ _Yes_.”

“Ok. Come on Sanji, let’s go and get the treasure.” Luffy stood and dusted his hat off before placing it back on his head.

“Thanks,” Zoro said. He meant it. But Luffy always knew what he meant. He would never stand in his way. He always pushed him to be the best and he never tried to stop him pursuing his dream. Zoro knew that he was the only man that he could ever follow, only because he never tried to lead. He just strode out and fate took care of anyone who tried to challenge him. Zoro believed in luck and luck was Luffy.

The swordsman closed his eyes again and tried to focus…

“Hey Robin, you come too!” Luffy’s voice cut through his concentration.

“You won’t be leaving so easily, Straw Hat.” Aston appeared in full this time and raised up a fist, striking a ridiculous pose while he gathered momentum to hit Luffy again. The Captain grinned at Zoro and sent one arm flying up into the room above him. His other circled Sanji and Robin - who had appeared at the bottom of the stairs - and in a second, they all rocketed up into the room above.

Good. All out of the way. Now he really didn’t have to worry. The swordsman took a step and launched himself into the air, spinning to make himself a hard target.

“Bushido-san!” Robin’s voice floated down from above. Zoro tried to look and was knocked sideways out of the air by Aston. He hit the ground on his cracked rib. _Damn woman!_

“WHAT?!”

“You may want these,” Robin smiled her inscrutable smile and dropped down something green. It was his haramaki; and it was lovingly wrapped around the rest of Zoro’s body - those three steel limbs that he felt naked without. Zoro grinned wide as he snatched them from the air and fastened them back where they belonged. He may not trust that woman but she was sure as hell useful from time to time.

“Thankyou Robin-chan!” he called up, as he turned back towards the fray. Robin’s expression remained fixed but one solitary eyebrow moved a centimetre from its usual post. To anyone who knew the woman well, that tiny sign conveyed a whole world of emotion.

“I guess I’ll deal with you first then, Roronoa.” Aston’s voice hovered somewhere off to Zoro’s right. The swordsman turned his back to the wall and drew his katanas out one by one. Yubashiri in his left hand and the bloody Sandai Kitetsu in his right… He could feel the mist closing in, then suddenly his swords were in the air and he could taste the copper of blood in his mouth. He took the full force of the hit and rolled with it. He watched his precious katanas arc through the air and threw his body out to catch them. A low, level voice laughed in his ear and a chill breeze rolled over him.

His head spun and the light from the windows above went white and then black and back again. He couldn’t pass out now. _Not yet._

He crawled forward and finally reached his katanas. He picked them up and got back on his feet.

“You can have them,” Aston’s voice came from all around him as the mist swirled, “they won’t help you now.”

Yubashiri in his left, the cursed sword in his right… and finally Wadou Ichimonyi: the sword that held all his hopes and dreams. He put his treasure in his mouth and crossed the three blades in front of him. His sensei had said that cutting _nothing_ was the true sign of a swordsman’s skill. He could cut steel but could he cut mist?

A challenge like this was just what he needed. _Better. Faster. Stronger than ever before_. The Zoro of yesterday couldn’t cut mist but who knew what the Zoro of tomorrow was capable of? The swordsman smiled around the woven hilt of Wadou,

“I’d be saving all my breath to cry mercy if I were you.”

Zoro closed his eyes and felt the mist whirl around him. He could feel it swirl and twist. He could feel Aston’s limbs in it, his heart beat, his breath… Life within life, movement within movement, breath within mist. He could see Aston’s face in his mind’s eye. His hands moved. He felt Yubashiri and the cursed sword return to their sheaths. He opened his mouth and felt Wadou drop to rest in his left hand. It moved with the mist and the breath drew it in. He could feel the cold damp on his neck and the heavy feeling of power all around him.

The katana swept it all away.

A single point. A piercing light in the dark. An echo, like a dream, that one blade could follow. It cut a single level arc and he fell to his knees. A carved wave of bloody mist shimmered in the air and then fell around him like a monsoon downpour.

The breath was gone.

\----------------

Sanji stood at the bottom of the stairs and gawked.

His jaw hadn’t shut for at least ten minutes. He had told Luffy he was looking for the treasure. Instead, he had come to watch Zoro. The swordsman was covered in blood and sweat. A red mist surrounded him and rolled away from his body, slowly sinking to stain the ground. His dark eyes were still closed as he re-sheathed his katana and slowly stood up.

“What do you want?” Zoro’s voice was calm and clear.

Sanji swallowed. Between the mask, the torn shirt, the sweat, the blood and the raw beauty of watching him fight… The cook had a painfully throbbing hard on and nowhere to hide.

“Ummm…” The blonde closed his mouth and opened it again, desperately willing something intelligent to come out. Inside, he was turning to jelly.

“Hey Sanji!!!” The Captain’s childish voice rang out behind the cook. He sighed. Saved!

Luffy bounced down the stairs and bowled into the room, knocking a large portion of the pile of marines at Sanji’s feet into the far wall.

“Hey Zoro! You finished?”

The swordsman slowly opened his eyes and turned them on his Captain.

“Yes,” he said simply.

“Good! Let’s get going! Nami said we had to be back by dinner time and I’m really hungry!”

Luffy’s grin widened as he took in the carnage.

“Wow Zoro, you really destroyed the place!”

“That was _you_ , idiot.” Zoro walked over and cuffed Luffy affectionately on the head. Luffy wound his arm up, twisting it out far behind him,

“Gomu gomu no …” Zoro cuffed him again, with a lot less affection. His rubber head bounced merrily into the rubble.

“Baka! You’ll bring the whole building down on us!”

Luffy sat up and rubbed his head as if nothing had happened.

“Oh yeah!”

Sanji was slowly recovering from his trace. He only knew one thing. He HAD to get Zoro out into the forest. NOW. His body was screaming out for the swordsman. He needed to feel the hard body against him. He needed to breathe in that sweet smell of fresh sweat and pure power. He had to get out of there and into Zoro’s arms and he would do _anything_ to make it happen.

“Zoro can cut through the wall here,” the blonde said, trying to keep the desperate lust out his voice.

“Oh yeah!” Luffy said again and beamed up at Zoro.

The swordsman drew Yubashiri and levelled it against the wall behind him. He arched his brow at Sanji, who nodded.

“Are you sure it goes outside?” Zoro asked. The cook would normally have abused him - HE had no right to ask questions like that - instead, he nodded again. He didn’t trust his voice at the moment, those dark demon eyes were making him dizzy.

In a single slice, Zoro carved a door into the metres thick stone. He re-sheathed his katana and kicked the lump of rock out into the courtyard.

Luffy ran out into the sun shine.

“Dinnnerrrrr!!!!!”

Sanji followed Luffy out into the courtyard and turned so he couldn’t see the chiselled warrior even out of the corner of his eye. Once his breath had come back, he focussed all his attention on the Captain.

“Where’s Robin?”

“She took the treasure back to the ship. You should see all of the stuff that we found, it was so cool! There was this thing that had a big handle like a giant ladle and there was a thing like a rock that had...”

Sanji let Luffy’s prattle wash over him. _Come on, think!_

“Luffy, I need to get supplies for dinner.”

“What? But Nami said we have to go straight back!”

“Do you want to eat or don’t you?”

“Awww Sanji but Nami will shout at me!”

“I’ll make roast for you.”

“Yosh!” Luffy grinned wide, “Come on Zoro, let’s go back to the ship!”

“I need Zoro to come with me. We’re going to need a lot of meat after a fight like that.” Sanji tried not to grin.

“Ok,” Luffy shrugged “Robin said that the marines have more ships coming so if you take too long then all the fighting will be over!” He directed this at Zoro, who looked at Sanji like a puppy who just lost his favourite bone.

“You’re coming with me, Marimo.”

Zoro snorted and made to walk past him. Sanji directed a kick at the biggest bloodstain on his previously snow white shirt. It really had been a beautiful shirt.

“Ow. Shit, ok!” Zoro grumbled and glared at the cook. His dark eyes simmered under the leather mask. His muscles rippled under the tight buckled straps as he turned and marched off into the forest - in the opposite direction to the ship.

Sanji watched his dimpled ass as it disappeared into the mist. Then he wiped up the puddle of drool collecting on his tie and ran after that magnificent ass into the forest, as fast as his long lusty legs would carry him.

\------------------


	12. Food For Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: SMUT. All the smut.

The mist seeped through the forest, sending tendrils winding through the huge trees. It made everything damp and tiny beads of moisture clung to every surface. Sanji watched Zoro as he marched through the undergrowth. He had already turned a complete circle but the cook was happy to just watch him. His skin glistened with dew, sweat and blood, his tight muscles strained against the remains of his shirt and the buckled straps which crossed his chest. He was still barefoot but it didn’t seem to bother him. He really was a cave man… everything that Sanji wasn’t: wild, fierce and raw.

Zoro was hacking through a group of vines with his hands. Only a few weeks ago he would have just drawn a sword and chopped down half the forest in one sweep. He was still clearing huge sections of path at a time. Sanji smiled at his student; caveman though he was, it looked like he was actually learning.

When had he started to like this kind of unrefined brutality? He always preferred delicate feminine features, long hair, slender bodies… He had started to list the ways that Zoro was different from the men he’d slept with when he remembered that Nami-san was waiting. The thought of her storming off the ship in a blind rage and discovering him with a mouthful of Marimo… He had to make this quick or there’d be hell to pay.

“Oi, moss-head,” the cook stopped and took a last long draw on his cigarette, sending the smoke out in a white haze to mingle with the mist.

“What!?” Zoro turned, sneering. Sanji could tell he wanted to get back to the ship and fight marines. Despite the fact that he was half naked and bleeding, he still hadn’t had enough. Sanji suppressed a grin. Violent bastard.

“We don’t need any supplies.”

Zoro stared at him through the mask. He looked very grumpy and very dangerous. Every bit the demon. The smile slowly wilted from the cook’s face.

“I just…” he stammered.

The swordsman quickly closed the gap between them until his face was just inches from Sanji’s.

“You just _what,_ cook?”

Zoro’s black hair made him look rougher. He narrowed his eyes and moved even closer, using his heavier physique to intimidate Sanji and lean over him. The cook felt a little thrill. This was the man that he had at his mercy. The man who had screamed out to be fucked… He could feel the colour rising in his cheeks when he thought about it. It also had a similar effect on other parts of him. He gulped and tried to think what he could say to Zoro that wouldn’t result in him being knocked unconscious and carried back to the ship like a lump of meat.

Zoro peered into his face with that quizzical look that resembled pain - his thinking face. Then he stepped back and looked the cook up and down, his eyes lingering on Sanji’s erection as they swept over his eager body.

“You pulled me out here for sex?” the dark eyes narrowed even further.

Sanji flushed a deeper shade of red.

“Why didn’t you say so, idiot?” Zoro punched him affectionately on the shoulder and sent him stumbling. Then the swordsman grabbed the blonde by his shirt so he wouldn’t fall backwards and pulled him sharply into his powerful arms.

“I’m sick of waiting…” he growled into Sanji’s ear. The cook felt the ache building as a jolt of electricity ran from his ear to his groin. He knew just what he was going to do and Zoro was happy to oblige. This day was turning out ok after all…

Sanji pulled away just a little,

“Then you should make yourself comfortable...” He let one hand travel from Zoro’s chest slowly down his stomach and then hooked his thumb into the broad belt. He just wanted to peel the last pieces of clothing from this perfect bronze body and hold all that raw power between his legs…

“Not this time you don’t.” The deep voice was abrupt and stern.

_Don’t what?_ _I barely touched him!_ The cook peered into Zoro’s dark eyes, raising a perplexed and frustrated eyebrow.

_What the hell was he up to now?_

Then it clicked.

He was having issues about what happened last time. That would be just like Zoro, he was so obsessed with being macho. He was probably finding it hard to accept the fact that he’d let another man fuck him… But it didn’t matter. The blonde thought it would be safer to leave that particular treat for a little while anyway. It was a lot of fun but it had really made things hard for him. _Very hard._ He had been permanently horny ever since. His body quivered with the memory of Zoro's flesh... And his attention span was as short as Luffy’s due to flashbacks of Zoro’s hard muscled body flexing above him as he came...

_Too hot._

Sanji mumbled into his fringe “…well, I’m pretty happy for you to fuck me if that’s what you mean…”

_Damn Marimo. He had liked it!_

The swordsman just smirked at him.

“What?”

“That’s not what I mean.” Zoro’s grin widened and took on a slightly sadistic edge. His dark eyes narrowed. The cook suddenly felt a little nervous. He lit another cigarette and took a deep breath of calming smoke.

Zoro drew out a katana, sheath and all, and pointed with it over the cook’s shoulder. His voice took on that tone that made hardened pirate’s blood run cold as ice.

“Cigarette out. Stand against that tree.”

“Stop being an idiot,” the blonde said. His voice sounded thin in comparison to Zoro’s throaty growl.

The swordsman leaned in and breathed warm air down the cook’s neck, then kissed along his jaw line.

“This time, I’m in charge…” he whispered into Sanji’s ear and then nibbled his throat, “Now get over there.”

The blonde wanted to shout. He wanted to scream that he was not going to be bossed around by an idiot Marimo… but somehow the swordsman’s deep rich voice, the dark mask, the black hair… the blood, the sweat… his lust filled eyes and his glistening body...

Sanji really had no choice. There was only one part of his anatomy left that still had enough blood in it to work properly. He would do whatever this painfully sexy brute told him to do.

The blonde put his smoke out and then walked over to the tree the swordsman had indicated. He ran his fingers lightly over its smooth bark. It could have been a lot worse, he was wearing one of his favourite suit jackets and something rough would have shredded it. He wondered what Zoro was going to do. It could be anything. He realised he didn't know that much about him beyond fighting and fucking... Then Zoro was in front of him, calloused hands on the cook’s chest, pressing him against the tree. The swordsman leaned in and put a sheathed katana between Sanji’s knees; gently but firmly pushing his legs apart.

The tip of the katana slowly travelled up the cook’s thigh and over his hips. The swordsman trailed his other hand up Sanji’s body until he held the cook’s chin in his hand. He looked the blonde deep in the eyes as he explored his body with the katana. He circled it over the cook’s stomach and around his nipples and then slid it back between Sanji’s legs. He pressed them just a little further apart.

“Take your clothes off,” the swordsman growled.

Zoro hadn’t moved so the cook didn’t have much room between the hard body and the tree. The katana rubbed against him as he wriggled out of his jacket. Then he took off his tie and his bright shirt and threw it all into the undergrowth. The tight leather straps crossing Zoro’s chest strained against his muscles. Sanji could smell the heat and the steel of the fight on him. Whatever he had in mind, the cook hoped that he’d start it soon. He wanted Zoro’s hands on him, his lips, his tongue… He wanted to taste the salt of his skin and hear him moaning in ecstasy.

“And them,” Zoro slowly pulled the katana up and out from between Sanji’s legs, applying the perfect amount of pressure as he did. He pointed it at the cook’s trousers before putting it back in his haramaki.

Sanji looked around. It was the middle of the afternoon and although it was still misty, the mist was lifting and the sun was peeking through. “We’re right next to a marine base!” he spluttered.

Zoro leaned in close and rubbed the cook’s nipples with his thumbs. He pressed their hips together and ground Sanji into the tree.

“If you argue, it’ll only make it worse,” he breathed the threat into the cook’s ear.

Sanji felt shivers running down his spine. His whole body tingled under Zoro’s touch. He didn’t care what else happened anymore, he wanted him _now_. He undid his belt. The swordsman leaned back and gave him room to take his shoes off; and then he unzipped his pants and let them fall.

“Much better,” the deep voice growled.

Sanji had a feeling that he was about to find out just what he had gotten himself into.

\-----------------

Zoro let his eyes travel slowly up; from long legs to slender hips, ribbed stomach to broad shoulders, pink lips to clear blue eyes… Perfect blonde and pale skin. Somehow still soft but deadly.

He was also being a lot more obedient than the swordsman had expected. Now that he’d had a bit of practice at this, he could finally experiment and find out what this new toy was capable of. He licked his lips in anticipation. He wanted to taste that sweet flesh and make Sanji swear and moan and scream. He ran his fingers through his hair, they came away dark from his hurried ‘dye job’. He wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, leaving a smudge of soot behind.

He took a long stride and put one hand on Sanji’s downy chin. He leaned in and kissed him, breathing in the smoke in his hair and leaving a dark mark on his pale face.

“Spread your legs,” he whispered into the blonde’s ear as his stroked his fingers down. A black stripe followed his caresses. Sanji looked down and opened his mouth to protest. Zoro put a dark finger to his soft lips.

“I’m going to make you dirty.”

The cook closed his mouth.

It was a _freaking miracle._

Zoro leaned over Sanji and pushed him slowly back against the tree. He put one of his legs firmly between the blonde’s and pressed Sanji’s throbbing erection with his hip. He put his hands on the tight pale flesh and stroked his way down as he sunk to his knees. He kissed Sanji’s thighs and pushed them just a little wider as he licked slowly back up those long, long legs. Sanji leaned back and let Zoro move his body as he liked. He moaned gently as Zoro stroked between his legs and nibbled the top of his thighs.

The swordsman could smell that hot scent which made his body ache; cooking, sex and smoke. He let his fingers hover, stroking Sanji lightly before taking him in his mouth. He was slow and deliberate, letting the pressure build up. The taste and the smell surrounded him, making the lust almost unbearable. He kept one hand stroking between Sanji’s thighs as he rolled his tongue gently around. The cook was a little bit more delicate than he was but that was to be expected. It really wasn’t that much different from being with a woman. Except Zoro didn’t have to worry about breaking him.

And he fucked like a _demon…_

He increased the pressure with his lips and Sanji’s breathing got faster. He flicked his tongue across Sanji’s cock and slowly pushed one finger inside him. The blonde groaned and bit his lip. Not good enough.

He pushed a second finger deep inside the cook as he let his lips slide down. Sanji swore and took a deep breath. Zoro pulled his fingers away slowly and then let them find a rhythm with his mouth.

“You shou… oh… fuck…” Sanji moaned and bucked his hips, rolling with Zoro’s movements. The swordsman let his tongue flick expertly. Finding weaknesses was what Zoro did best and this was one of the cook’s big ones. Sanji’s soft cries became louder and higher, he gasped and moaned. Finally, he threw his head back and let the shudders overtake him, cursing as he came.

The swordsman stood slowly, kissing the sooty flesh. He licked his lips, savouring the taste of Sanji’s orgasm. Then he let his rough lips graze the perfect pink nipples; the cook breathed heavily and leaned back. His whole body was hyper sensitive from the blissful rush. Zoro was driving him wild just by licking his nipples and kissing his throat. He could feel the blood rushing to his groin again already.

Zoro stood back and took in the sight of the dishevelled blonde. His cheeks were flushed, his body was covered in smudges of soot and his hair was a mess. Zoro undid the cursed straps and finally let them fall to the ground. His shirt fell apart, only sticking around the knife wound. It was only a shallow wound. He wouldn’t have to go easy. He peeled the shirt away and then pulled his belt off and threw them near Sanji’s pile of expensive suit. The blonde looked much better this way.

Zoro moved back between Sanji’s legs. The cook’s fingers went to his trousers and undid the belt with ease. Sanji slid his hands down Zoro’s ass and squeezed as he pushed his trousers down. The swordsman kicked his last clothing away and then pressed their naked bodies together. Sanji leaned in and kissed him deeply, then started biting his throat. Zoro growled with lust.

_Damn ero-cook._

The blonde lifted his head, side-stepped out of Zoro’s grasp and strolled over to their clothing. He picked up a bottle from his jacket pocket and handed it to the swordsman with a grin.

“We can’t take too long,” he said. It was a good excuse. He didn't want to admit how much he wanted Zoro inside him.

“Is that so?” Zoro pulled the cook close. He wound his fingers around Sanji’s soft blonde curls and then stroked his erection. Looked like the cook had good stamina. That was going to be very useful… Zoro coated himself with oil and then he ground their bodies together again. Sanji moaned at the contact with his tender flesh.

“Turn around,” Zoro guided the cook’s hips until he was facing the tree trunk.

“Put your hands out. Lean forward.”

The blonde was quite a sight. Perfect ass to the sky in the afternoon sun, legs slightly spread, covered in soot… Zoro gently rubbed a dirty hand between Sanji’s pert ass cheeks, teasing and tempting.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Mmmmm…” Sanji nodded. His messy gold hair lit up in the sun like a beacon.

Zoro ground himself against the cook’s ass and leaned over to whisper to him,

“You sure?”

Sanji moaned and bucked his hips.

Zoro slid into the cook; letting the powerful sensation take over. A combination of pure pleasure and something more… He was just so _fucking tight_. The swordsman pulled back and let his body guide him to that weak spot… slow but firm, he drove the blonde into the tree. Sanji moaned and pushed back, his knuckles white against the pale grey bark. Zoro could feel him bucking and struggling. He held the blonde fast and pushed him forwards, watching the perfect ass clenching over him.

It was a sight that made all the blood go straight to his groin; something was missing though… He slowed and kissed down the cook’s back before pulling away. Sanji grumbled and turned around.

“What’s your fucking problem?” he pouted.

Zoro grinned as he finally figured out what he wanted. He wanted to look the arrogant bastard in the eyes as he took control. The blonde might be all leg and muscle but he was light as a feather in weight training terms. Zoro stepped forwards, put his arms around Sanji’s waist and lifted the blonde into the air. He held him up, with his back against the tree.

“Put your legs up. Both of them.” Zoro stroked Sanji’s cock and kissed him deeply.

The swordsman lifted those flexible legs around his waist and leaned in to look into that one blue eye as their bodies joined.

“That ok?” The swordsman asked, as he stroked his hands up that warm lithe body. The blonde groaned as Zoro slid inside him and then returned the kiss with a vengeance, biting Zoro’s split lip and making him horny as hell.

Zoro held Sanji against the tree trunk as if he was as light as air. It meant that he could pull his hips way back and dive into Sanji without warning. The cook had no control, Zoro’s powerful body moved him and moved in him as the swordsman directed. His movements were slow, forceful and precise; he fucked just like he fought. It was a new experience for Sanji; he’d always been with people who liked him to do all the work. Now he was at the swordsman’s mercy…

This time Zoro could feel every part of the cook and he could control his movements totally. He held onto Sanji’s knees and used the pressure of his hips to grind the cook into the bark. Zoro brushed the messy damp strands of gold from the cook’s face as he drove into him. He wanted to pleasure Sanji with every part of his finely tuned body. He wanted to the cook to feel his strength with every hard thrust. The blonde’s breathing was ragged and irregular; he was starting to moan again. Zoro kept his movements slow but he held the blonde close as he ground their powerful bodies together.

Sanji’s body was on fire, responding to every jerk of Zoro’s hips. He couldn’t think straight and he couldn’t even talk - his breath was ragged and his throat was dry from gasping and moaning. For once, he wanted to be controlled... to let his body give in to the pure raw power. All his senses were ablaze, the swordsman’s deep thrusts sent jolts of pleasure shooting through him. Zoro’s hands stroked his pale skin deftly and his lips and tongue followed. His body quivered under Zoro’s touch, his caress, his gilded tongue... Every part of him was licked, teased and abused as Zoro ground his body mercilessly.

The swordsman increased speed, pounding the blonde harder and thrusting into him with precision. The blonde’s moans got shorter and more desperate; he started to whimper as his body gave in to the swordsman’s rough thrusts. Zoro was unrelenting, pinning him down and taking his body to the limit of rapture. He wrapped his fingers in Zoro’s hair and desperately tightened his grip on the swordsman. Zoro responded by ramming him hard against the bark. He could feel the heat and force of the powerful body inside him. Zoro’s breath was hot on his face as he growled with building lust. The swordsman swore and closed his hands on Sanji’s hips as he came, loud and hard. The cook could feel him throbbing, hot and Zoro lifted the blonde up off his hips and slammed him into the tree, hammering into him with the raw force of orgasm. Sanji felt the swordsman fill him and heard his animal roar as he reached his own climax. The full force of it hit him and his body quaked with the first rolling waves of bliss. Zoro pulled them together, his thrusts slow and powerful and Sanji gasped and swore. Finally, the swordsman leaned in and kissed the blonde deeply.

“Thanks. That was good.” Zoro mumbled into Sanji’s fringe.

He had quite a talent for understatement.

“I need a cigarette,” the cook replied. He could do understatement _just fine_. Anyway, he felt like he’d been fucked for a week. Zoro slowly pulled away from him and lowered him back onto the ground. He let his dark eyes travel slowly up the blonde’s smudged, sooty and blood covered body. Nami would have a fit if she saw him like this. He smirked.

“What?” Sanji asked as he lit his smoke.

“Nothing.”

\------------------

The days had been slow and dull. They’d trained and trained and trained and trained… until Sanji was bruised and Zoro was frustrated as hell.

It was only natural that eventually they’d move on to something a little more entertaining.

“Oi. What are you doing?”

Sanji and Zoro froze.

“Looks like fun!” Luffy strolled into the galley and squatted down next to Sanji.

“My turn next Zoro!!!!” he said, beaming.

The cook and the swordsman lunged apart and did their best job of pretending that nothing had been happening.

“Come on Zoro! Kiss me!!!!” Luffy grinned wide and shoved his head towards the swordsman.

Zoro couldn’t help it. He smiled. That idiot of a Captain, he was just so damn… childish. So innocent. It was hard not to admire him, deciding that he could be Pirate King even though he was so hopeless... Zoro’s thought process was interrupted again as Sanji knuckled his head into the table and stood up. Luffy stared at the back of Zoro’s head then turned his wide eyes on the blonde.

“What do you want for dinner?” the cook asked the comically gaping monkey.

“Meat!” the Straw Hat Captain screamed predictably, before turning his attention back to Zoro. The distraction hadn’t worked quite as well as the cook had hoped.

“Awwww Zorooooooo….” Luffy whined “if you’re in love you should tell me. I was getting my hopes up….” he sighed and then stood up again.

“Hey Chopper!!!!” Luffy screamed “Wanna go fishing?!” He strode to the door and then hesitated “I don’t mind, you know…” he said quietly, before disappearing out onto the deck.

Zoro and Sanji just stared at each other.

“Hey Zoro,” said Sanji.

“Umph?” said Zoro.

“What just happened?”

“Fucked if I know.” The swordsman shrugged and tried to turn his brain off. It didn’t work.

In the silence, Sanji let the implications of what had just happened sink in. Luffy knew what was happening. And he didn’t mind. But what if he told the ladies? The thought made Sanji quake with fear. Luffy wasn’t exactly known throughout the Eastern Blue for his subtlety, now was he? What would his precious Nami-san think if she knew he took it from a hairy Marimo?!

Robin might not mind… he mused, momentarily distracted by a sweet lingering fantasy or two… but Nami? It was too terrible to even think about.

But there was one thing even worse than that.

_Luffy preferred Zoro!_

He hadn’t asked him for a kiss now had he? _Damn Marimo bastard._

_I’m heaps sexier than you._

He glared at Zoro.

Zoro didn’t notice though. His mind was just -slightly- occupied with other things.

 _In love?_ With the shitty cook?

_No way._

_Not possible._

Roronoa Zoro did not fall in love.

He didn’t have sex with men either.

And he certainly didn’t take it from a shitty sissy-ass cook.

He sighed.

“Oi,” Sanji’s voice cut through his thoughts “Don’t you dare chuck a tantrum you moody bastard.”

Zoro found his train of thought… that’s right. Luffy hadn’t said it when HE did anything. He said it when Sanji hit him.

_Maybe the cook was in love with him…_

“Oi! I said stop sulking Marimo!” Sanji’s high pitched bitching voice. So damn girly. Zoro tried hard not to smile. For some reason, sulking was the last thing on his mind.

He looked up. Sanji was all embarrassed pink cheeks and indignant curly eyebrow. Zoro lazily leaned forward, grabbed the blonde around the waist and pulled him down into his lap. They may not be able to fuck here and now but he knew he didn’t want to talk anymore.

\--------------


	13. Dutch Courage

Zoro felt pretty good for a while. Luffy didn’t care. True, Sanji had gone a bit cold after the Captain saw them together but he’d probably warm up again... given the way he’d reacted to Luffy being... _Luffy._

Maybe. With luck.

The swordsman savoured the sweet memories while he sat in the crow’s nest each night and looked out over the restless ocean. Memories of Sanji’s face smiling across at him as they sat in silence and had breakfast before anyone else was awake. Of Sanji’s blue eyes shining when Zoro made him laugh. It didn’t happen that often but the swordsman had been trying harder.

The way his lips embraced every lucky cigarette. The way he wiped Zoro’s face with a cloth when no-one was around and told him he was disgusting ...and then blushed.

Why did he blush if he didn’t want to be seen with him? It was too confusing. So he hid in the sweet memories and fantasies of the blonde dirty and crying out for more, as Zoro finally had his way. No confusion there. It was _good._

Slowly as the nights drifted by the swordsman realised that it was more than just lust. He had enjoyed having just a little bit of control. Just a little bit of power. Even though he knew he could stop it in an instant. Even though he knew it was up to him what happened as well... Something about Sanji was making him feel vulnerable. He didn’t like it.

He liked the sex, he even liked a stolen kiss here and there (cook’s lips were so damn soft). Normally he’d just wait and see how it panned out... but he felt so uncertain. What the hell had that stupid cook done to him?

And that was before Luffy had seen them together and stuck his foot in it.

Now that Sanji’s worst fear had come true...

Not thinking about it.

He let his body take over and let it drive him. He ate, slept, drank and trained. That was all. He tried to meditate but his thoughts wouldn’t settle, so he lost himself in the pain of forming muscles. He was closer to defeating her. He was closer to righting his past somehow by fighting his demons.

He knew he could fight smoker now. He might still crumble looking at that girl with Kunia’s face... but it would be easier knowing that he could hurt her without killing. He was starting to transfer that control better down the blade. He was always good with the backs of his blades but this was different. He could hold all the force of a driving blow inside the metal and only transfer it to what the katana touched. He could carve his name in perfect brush strokes while keeping a leaf floating in the air. On a sailing ship, it was no mean feat.

Slowly all the skills that he had learned were coming together. Old memories of things that his Sensei had said years ago. New things that Luffy, Sanji and his other nakama had said. All his training and his hard lifestyle had led him here to this. He was still getting better and he felt like he was only just beginning to be the swordsman he could be. The warrior he would be.

But something was still missing.

_Damn it._

\--------------------

The ship lurched through the vast unpredictable waters of the Grand Line. The dark clouds that covered the moon hung deep over the black sea, pressing down with all their might. Zoro was sitting, back against the railing taking a deep breath. He needed it. His stomach cramped again and he leaned out over the water.

He could hear laughter from the galley and the sound of a door closing, then footsteps. Anyone but _him_.

“Hey Zoro,” Luffy called out across the deck “you have to go in there; you’ll laugh!”

Zoro’s head spun and he closed his eyes. _Just Luffy._

The Captain chuckled and sat down next to the swordsman, clapping him on the shoulder and sending waves of nausea radiating out through his whole body.

“Nami is shouting at Sanji for letting you drink so much. She said it was a whole month’s worth for all of us. Sugoi! No wonder you’re so sick!” Luffy laughed loud and clapped Zoro on the back again for good measure; sending the swordsman’s stomach into a frenzy.

Once Zoro had finally finished hurling and taken another deep breath, he managed to get up the composure to talk.

“Luffy.”

Luffy sat stretching one of his fingers in and out like a rubber band.

“Yeah?” he said finally.

“ _Fuck off_.”

“No.” The Captain grinned and shook his head emphatically. The motion made the swordsman’s eyes go fuzzy and he felt another wave of nausea starting to build.

Damn it. Zoro felt like absolute shit. He liked drinking and it suited him. But tonight the sake didn’t like him back. He had never been this sick before and he could still remember every little reason why he had wanted to get this drunk in the first place. He just wanted to sleep but now he was too sick. What a stupid fucking idea this had been.

“I want to be alone.”

“No you don’t, baka. You love Sanji.”

“That’s not for you to deci...”

Zoro’s stomach flipped over and went from breast stroke to back stroke.

“I know,” Luffy grinned even wider. He stared off into the horizon as Zoro tried to get control of his throat enough to spit out a few words. The rocking of the ship, his churning stomach and the nauseating smell of sake were all robbing him of the power to form a coherent thought, let alone speak. How the hell did he get so drunk?

_Fuck. It didn’t matter. Only one thing mattered._

What would he do when he woke up sober tomorrow?

“You don’t get it. I don’t love Sanji.” _Deep breath._ The cramping was starting to subside slowly but it was being replaced by something much worse. Zoro could almost feel the gears turning in his head as his brain tried to work through the alcohol to get to the problems underneath.

He didn’t want to think about this.

“You guys seem to have fun together.” Luffy stared out at whatever it was that he saw on that distant horizon. His eyes shone.

Something inside Zoro cracked like a dam breaking. He felt a hard lump form in the middle of his chest and crush the air out of him.

_Fun._

“Fun but _no more._ His game, his rules.”

Luffy turned his eyes down from that distant dream and levelled them on his First Mate. His brow furrowed a little bit and then relaxed as he held out his hand. Zoro braced for another nauseating thump and was surprised when Luffy put the hand gently on his shoulder and just sat with him in silence.

Zoro’s drunken body reacted to the thought of the cook pleasantly. His mind was not so sure. He couldn’t tell if he could still think straight. He wanted Sanji. Sanji didn’t want anyone to see them together. So if he loved the cook, then that was his problem.

_Big if._

_Big problem..._

_Stop thinking. Too drunk to think about this now._

The swordsman focussed on the sounds of the water and the wind creaking in the sails. He looked out at the horizon and saw nothing but dark wet thunder clouds. Finally he sighed.

“It just couldn’t work, ok. You get it?” The swordsman finally looked up and met Luffy’s dark innocent eyes.

“Yeah, I understand...”

Well, at least tha..

“…mystery love!!!”

Luffy grinned and jumped to his feet. Then he sauntered off - whistling into the wind like his life was made of sunshine and bunny rabbits.

\---------------------------

Luffy walked back to the galley whistling and giggling at the funny shades of green that Zoro was tonight. He looked like a drunken snotty forest.

As he walked into the galley Nami, Usopp and Sanji all looked up expectantly. Chopper grabbed the Captain by the knees and held on tight. They must want to know how Zoro is. Chopper said if he drank too much then he could get poisoned and die. Zoro couldn’t get poisoned by sake. That’s silly!

“He’s fine! He’s just all green and grumpy, pretty much like normal…” Luffy grinned and tried to reassure Chopper and Sanji together. Chopper had been scared stupid. Nami had been pretty grumpy at how much Zoro drank. Robin had laughed and gone to bed to read. Sanji had gone all quiet.

No wonder Zoro was so worried about him.

“Did you see if his pupils were dilated? Did his breathing sound normal? Was he responding to verbal prompts appropriately? Did you ask him h…” Chopper was scuttling across the floor hyperventilating and speaking at about a million miles an hour. Luffy stared at him trying to figure out if his whole body would eventually turn as blue as his nose. Could fur turn blue? He wondered if you were meant to pour water on someone who fainted or if you were meant to hit them. Might as well try both.

Usopp picked up the fuzzy Doctor and put him on his knee. Usopp had been keeping Chopper from running out and poking the swordsman with medical instruments for the last hour. Luffy was pretty sure the marksman had been doing Chopper a big favour. Zoro was pretty grumpy and sometimes when he’d had too much to drink he liked to spar. But his aim could be a little off...

It was so funny!

“Chopper!” Usopp said, leaning down so he could look the furry tyke in the eyes. “Zoro is a great warrior, we just need to give him water and time to sleep and he’ll be fine. Calm down a little.”

“Water, that’s a good idea, now I just have to see how much he’s…” In a second Chopper had wriggled out of Usopp’s lap and was mumbling to himself as he paced up and down the room. Usopp just looked at Luffy and shrugged.

Luffy scratched his hat and tilted his head. Zoro was sad because Sanji didn’t love him. Maybe if they just had some time to talk then they’d be able to work it out. They might not talk but even if they had a chance... Luffy hated to see his nakama upset. He knew they were both strong and proud but they both needed someone to care for them too. It was so obvious the way they always tried to rescue each other and outdo each other. They wanted to be the one to protect everyone so badly because they felt they couldn’t rely on anyone else. They were both getting better now they had nakama but they each had an empty spot that bravado only made heavier.

...Or maybe they just had a fight cause he tried to kiss Zoro.

Zoro was hot! Of course he was going to ask. He thought Zoro didn’t like anyone that way. Who knew!? When they had first started travelling together, the Captain had hoped... But it just never seemed right. He felt lonely after leaving home. He just wanted to fill the void in his heart with love for another. He knew that it would happen eventually but the waiting could be hard. He loved his nakama so much and they made his life worth living. They were part of his dream. If he could help them find something to fill their hearts...

Sanji was a bit funny sometimes about the swordsman... If it wasn’t love, then it was something that looked a lot like it from a distance. They are both great guys but they didn’t seem to know what they wanted.

Time to act like a Captain. _Yosh!_

“Hey Sanji. Maybe if y..”

“He’ll be fine!!!!” Sanji shouted.

Chopper stopped padding across the room and stared up at the cook. Usopp narrowed his eyes at the blonde and Luffy grinned. Sanji drew a little breath, shocked at the volume of his own voice.

“We shouldn’t encourage the stupid Marimo to be a drunk....” he mumbled into his fringe.

“You’re the one who gave him the damn sake,” Nami muttered into her spiced hot chocolate. Sanji was pretty sure it was the only thing keeping her from storming out. He hated the thought that he had upset her. He pushed his churning emotions to the back of his mind. Then he shot a death stare which would shake the grim reaper at Luffy and went back to the stove to make another lot of chocolate.

Luffy blithely ignored the look of death and went on to plan two. These guys might be stubborn but he was much more stubborn than them! Maybe not Zoro... But Sanji for sure!

“Hey Sanji. Zoro threw up all over the deck! It’s really gross!” Luffy pinched his nose and made graphic lurching and hurling motions. Nami stared at him and rolled her eyes.

“That’s it. I’m going to bed. Let me know tomorrow if he rolled off the deck and into the ocean; I’ll plot a course to go find him.” She pushed the bench out from under the table and left with a mumbled “’night everyone...”

Sanji stared at the door for at least a minute after she left. Then he turned around and kicked Luffy in the back of the head. His forehead made a cracking noise on the wooden table and left a neat indent.

Luffy bounced back with that irrepressible smile and turned to face the smoking, smouldering, raging cook. He really had the worst temper on the ship. Except maybe Nami. They were both pretty fun when they got excited! Zoro sulked like a man going for a Guild Award but Sanji could get pretty hot under the collar. The Captain wondered how many more indents the table would have by the end of the night.

Maybe if he kept moving seats then the lumps and dents would be even.

“She’s not angry at you anyway, she’s angry at Zoro!” Luffy grinned up and pointed out towards the deck as if he might have somehow managed to forget about the big oaf. Sanji had a chef’s nose and it was highly tuned. Right now, with the puke and the sake he couldn’t have forgotten Zoro if he was on the bottom of the ocean. He stank!

Sanji stared back at Luffy with big blue eyes full of frustration.

Usopp looked back from one to the other and tried to figure out if he’d missed something. “Yeah,” he finally said “she’ll get over it tomorrow. She’ll just make him rearrange the cargo with a hangover and then it’ll all be fine again. Just do what I do and make sure you don’t see her until she’s had a good shout.”

Usopp laughed quietly. It would be better if Nami didn’t hear him. She could be a little scary. Sanji gave him a stare almost as deadly as the one he’d just levelled at Luffy.

He was probably just angry because his sweet Mellorine was angry. She didn’t really blame Sanji for letting the swordsman get into the sake. They all knew that he did everything humanly possible to keep the cupboards locked but with Luffy and Zoro to contend with, he WAS only human after all!

Usopp considered telling Sanji all this and then he remembered the look of simmering rage that he’d just copped. So he gave up and went back to stuffing gunpowder into his new slingshot pellets. No point trying to be friendly if Sanji was just going to light up like a lightning storm every time he opened his mouth!

Sometimes it was safer just to let people figure things out for themselves.

“Hey Sanji!" said Luffy, “Maybe when Zoro passes out we can shave his head!” The Captain practically fell off his seat laughing. Sanji’s body went a little rigid but he kept just spooning the cinnamon and nutmeg into the chocolate.

Luffy continued, “Maybe we could give him a Mohawk! Then we could use his head to play bowls!” Usopp looked up from tying off his last pellet and decided to call it a night; this was starting to sound dangerous. He’d been in a few of Luffy’s ship board ‘pranks’ before and when it involved Zoro, Sanji or Nami, it was always way too dangerous.

“I’m going to do my rounds and make sure that everything is ok. Someone has to keep an eye on things around here.” Usopp swelled his chest up and marched out the door. Just as his nose cleared the door frame he remembered something he had promised Robin he’d say next time Luffy started talking late night pranks.

“And don’t do anything stupid, Luffy.” He said in his best teacher’s voice. Then he scuttled out of there as quickly as he could, knowing the likely effect those words would have on the man who would be Pirate King.

Luffy laughed and rubbed his hands together. “Hey.....” Sanji stared at the top of the Captain’s head, ready to strike. “...Chopper! You should have some more chocolate! You’re going wear a hole in the floor.” Luffy felt Sanji step back behind him. The table would be happy!

“Ummm.” Chopper stopped pacing and looked around the room as if he had just woken up and he wasn’t sure where he was.

“Uh... yeah. More chocolate...” he mumbled. Sanji poured him a cup and handed it down. Chopper took it absent mindedly and drank it down in one gulp. He stared at the empty cup and then his eyes went wide as saucers.

“Oh no! Sanji! Why did you give me that! I can never stay awake after I have too much of that stuff! What do you put in it anyway? It’s like a highl..” Chopper stifled a yawn and his eyelids started to droop.

“Do you want any Sanji?” Luffy asked. Sanji shook his head listlessly and stared out the window. It was lucky he didn’t. Luffy had already stretched across the kitchen and rescued the pot from the stove. By the time he had finished draining the entire contents, Chopper was asleep on the bench. Luffy grinned down at him as he dumped the empty pot in the sink. He was so cute!

Sanji looked down at the sleeping figure and smiled. All the rage seemed to drain out of him. He sighed deeply and looked down at his hands.

“What, Luffy?” he finally said.

“So you want to go shave his head?”

Sanji shook himself from his troubling thoughts and looked up.

“I couldn’t get near him. He _reeks_.” He smiled just a little as he lit another cigarette and looked out the porthole towards the ocean and the man he was sleeping with.

“We can hose him first,” Luffy suggested.

Sanji laughed softly and replied,

“Maybe we should just tie him to a running line and drag him behind the ship till he sobers up. I hear it’s traditional.”

“Oh yeah. The song! Maybe we should do a different verse every night!” Luffy laughed and starting singing - badly.

“Shave his belly with a rusty razor! What a bunch of idiots!”

Sanji’s eyebrow twitched as he looked out the porthole. He was not going to even try to figure out what the hell was happening with Zoro. There was always something. For a man who claimed to have no emotions, he spent a hell of a lot of time brooding. The cook had asked him once what he was thinking.

‘Nothing,’ he’d said.

So he _had_ tried. But that was Zoro. He was a big muscle headed idiot with an emotional disorder.

Sanji figured it was just a matter of time before the swordsman would realise that what he wanted was not what the cook wanted and then he’d come over for the ‘It was all a terrible mistake’ speech.

Sanji had heard it a million times. It was fine. It was fun while it lasted. Just a couple of ship mates relieving some tension. He couldn’t really have expected it to end any different.

“Hey Luffy,” he said to the Captain. Luffy’s eyes were lit up - Sanji figured - by thoughts of the mischief he was hoping to make.

“Yeah?”

Sanji looked into those dark shining eyes. It was like the guy’s life was all springtime and strawberries.

“Nothing,” he said.

Luffy wouldn’t understand.

“Ok,” said the Captain. He smiled.

\------------------------

The next day, the sun shone brightly and reflected off the waves like a thousand diamonds. Sanji looked out into the clear morning sky and enjoyed his cigarette. Somehow he felt better now it was morning and they were getting close to the next island. A new place to go, new things to see - especially girls. He was also just a little amused by the sight of poor Zoro carrying sacks of flour and barrels of water across the deck one way and then the other. Usopp had been right on the money.

The swordsman was squinting into the glare and his face was a curious shade of green. He had gotten up when it was still dark to sluice the deck. He must have been embarrassed. Sanji had filed that titbit away for relentless teasing later. Nami had woken up and found the swordsman cleaning and started giving him a nice long list of things he could do to redeem himself. She always seemed to know what would make Zoro feel better. Once he’d done his penance he always looked much happier. Sanji puffed and contemplated the two of them. They kind-of had similar personalities. They were both independent, strong willed and cute as hell when they were angry.

But Nami was so much more... _everything_. Everything he was used to looking for.

“Nami-schwan! I have prepared a delicious breakfast for you!” he cooed over the banister.

“Thank you Sanji-kun!” she called out, before returning to issue a barrage of commands at Zoro who sagged visibly. Sanji felt a little twinge of pity, even though the idiot had done it to himself.

“You too, Marimo. Assholes! Breakfast is ready!” He shouted out over the chaos. Luffy had only been awake for half an hour and he’d already made a castle out of the next month’s supplies and all of Usopp’s wood for repairing the ship.

By the time Sanji had returned from delivering the news about breakfast personally to Robin, the crew had crowded into the galley. He handed out the fruit salad to everyone except Luffy, who had helped himself. He thought that fruit might be good for a delicate stomach. He was quite proud of them actually – the ladies’ the most – the towers of colour were perfectly coordinated. It had taken him a while.

Zoro stared at it like it was a brightly coloured animal he’d never seen before that might jump off the table and eat his face. Everyone else tucked in but the swordsman just poked his and looked at it. Sanji tried to ignore him. He must still be really sick, Sanji told himself. He wasn’t just trying to be an ass.

Finally it just got too much for him.

“Don’t play with your damn food!” The blonde snapped.

“I don’t know how to eat this fancy shit!” Zoro growled back.

“Just put it in your mouth and chew you idiot, it’s not that hard,” Sanji grumbled. Cave man.

Luffy laughed and demonstrated to Zoro by swallowing the rest of his salad in one gulp.

…“NOT LIKE THAT!!!” Sanji shouted, hitting Luffy in the back of the head and sending his head flying.

_Luffy – 0, Sanji – 2, Table – not that happy._

After they had finished breakfast, Sanji stayed to clean up. While he was prepping the leftover fruit to make sauce Luffy came back in to the galley. He shuffled sheepishly around the door until Sanji turned and asked,

“What?”

“I just thought that maybe this time when we go ashore we can have a quiet time and get that holiday we missed. I know you were looking forward to it,” he grinned and scuttled out the door before Sanji could reply.

The blonde blinked twice and rubbed his eyes. When Luffy started making plans, then they were really in trouble.

\----------------------


	14. Bigger Fish to Fry

Sanji stood on the deck of the Merry with his hands in his pockets and took in the scene on the docks. Shops were open, with canopies shading people who were drinking tea and coffee from the sun. He could smell the rich aroma of a light roasted blend on the breeze. He would have to try to find some nice coffee for Nami and Chopper. They preferred something more delicate than what suited Robin.

He had gotten used to the individual tastes of the crew pretty quickly and he enjoyed surprising them with a treat when he could. Nami would turn her long lashed eyes on him and thank him for being so considerate… Her gratitude was more than enough reward for any feat of love! Might have to try to find Marimo some green tea as well. He liked to drink it sometimes at night and it was hard to find in the Grand Line. No harm in just having a look in case there was some around. Idiot had better be grateful.

The sun was shining and there was a gentle breeze, just enough to lift up skirts and just warm enough to wear them. Perfect weather. Nami wasn’t wearing one unfortunately but she looked gorgeous anyway. So did Robin.

_Of course._

Zoro still looked worse for wear after his rather indecent night on the deck. At the moment all the cook could see of him was a tiny tuft of green sticking out behind a tower of supplies and junk. Nami had decided there were some things they could trade and a few extra tools they needed, so Zoro had landed the job of pack mule. _Again._ Now the swordsman was edging down the gangplank very slowly, craning and trying to see around his load so he didn’t cartwheel into the sea. The muscles in his arms bulged and his back rippled under his thin white t-shirt. Even though he wasn’t carrying much, a light film of sweat added shine to his rich dark skin. Sanji chewed his lip thoughtfully as he watched the swordsman stumble onto the dock, nearly losing the top of his pile in the process. He would be useless in a fight for at least a few hours. His long suffering body had obviously lost its centre of balance after being subjected to such abuse. But then if Sanji drank as much as Zoro, as often as Zoro, on a ship sailing the rough waters of the Grand Line...

It made him feel queasy just thinking about it.

Zoro finally regained his balance and was escorted away by Nami to find the closest thing they had here to a market. Sanji was tempted to go and have a look himself just to see what sort of food they had but he knew that they were staying for a few days at least so it was probably better to wait. Not that a stay was ever guaranteed but he had made sure they had enough supplies to last even if Luffy got up to his usual tricks. That boy really was the king of creative exits…

Luffy had jumped ashore and started running wildly in circles taking everything in. When he finally calmed down a little, he decided he was hungry so he told Nami that he was taking the rest of the crew to find a bar for lunch. He had taken a single large gold coin from the spoils from Vesper Island and declared it the Captain’s share - dedicated to team building.

Well, not in as many words.

The idea of actually trying to get along had caused a lot of groans from Zoro and Usopp but Sanji was more than happy to build teams. As long as he could be in a team with Nami and Robin. Maybe Zoro when he woke up. Although he did look kind of cute with his eyes all screwed up against the forget-me-not blue sky, even if he was hung over and slightly useless.

The swordsman tripped on an uneven stone and staggered left, then over corrected right and staggered back the other way nearly knocking over one of the more lovely specimens gracing the docks with their radiant beauty.

Make that _very useless._

“Hey Sanji! You coming?” Luffy called out from the other end of the stone-paved street.

Sanji gathered his thoughts and took a last look at the couple of lovely ladies in view while he ground out his smoke.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.”

The cook enjoyed the stroll along the bustling streets to the nearest bar. Luffy seemed to be holding out so far. The blonde had been preparing for the worst but now he thought that maybe he had been a bit harsh. He had bailed the Captain into a corner that night and told him in hushed tones to keep his damn mouth shut. No matter what, Nami and Robin could not know anything. Luffy had opened his rubber mouth to protest but Sanji had managed to silence him with a look of violence and desperation. Luffy had understood. Even if he could be oblivious, he had a heart that bled like no-one else.

The streets were lined with one and two story thatched cottages and sweet smelling smoke spiralled up in the air from scattered cooking fires. Sanji smelt unknown herbs and began to fantasise about what he would order for lunch. Before he knew it, Luffy was shoving him into a low doorway and babbling about beer made from meat.

Sanji scanned the pub and then went to sit down. It was only once he’d turned his back that he fully registered what he had just seen. At the other end of the bar, curled up in the corner on a red velvet couch, sat the most gorgeous couple that the cook had ever seen. A perfect pair of beauties, both with long black hair and dressed in figure hugging black satin, open wide at the neck. Her neckline revealed a heaving creamy white bosom, his showing defined ripples of muscle drawing the eye ever further south. The cook stole a glance over his shoulder, just to confirm that they were real. They were. With his nose cupped in a handkerchief, Sanji went to find a seat where he could watch this exquisite pair in comfort.

He couldn’t figure out which one he wanted more. The woman had high proud cheek bones and a figure that was pure heaven. She smiled sweetly and whispered in the man’s ear as she twirled his hair between her fingers. He looked up with bright green eyes and caught her hand, kissing it before he released it. His face was long and his almond shaped eyes added to his feminine beauty. This was the sort of man that Sanji had always loved. Sensual lips and soft skin… he was dramatically splayed across the couch displaying as much of his bare chest as possible. He was young - the same age as Luffy probably - and charismatic. He had one arm cradled around his lady’s slender waist and the other held a drink high as he laughed and made a toast.

Luffy leapt onto a bar stool and started to order everything he could pronounce on the menu. After that, he made Sanji order the rest. He didn’t mind, at least there was a chance that the rest of them would get some dinner that way. The cook found a limited wine list and went through it with Robin until they had settled on something that sounded decent. It was lovely to have someone on the crew who appreciated the finer things in life. He had a feeling that Robin had missed out on so much and he loved the look of surprise and joy on her face when she tried something for the first time and _loved it._

He was finding it hard to focus on Robin though. He loved to talk to her and she was as charming as ever… but he couldn’t help watching the dark haired couple out of the corner of his eye. They were so exotic… such dark hair but such pale skin, long fine bones and full generous figures. Between them and Robin leaning in to point at the various choices on the menu, the cook was in sensory overload. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears as Robin’s soft smell of ink and coffee wafted over him. _How blissful…_ He ended up just staring into middle distance, drooling ever so slightly.

When Sanji came back to his senses, he realised he was staring at a crotch. He blinked and looked up into stern dark eyes. Zoro looked at the cook and then swivelled to look at the couple draped on the couch and then turned to face the cook again, his eyebrow raised quizzically.

Sanji glanced around for something else to stare at, flustered by Zoro’s calm, penetrating gaze. He didn’t have to look for long. Behind Zoro, Nami had come in with a triumphant smile.

“Robin, we are going shopping tomorrow!” She beamed and the bag in her left hand clinked as she threw it up and caught it. “I’ll just go and pay for our rooms.”

The redhead strolled off towards the bar and Sanji realised that Marimo had taken a seat in the darkest corner and was already into the sake. His colour was starting to return to normal. No-one else would even be able to look at alcohol but Zoro… well. He seemed to be a real glutton for punishment.

_Amongst other things…_

The wine was brought out and Sanji got the pleasure of seeing Robin’s face light up when she tried it. The food came and it was pretty good. Simple, filling and hearty. Good food for sea faring men who needed the energy to survive in a world of storms, fights and wild fortunes. Nami was happy because she had made more at the market than she had hoped, so he was happy too. Plus, Marimo came out of his corner and enjoyed his meal. He was almost civilised after he’d finished three sakes and then finally gone on to water. It couldn’t be good for him… the cook mused as he lit a cigarette.

Luffy was the one who had behaved a bit weird. First after ordering dinner, he actually sat down and waited for it to come all the way out of the kitchen. Then he ate his food. No-one else’s. He even chewed. Robin had narrowed her eyes and looked the Captain over before grinning and continuing her meal. Sanji wondered if this was a part of Luffy’s plan to have a quiet holiday. Not causing a massive bar fight probably was a good start. Especially considering what had happened last time. Damn Luffy. He was just a *tad* enthusiastic.

So, he wasn’t very reliable but he could certainly do the unexpected sometimes. Maybe Sanji could get a quiet night alone with the swordsman before he got ditched… Nothing wrong with a little something to remember him by. They’d had a couple of nice moments in between the fighting and the abuse. Sanji sighed and pondered what he was going to do. Contingency plans all the way. Zoro was so damn random though… he was hard to predict. Hmmm. He’d need to hedge his bets… _Actually…_

The cook had sidled over to the navigator and offered her a bet that Luffy could last the next twenty-four hours without getting into trouble. Her eyes lit up with berri signs and she took the bet in a second. Sanji had his doubts that Luffy could manage it. Nami betting against it certainly made it look bad… she only ever put money on a sure thing. Still, he hoped that it would happen. No harm in being optimistic, right? Worst case, Nami-san would get a kick out of winning. Maybe she would finally agree to go on a date. It was nice to think about at least. Better than the ‘situation’ with Zoro.

If there was a situation. Sanji couldn’t even tell. _Cryptic bloody Marimo._

It had been so simple to just sleep with him. All _too easy._ Now he was addicted. In a lifetime of one night stands, Sanji had felt this overwhelming sexual infatuation before but it had never lasted. With the ones he had been able to see again, the passion was slowly lost each time. Not with Zoro. Every time he felt that hard hot body against his own he needed it more desperately. He was even waking up in the middle of the night with the taste of steel on his moist lips… But he didn’t want to commit to anyone. _No way._ He was quite happy watching the lovely ladies and romancing his way across the Grand Line.

Though he did want to be able to drag Zoro off and just fuck him senseless from time to time. Maybe a lot of the time. Was that so much to ask?

The cook sighed one last time for good measure. All this introversion was making him feel stuffy. He decided that he needed a little air and went outside for an after dinner smoke. Their meal had stretched on for so long it ended up being an after tea smoke. It was now a cold, clear night and a band of stars stretched from one end of the sky to the other. It was always so clear here… much more than in East or North Blue. He looked up at the stars and wished he could see what they saw. The same stars that he could see would be shining down on All Blue.

He walked a little way along the cobbled street and watched leaves twirl in the wind. He felt the swordsman before he saw him. Even though it was only the hint of a presence, Sanji knew it was him. _He was coming to end it already._

So much for the damn optimism.

_No. Mr. Prince did not give up so easily_. Maybe Zoro had just come out to give him a head job up against an alley wall.

That’s more like it. _You can do this._

“Cook.”

The swordsman had decided. He didn’t know how he felt about the cook and the little he did know, he didn’t like. There was one question he needed to know the answer to before he confronted this thing. One thing he needed to say in order to see the blonde’s reaction. This might be a huge risk or it might just pass by unnoticed... he never knew what would snatch his attention. Maybe Luffy was right, damn cook was a mystery.

“Zoro.” Sanji turned and loosened his tie. He raised one curly inquisitive eyebrow.

The swordsman stared at him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave it on.” The blonde said, wiggling the tie with a smirk. _Might as well go down in a blaze of glory._

“I wanted to talk to you,” Zoro said. Kind of obvious but it was words, which was impressive for Marimo. Sanji kept the act going in his mind. It helped him to cope with the serious look in Zoro’s eyes.

_No head job then._

“Then talk.”

“Why don’t you want anyone to see us together?”

_What?_

“Because I don’t want Nami and Robin to find out.” _Obvious._

“So what if they did?” Zoro leaned up against a brick wall and crossed his arms.

“I… uh…” They wouldn’t want to date a man who had a beast like Zoro sweating all over him. They were too refined.

Zoro narrowed his dark eyes and the moon cast shadows over his face. “You really think they’re so closed-minded that they’d think less of you ‘cause you’re fucking a man?” he asked.

“No… I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” Sanji ground out his smoke and stared at his shoe.

“I do,” the swordsman replied. “They’re going to find out anyway. It’s a small ship.”

“No. This is between you and me. No-one else.” Sanji glared into those dark eyes. No way was he telling Nami and Robin about this. What would Zoro say anyway? ‘Oh by the way, I’ve been fucking your love-cook’s tight ass on the table that you’re eating off right now.’ _Great. Real crowd pleaser._

Zoro stared back. Cool and level. Always so fucking calm whenever anything was going wrong. Like he just retreated into his happy place and left the world to its own devices. What had he said the other week?

_‘Leave it to luck’_

That was right. _Typical._ Zoro would just calmly threaten everything that meant anything to the cook and then just go back to Testosterone City, Gruntsville like nothing had happened.

Zoro stared at him with clouded dark eyes. Stubborn eyes. He was not going to win this one though.

“No! Don’t do it. I swear I’ll fu..”

“SANJI! ZORO!” Nami’s voice.

Zoro scowled and turned to stroll back to the pub. Sanji caught his shoulder and held him fast.

“Don’t do it,” he said. Somewhere along the line his tone had changed it from a threat to a plea.

He expected Zoro to flay him with a look of pure scorn. Maybe throw him against the wall and scream... But probably just glare at him and say ‘Fine. That’s it then. It’s over.’

…and walk away.

Instead, Zoro’s lips twinged with a wry smile. He looked like a man who got just what he expected. Acceptance and disappointment. He just moved his head in the tiniest nod and turned away.

The cook would have preferred screaming.

He stared at Zoro’s back as it disappeared around the corner. What the fuck was Marimo thinking?!

Trust Zoro to find a way to shake things up. Sanji swore that the idiot thrived on conflict. _What the hell can you do with a man like that?_

Was he really considering telling Nami and Robin? He looked serious enough... Sanji thought he wouldn’t want everyone knowing they were sleeping together either. He was so damn butch. Why would he want people all up and down the Grand Line saying that he was gay? Zoro probably just didn’t give a shit what people thought but what about _him?_ What about Sanji the ladies’ man? If they knew he would be relegated to picking outfits at slumber parties for all eternity!

“Sanji-kun!!!” Nami’s voice cut through the still air, she was calling his name... how bitter-sweet life could be.

“Hai Nami-schwan!” he called out. He paused and considered the night sky one last time. Zoro hadn’t given him the speech but somehow Sanji had disappointed him. Well that made two of them. Zoro probably only wanted everyone to know so he could have sex whenever he wanted to. He wouldn’t have considered what it meant for the cook if everyone knew what was going on.

_Damn Marimo was empathy-retardant after all._

Sanji put his hands in his pockets and prepared his best nothing-to-see-here smile. Maybe Nami wouldn’t care. _Maybe it would turn her on..._

Maybe she would scream and beat him off the ship with the Clima Tact after several lightning strikes to the testicles.

_Fucking baka-bushido_.

_Why’d he always have to make shit complicated?_

\---------------

_Not interested. He wasn’t interested at all._

Zoro sat at the bar and contemplated his drink. One for a tonic then one for bed. This was not much of a night for drinking. Nami had just wanted to tell them the sleeping arrangements. She was in with Robin, Usopp and Luffy had a room and he was stuck with the damn cook and Chopper.

_Yay._

Luffy’s face had fallen when he heard. Zoro knew he always liked to be in with Chopper. They often stayed up half the night talking nonsense. Sea shanties, myths, adventures, philosophy... mostly just whatever bizarre rantings entered Luffy’s head. The swordsman figured that was what Nami was trying to avoid. There was probably nothing like Luffy raving at full steam ahead to ruin your beauty sleep. Didn’t bother him, of course. He could sleep through anything.

The people that Sanji was staring at were gone. Staring probably wasn’t the right term for it. It was more like he was sexually assaulting them with his eyes. _Damn pervert._ As if he wasn’t disturbing enough for women without going completely spastic every time he saw someone attractive. What was so hot about the posers anyway? All about their looks and no substance. They were like cardboard cut-outs.

He was distracted by a clatter on the other side of the room. He glanced over. Luffy was being punched in the face by a guy with a ridiculous moustache. It looked like something had died while trying to crawl up his nose. The Captain was in a head lock. He was grinning and trying to talk to the guy between hits.

“Come o..n you d..on’t h..ave to b..e so gr..ump..y!”

A smile quivered on Zoro’s lips as his left hand travelled slowly down his side to meet the hilt of the cursed blade. The smile spread to a sadistic curl as he drained his drink and turned from his seat to face the unlucky soul who had such bad timing. The smile reached his eyes and leant them a demonic glint as he drew his blade and strode over to where Luffy sat. His rubbery head was being ground into the table.

“Oi.” Zoro levelled the katana at the moustache and tried to decide what sort of haircut would suit the man.

“No Zoro!” Luffy called out. His voice was slightly muffled by a mouthful of wood but it was clear enough.

Zoro knelt down and looked Luffy in the eyes, completely ignoring the man now slamming his head into the table.

“What?”

“Just leave it.”

Zoro scowled. _What a shit night._

“Really?” Zoro whined. _Damn a fight would be good..._

“Yosh,” Luffy nodded and grinned.

“Don’t ignore me!!!” The guy with the mo was getting a tad peeved. _Fuck him._

“Ok ok,” said Zoro to his Captain, sheathing his katana and turning back to the bar.

The moustache twitched and Zoro felt something tap him on the back of the head. He turned around with a look of mild incredulity. _What the hell?_ Looked like mo had punched him in the back of the head. The swordsman narrowed his eyes and pooled all of his demonic presence into them. He leaned over mo and smiled. His deep voice dripped with the promise of pain,

“Lucky.”

The man’s eyes went wide and he stepped backwards. A sheen of sweat appeared on his brow and he watched Zoro go halfway across the room in silence before continuing to offer Luffy cut price panel beating.

“Thanks Zoro!” Luffy called out. His face was once again slammed into the table.

He kept giving Zoro these weird looks and grinning throughout the meal and now he was letting some weak as piss idiot beat him into a table… Zoro knew the scheming look in his eyes. He should be able to handle any stupid plots that Luffy could come up with as long as they didn’t involve octopus or Nami. He’d have to keep an eye on the kid though, once he got an idea into his head then there was nothing anyone could do to get it out. The last thing Zoro needed was Luffy hounding Sanji. As if his life wasn’t enough of a theatre of humiliation already.

He couldn’t believe how the cook had reacted. He hadn’t even heard the implied question behind Zoro’s words. He just knew what he didn’t want and that was it. His stupid insecurities made him unable to confront his feelings. Instead, he ran away. Sanji had never done that. He’d always been strong. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Every time that Nami rejected him, he’d just pick up the pieces of his heart and try again. It was stupid but it was admirable. He loved the cook but he hated his dumb-ass attitude. _Back to this again._

He wouldn’t fucking mind if Sanji just said it was over. Or if he just said it was on. It was all the pointless fucking about in the middle that was doing Zoro’s head in. He just wanted to know where he stood so he could get on with his life.

All this uncertainty too much damn hassle. It was even cutting into his sleeping time. He did like the cook and the cook didn’t want anyone to know. So he either didn’t want it to be serious, or he was embarrassed as hell by Zoro, or both.

He was just thinking in circles and getting nowhere. It was time to make a decision.

Well, fuck him if he didn’t know what he wanted.

Zoro did.

_I might not be enough of a bastard to just tell everyone and then take a picture of the look on Sanji’s face for the album… But I am a bastard. And this bastard is going to make that dumb cook love him whether he wants to or not._

The swordsman returned to the bar and sat down. He turned his chair so he could watch Luffy get pulverised. He had no idea what the Captain was doing but at least it was entertaining.

\----------------------


	15. Eat Your Heart Out

The waves rolled slowly on under a clear blue sky. The sun shone down onto turquoise water and sea gulls hung magically on the breeze.

The swordsman sat and contemplated the sand between his feet. Fine and white, milled from thousands of years of restless ocean. It was the culmination of so much time and energy but thinking of a beach without it was almost impossible. It was just how he felt about Sanji. But then again, everything reminded him of Sanji. It had been too long since he had breathed in the sweet warm smell of tobacco, spices and sex.

Zoro’s body thrummed with a familiar ache… He wanted the cook. He wanted to run his fingers across that ribbed stomach and that fucking beautiful ass. He wanted to kiss him slowly from his lips all the way down…

How the hell had he gotten from sand to ass anyway?

_Damn it._

It was probably just because he’d had a bad night’s sleep. Well, more that Sanji had slept badly. With Zoro’s highly trained senses, he woke up every time the cook stared at him over Chopper’s head. Just like he was staring at him now.

Zoro met the icy blue eyes with a scowl. He actually wasn’t sure whether he felt grumpy or smug – but given Sanji’s mood it seemed safer to match it.

The cook glared out at him from under a silky wave of blonde, “I don’t know how yet but I swear this is your fault.”

Zoro just stared back at him. It was the baka-Captain who had left them there; it had nothing to do with him. Turned out that for once he hadn’t given the idiot enough credit. He knew Luffy was up to something (he was about as transparent as glass noodles) but he hadn’t expected to be stranded on a tiny island with no-one but the cook for company.

That was a bit of a surprise.

It was a sweet gesture really but he’d got the timing all wrong. Typical Luffy. Normally they’d be able to take advantage of being alone and disappear into the forest. As it was, the cook was shirty and Zoro was still trying to form a battle strategy.

_A good one._

Shitty cook couldn’t have it both ways. He wanted to sleep with Zoro but he didn’t want to be seen with him afterwards. Well, tough. A real man honours his responsibilities and commitments and NO-ONE was going to use Roronoa Zoro as a mild distraction. With him it was all or nothing.

_And it would be all._

The waves lapped gently, the cool breeze blew and the cook and the swordsman sat side by side glaring out at the ocean like it owed them something.

“So what the fuck are we going to do?” Sanji kicked some sand, which got caught by the wind and blew back into Zoro’s face.

_Good question._

“We could swim,” the swordsman said. It wasn’t really that far to the island that they had started on. A few miles of open ocean swimming would be a perfect way to warm him up and to cool the cook down. He could hold his swords above his head for that long, no hassle.

“I’m not fucking swimming!” Sanji spat back.

“Afraid of a little water?”

“This suit is worth more than your life, Marimo.” The cook stroked the delicate wool weave lovingly, then took off the jacket and laid it down with unnecessary care in the sand.

Zoro sighed and muttered under his breath, “More than your life, maybe. Anonymous Pirate A…” he felt Sanji stiffen beside him.

“What was that!?” the cook hissed. His voice was dangerously low and calm.

“Nothing,” the swordsman huffed. _Come on, think!_ What the hell should he do? Zoro knew what he wanted to do but a certain firecracker blonde didn’t seem to be in the mood for any fun.

Zoro scowled for real this time. _Always his damn rules._

At least the anger helped him to pick his strategy. He rolled his hips around and swept Sanji up with his legs, pinning him to the ground before he had time to react. The cook struggled and practically spat venom.

“What the fuck are you doing!?”

Zoro looked down at the flustered, grumpy man.

“Are you going to teach me how to fight, or what?” He gazed down at the cook placidly.

There was nothing Sanji hated more than calm Zoro. That would have to be weapon number one. The swordsman stifled a smirk and tightened his grip with his knees.

Sanji looked confused and then a smile finally tugged at the corner of his mouth but he wouldn’t let it show through. Baka-cook wanted to waste their time together sulking. He was so easy to bait though…

“I can sit here all day,” Zoro said, pressing his full weight down onto the idiot’s chest.

“That’s what you think.” Sanji let the grin take over his face and bucked his powerful hips. When Zoro leaned forwards to keep from toppling over Sanji trapped his hands and pushed him sideways, rolling them both over. Next thing the swordsman knew he was on his back in the sand with Sanji between his legs.

“You want training?” The blonde had a dangerous glint in his eyes. Zoro’s heart rate got just a little faster.

“No shit,” he said, looking deep into those startling blue eyes.

“No shit, _Sensei_ \- thank you very much.” Sanji leaned forward and pinned Zoro’s hands with his own. The swordsman could feel the sharp hips digging in between his legs as the cook leaned over him. It was pretty damn distracting actually. By the glint in the blonde’s eyes, that was the whole point. Oh well, if he wanted to play games then lust would make a perfect addition to the arsenal: weapon number two.

Zoro struggled and ripped his hands from the cook’s grasp. He grabbed Sanji and pulled him down into a deep kiss, claiming him and holding him close. Finally, he released him and whispered into the blonde’s ear,

“So ero-Sensei…” Sanji was still between Zoro’s legs so the swordsman wrapped them around the cook’s waist, “you want me to struggle or should I just take it like a good boy?”

Sanji didn’t blush; he was trying to stay grumpy. _Damn it. So sure that would work._

Then Zoro noticed that his breath caught - just a little. The swordsman was grateful again for his skills at analysing body language. Years of fighting total strangers hadn’t been wasted... The cook always recovered quickly though.

“From where I’m sitting you don’t have a choice. Your ground fighting is shit.” Sanji grinned down at him, smug and confident. That’s what he thought. Zoro could easily throw the cook halfway up the beach but he’d finally stopped sulking so it would be a risk. Damn moody bastard.

_Different tactic._ Weapon number three - something he and the cook did _so well._

“Well you’re my teacher so whose fault is that?” Zoro returned the grin in spades.

Sanji opened his mouth for a witty retort but a smooth feminine voice rang out before the words left his lips,

“So here you are… Roronoa Zoro. Not bad at all.”

A deeper male voice joined the chorus, “And one of his _closer friends_ by the look of it.”

As they scrambled apart, a chuckle rang out from the forest behind them and two people stepped out onto the beach. A man and a woman in figure hugging black satin. Sanji went to pieces just a little bit more with every step closer. Sometimes certain women could have an unusual effect on him and this one was a stunner. It was the exotic couple from the bar, in all their perfect glory. Up close and in technicolour.

Zoro glared at the cook and then addressed his question to the woman. The sooner this was over, the sooner he could get back to changing Sanji’s mind.

“So what do you want?” Short. Sharp. To the point.

“Your precious bounty head.” The woman smiled as she drew two long knives from her black leather belt. Blades, eh? Perfect. They were serrated, jagged and shiny too. Nasty looking things.

Maybe she could earn his respect after all.

The man draped himself over her shoulder and said, “We’re lucky to find you separated from your crew. Never thought you’d have those sorts of habits…” the man cast his gorgeous green eyes over the cook’s crumpled clothes and smiled knowingly.

“I _am_ part of his damn crew!” Sanji spat at him, before he returned to gazing disturbingly at the woman’s cleavage.

The swordsman ignored him and addressed woman again. She seemed to be the one in charge.

“You’re welcome to try and take it but you should tell us your names first. I like to know the names of the people I kill.” Zoro smiled pleasantly. Well, as pleasantly as he could. It was a smile much like that of a shark; menacing and pointy. He slowly drew one katana, relishing the sound of the perfectly oiled blade sliding from the scabbard.

“Jade de Montford and my sister…” said the man as he lazily drew a pair of long knives identical to his partner’s.

“Jynx de Montford,” said the woman “that all?” A bemused smile danced on her lips.

“Yep,” Zoro grinned back. At least there wasn’t going to be a long speech explaining why they wanted him dead. Oh, he _hated_ those.

\----------------------

“You did WHAT?!”

“I left them on an island!” The round brown eyes blinked up innocently.

“But you said you were going fishing!”

“I DID go fishing!” Luffy grinned wide and held up a fish the size of a mackerel. “See!”

Nami sighed, tapped her foot on the wooden pier and tried to think of a question that would wring a tiny amount of sense out of him.

“WHY did you leave them on an island, Luffy?”

“They need to talk,” The Captain grinned (even wider, as only Luffy can) and poked his fish “Do you think Sanji can make something out of this? Or should I just eat it now?” he peered into the glassy eyes, trying to get the fish to give up its secrets.

Nami ignored the babble and tried to get him back on topic “About what? Can’t they abuse each other just as well on the ship?”

Luffy grinned and shrugged, “It just seemed like a good idea!” He picked up his fishing rod and looked at his tiny catch.

“Maybe I should go fishing again. Wanna come?”

Nami took a deep breath and then let it out as she counted to five before replying.

“NO. I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO COME.” Luffy’s looked shocked for a minute and then, just as quickly, he laughed.

“You’re so grumpy!”

Nami sighed again. She didn’t want him to get bored and wander off because she needed information but she was not going to be abandoned on some God-forsaken anonymous island because Luffy decided that she needed some air. Actually, now that she thought of it…

“Look,” she said in her best calm-but-not-letting-up-on-the-threat-factor-one-little-bit voice “which island did you leave them on?”

“That one!”

Luffy grinned and pointed to a purple mountain rising up out of the sea on the horizon. The island they were on was part of an archipelago, so there were lots of little islands scattered about. The locals used dug-outs to paddle from one island to another. Luffy had hired a dug-out, convinced the very grumpy Zoro and Sanji to go fishing with him and then dumped them.

What the hell was he thinking?

_Of course!_ He wasn’t thinking.

She should have known better. This was Luffy, after all.

And what would Zoro and Sanji have to talk about anyway? Nami stared out at the ocean. They were still behaving very strangely. First there was that period when they didn’t fight at all, then there was the fact that they barely screamed now when they fought… And they had been spending a lot of time together. Maybe they had finally settled their differences and decided to act like men instead of like primary school kids with a substitute teacher.

_Yeah, right._

Time for a little sleuthing.

\-------------------

Zoro watched the dark haired de Montfords’ closely. Two pairs of level emerald green eyes stared back at him. They must be twins; they had the same body type and the same manner of movement. They even had the same sort of condescending curl to their generous lips. They were a little ‘close’ for brother and sister; they were lounging all over each other. It was as if Jade couldn’t even hold himself up without his sister’s support.

He wasn’t the only one having trouble keeping his feet. Zoro could feel the cook flailing around behind him. Little pink hearts floated up into the swordsman’s peripheral vision. The lady moved slowly with a grace that spoke of great physical control. Her brother seemed to use only the minimum amount of energy required to remain standing. There was something about him though – he might just be able to move quickly when he wanted to. They both looked very light on their feet.

Jade stretched out behind his sister and then turned so the two of them were back to back. They lifted their arms up and out - into a black cross. The four long knives, with their narrow handles, were threaded between their intertwined fingers.

Zoro grinned and undid the bandana from his arm. Sanji finally came out of his trance.

“Oi, Marimo. What do you think you’re doing?”

Zoro continued to grin and tied the bandana over his head.

“You’d better not hurt her.” The cook persisted.

“I won’t _hurt_ her…” Sanji sighed in relief “…she won’t feel a thing.” The swordsman grinned sadistically.

Sanji glared at him. Idiot had better not go overboard; there was no excuse for beating up a lady unnecessarily.

“It’s sweet of you to worry honey…”

As the low sultry voice distracted Sanji, a jagged blade sliced through the air and the cook jumped back to avoid the edge. He turned fluidly onto his hands and then sprang back again onto his feet. He only had a second to register that the twins were gone before long black hair tickled his cheek.

Her long soft, black hair was caressing his cheek.

Sanji’s knees went a little weak.

His heart started to race.

He could feel the warmth from her gorgeous body behind him. From both of them together…

And with that… he went back into the trance.

“Jynx-san! Please take me prisoner!” he cried, before crumpling to the ground like a pile of love jelly. The four raised blades came down on him, as he sat in a heap. A whirling wind of silver glare spun around his head and his skin burned. The dancing blades carved a thousand arcs, then as suddenly as it had started, it stopped.

Sanji looked down; his lovely white shirt was in ribbons. Very thin red ribbons. The cuts weren’t that deep. They stung more than ached; but boy, did they sting. She was adorable though… such soft sweet pale…

The cook's train of thought was roughly derailed as he was knocked into the air. He landed about twenty metres up the beach, spun over a couple of times and then landed on his feet.

“What did you do that for shit head?!” the irate blonde raged.

“I’ll be your opponent,” Zoro said to Jynx. He stood opposite her, all three swords gleaming in the sun.

“It’s not that simple, honey,” as Jynx smiled, her brother turned and looked over her shoulder, his sensuous lips curling in an identical smile.

“We like to fight together, so you’ll just have to deal with both of us.” Jade grinned wickedly and twirled his two knives before intertwining his fingers with his sister’s again.

“Fine. Whatever.” Zoro smiled back around the hilt of Wadou and took his stance. The cursed sword had been crying for blood, maybe it was time to feed it…

“Stop it!” The voice was hard and stern. He almost didn’t recognise it. Zoro turned around slowly. Sanji stood with his hair low over his eyes. He quivered with suppressed energy.

“You shouldn’t use your swords against a woman.” He lifted his head and met Zoro with a stare that dared him to defy.

“Why not?” Zoro removed the sword from his mouth but he didn’t concede an inch.

Sanji continued, “Because it’s just wrong, damnit! Didn’t anyone teach you any damn manners?”

Zoro just glared at him. He knew what he wanted to say but it was not the time for it. The swordsman turned to give his full attention to the twins. They were lounging and laughing at the lovers’ quarrel but their complacency wouldn’t last long. Once they had finished wiping his blood off their weapons, they would be ready to really fight.

Sanji wouldn’t let it go though, “Put them away!”

“Look at yourself!” Zoro shouted back. The blonde’s blood was slowly soaking his shirt. It was almost entirely red now. Zoro knew the cook would be fine. That wasn’t the point. She had blades. She had fucking _marked him_. So she would be his next step on the road to glory.

_Simple._

Sanji marched up to Zoro.

He poked the swordsman in the chest and waved his cigarette around for illustration.

“You have. No. Damn. Respect.”

“I have no respect?” Zoro’s eyes narrowed as he tried to keep calm.

“You treat women like trash!”

“I treat women like people. Like equals. Like _warriors. That is respect_.” Zoro bit the words off one by one.

Sanji gaped at him as the implications of his words sunk in. How DARE Zoro suggest that he had more respect for the fairer sex than the love-cook himself?!

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT WOMEN!!!” he screamed into Zoro’s face.

“YOU can’t see what a hypocrite you’re being!” The swordsman shouted back.

“Are you almost done?” Jynx asked, looking up from filing her nails.

“SHUT UP!” Zoro and Sanji shouted in unison. Jynx rolled her eyes. Her brother yawned and stretched his perfectly toned body.

Sanji suddenly realised what he had said and melted to his knees,

“Forgive me Jynx-chan, the idiot Marimo made me angry!” he said.

Zoro looked down at him and scowled. He didn’t quite know who he wanted to hurt more. Baka-cook and his stupid chivalry trip… But seeing Sanji crumpled in a heap and covered in blood helped him to decide. He put Wadou back into his mouth and turned to face the amused pair.

They would _pay_ for what they had done.

And then he would deal with Sanji.

He stepped out, watching the twin’s feet as he started to turn into his first strike. He felt a leg shoot out behind him and he jumped to avoid being knocked into the sand.

“Don’t push me, cook,” he said slowly, as he turned around. Instead of the cocky grin he was used to, the face that greeted him was full of concern. It had a funny effect on him. For some reason he couldn’t make himself turn away.

“What?!” he growled at his bloody lover.

“At least _talk to me_.”

Zoro sighed, this was ridiculous. But somehow, even though his mind was unleashing a torrent of pain, his body was walking back up the beach to hear what the idiot had to say. What was his damn problem all of a sudden?!

“You never cared before,” he stated, “what the hell is going on?” He wanted this talk to be as quick and painless as possible. _Damn cook._

“ _Before,_ it was life or death. We did what we had too but now…” Sanji trailed off.

“What’s changed?”

“You.”

“Us?”

“No. _You_.” Zoro stayed perfectly still and held his breath just in case he did something really stupid. Finally Sanji continued, “Now you don’t have to kill people anymore.”

Zoro bit his tongue. Hard. What was the cook thinking? Was he about to challenge Zoro’s dream? He thought that the cook would understand. If he didn’t, then…

“You’re _better than that_.”

Zoro bit his lip. Even harder than his tongue. _Better?!_

Sanji looked up, the colour slowly rising in his cheeks. He chewed his lip too and for a moment, there was only the two of them on the whole island. Finally the blonde looked away.

“You don’t need them,” Sanji gestured at the swords, mumbling into his hair, “You’re so fucking strong.”

Finally Zoro replied, “I do need them. _They’re my dream_.”

Sanji sighed. “I know,” he said. He stared down at his shoes and Zoro was suddenly struck by how gorgeous he looked. He’d never seen the cook contrite before. In truth he didn’t really believe that Sanji had it in him. Bastard wasn’t perfect after all... and he even knew it.

Zoro put one hand on the down covered chin and tilted it until the blonde curtain parted and he could look Sanji in the eyes.

“I’ll use the swords,” he said. Sanji nodded gently in acceptance. “…but I won’t hurt them. _I promise_.”

The blue eyes shone like beacons. For a minute the swordsman was lost but then there was a light to guide him home.

\----------------------


	16. Humble Pie

The cook and the swordsman stood toe to toe. The whole island seemed to hold its breath as the rough, calloused hand dropped from the down covered chin. The spell was shattered by the ending of that tender gesture. The reality of the twins, the ocean and their situation flooded in.

Zoro coughed.

_Well, this is uncomfortable._

Those beautiful blue eyes. That idiot of a man who had no fucking idea what he was missing out on. This perfect day that they would never have. He felt suddenly sad …and horny.

_Damn cook._

There was only one thing that would clear his mind.

He faced the twins again and pointedly turned his swords over - blunt side out. The two perfectly sculpted bodies turned in unison and four dark green eyes peered from behind long dark locks. Jynx laughed,

“Finally ready to fight then? The wife gave you permission?”

Zoro felt all the muscles in his arms and shoulders tense.

That had pissed him off a lot more than he expected.

“What I do is nothing to do with him.” He growled around Wadou, narrowing his dark eyes.

The twins raised their matched blades and twirled them in a perfect mirror routine; they hovered and sung in the air. Finally they turned, throwing the blades and catching all four between their interlaced fingers. They were back in formation, back to back. Zoro tapped his foot impatiently.

The dramatic pair began to twirl their blades together. They whirled faster and faster and then they linked their elbows and twisted the piercing points around them in a deadly figure of eight. Zoro traced the path of the knives in the air. They dipped and soared, right over left, with a crossover every three turns. He stretched his tight shoulder muscles out and relaxed his wrists to draw the two katanas in his hands into a lazy turn. Together they were formidable opponents but in order to fight that way they needed to be able to predict each other’s movements exactly. Their strength was also a weakness.

He felt the rhythm of the twisting bodies in front of him. A gentle breeze from the knives batted his eyelids and his movements synchronised with their jagged blades. He drew one long, deep breath.

Zoro sprung forwards and sidestepped, launching off the balls of his feet. He flew into the air, up over the heads of the waiting twins. As he cleared them he flipped once, taking a long swipe two-sword style on the way over. The twins deflected the blow and the downwards force of it drove them deeper into the sand. Their blades crossed and then began to rotate the other way. Their defence was still flawless. They were a little stronger than they looked.

But only a little.

Jynx turned to face the swordsman again, her arms still linked with those of her brother. She smiled and her almond shaped eyes glinted.

Zoro wriggled his feet into the sand. He relished the weight of the three blades, feeling the gentle pull of bloodlust and gravity. The twins began to turn, arm over arm. They threw each other ahead using their combined mass, each acted as a counter weight for the other. They were moving up the beach fast, the jagged knives flashing in the summer sun. The white sand gleamed and the swordsman blinked, something was missing…

The lithe black-clad bodies pivoted in the air. Zoro turned and let his swords take the attack. He turned the force of their momentum against them, twisting his body around and spinning them back up the beach again. He had rolled his arms around to slide Yubashiri along one of the pretty-boy’s blades. He watched the reaction of his prey intently.

Jade let go of his sister’s hands and touched two pale digits to his delicate face. He looked down at his hand and then smiled. Zoro had made sure not to draw any blood. Baka-cook was right, in a way. He didn’t need to go all out on this type of scum. As long as he kept advancing towards his goal it didn’t matter if he left behind corpses or hospital bills.

It would be good training.

_Nothing to do with Sanji._

The two tall, pale siblings had turned to face the swordsman. They pointed their blades out and smiled those twin scythe grins.

Zoro finally realised what was wrong. Despite the sun and the glittering waves and the gleaming white sand, he could see.

He wasn’t squinting and his head didn’t even ache. No hangover and he was even on holiday. It was amazing. The swordsman was grateful he didn’t have time to contemplate that miracle for long. He had a feeling he would have been very concerned if he did.

A silver arc appeared between the twins. The really could move fast… They kicked off the beach and spun towards Zoro, becoming two blinding discs of light. He thanked his luck that they had picked today to fight him, as he relaxed his body and let the rhythm of their blades pulse through it.

_Waiting… waiting…_

The swordsman stood still until he could feel the breeze of the knives even through his shirt. At the apex of their mirror-swing, he dropped to his knees and then leapt, twisting, towards them. Wadou turned with him, breaking through their swing and snapping two knives - and two hands - back and away. He crossed his arms as the other two blades came down. He flicked his wrists and snapped his shoulders back as he sailed between the lithe bodies.

Both of them had leapt away by the time that Zoro had landed and taken up his finishing stance. His katanas rattled as the two knives twirled round them. He let the tips of the two swords dip and the knives clattered down the lengths of steel and hit the beach. Zoro stepped away from the irregular, harsh edges. They had kept their finish even after being hit by the katana. Maybe these two could get better…

“Come and get them,” Zoro said to Jynx, as she craned over her brother. Jade stood and shook his wrists; then he smiled at his sister’s concerned face and strode over to where the first two knives lay. He stooped and picked them up, throwing one to his sibling. She snatched the knife from the air and her black glare locked on to the swordsman.

She had a hauntingly familiar look in her eyes.

He knew that she would not walk away, no matter the cost. He would do her the honour of fighting with all his strength. He might not want to hurt her but for a warrior it was better to die with honour than to live with shame.

Sanji believed he could do it this way and not kill them.

Maybe that was enough.

Jynx advanced slowly and took the remaining weapons from the sand. She threw one back to her brother. The almond shaped green eyes burned into the swordsman’s own.

“You’ll regret that,” she hissed.

\-----------------------

Nami found Robin on the balcony of the hotel they were staying at. She was reclining in a deck chair with a book and a steaming cup of coffee. The redhead sighed. It looked so damn relaxing… She was very tempted to just join her and pretend that nothing was happening with the rest of the crew. Or ‘the idiots’ as Nami preferred to call them. Saved time.

Instead, she sighed once more and broached the subject of most importance. Robin always appreciated it when people were direct.

“Have you noticed anything strange about Sanji and Zoro?” she said.

Robin looked up from her book and pushed her sun glasses above her head.

“Strange, navigator-san?” she let a little smile slip and Nami knew that she had hit pay dirt.

“You know, out of the ordinary?” she angled, not wanting to give anything away for nothing.

“Well, I suppose there has been a certain ‘something’ in the air…” the brunette mused.

“I KNEW IT!” Nami shouted, before realising she was meant to be being covert. She leaned in nice and close over Robin and whispered conspiratorially,

“Tell me! They’re not actually becoming friends are they? It just seems impossible!”

Robin smiled a particularly cryptic smile,

“Not _friends_ as such…” she said, conveying just enough with her inflection that a clever girl would know just what she meant.

Nami’s jaw hit the balcony.

“WHAT!?” she stammered. Realising the volume once again, she leaned in even closer.

“No. You can’t mean that they…?”

Robin turned her exotic blue eyes on the flame-haired girl who was practically smothering her with her bosom.

“I do mean _that they_ ,” she said. It wasn’t a proper sentence but she had learned to be a lot more relaxed with her expression after so much time with Luffy. Nami pushed herself back and just gaped.

“How did you find out?” she asked, for a minute distracted by the thought of discovering new and interesting intelligence gathering methods. Robin laughed and gestured to the wooden door which Nami had gone through to get onto the balcony.

A little gaggle of eyes appeared, blinked and then sunk into the woodwork. The navigator’s eyes gleamed with evil thoughts,

“Oh Robin, you naughty thing!”

“I only glanced when I heard them making a lot of noise. It is not something I make a habit of. They were in the galley; that’s a public space.” Robin concluded, trying to set some guidelines early. She was pretty sure that somehow she was going to end up doing something she didn’t want to otherwise. Despite the redhead’s brutish methods, she was quite cunning. Robin had already found herself in a couple of situations which she would never otherwise have contemplated. She was too clever _and_ she was adorable.

Certainly the most dangerous person aboard.

“So you really saw?!” Nami couldn’t believe it. It was ridiculous. But somehow, she knew - even now - that it was true.

“I did,” Robin said.

“Come on, what did you see?”

Robin’s eyebrows rose in mild surprise. She remained diplomatically silent.

“Oh, Robin!” Nami whined, “You can’t just say that. It’s cruel!”

Robin looked up at the pouting, the crossed arms and the heaving bosom of indignation.

_Just a tidbit wouldn’t hurt._

She said it slowly and with no emotion what-so-ever.

“Swordsman-san’s technique certainly shows the many hours he has spent training with a sword in his mouth.”

Nami squealed, remembered her vow to be stealthy, decided she didn’t give a damn anymore and squealed again.

“I knew it!” the redhead squeaked, as she ran out the door and hurtled down the stairs two at a time. A tiny ‘thankyou Robin!’ floated up from the street below as the Navigator disappeared.

Robin smiled. She tried not to but that one just snuck through. She lifted her book back up and took a sip of her coffee. They really were a lot of fun, these pirates.

\-------------------

The cook stood and slowly undid the buttons of his ex-favourite white shirt. That was the problem with refusing to wear nasty clothes. Everything that you ruined was a favourite.

He peeled the rag slowly from his skin, wincing just a tiny bit. The narrow rivulets of blood had ceased to run but the angry red slices still gleamed wet in the sun. Jynx had certainly got him a treat.

His skin tingled with her burning attack of love. She wasn’t his sweet Mellorine but she certainly had some formidable charms… the cook gazed at the generously bobbing bosom as he lit his cigarette. He regretfully dumped the shirt. It was a pointless exercise to keep it on. His whole chest and back had been covered in a tight lattice of cuts. Somehow his pants were ok but his shirt (and his skin) had been lacerated to ribbons.

Zoro leapt and turned. Sanji could see that he was using all of his strength, his speed was incredible. Idiot promised to go easy! Once the cook saw the sand settle and the two knives wrapped around the swordsman’s blades, he relaxed. Maybe.

Just maybe there was hope for moss-head yet.

Zoro could feel the cook standing behind him. He didn’t have the time to turn around but it was nice to have him there, at his back.

Even if the useless idiot wouldn’t fight.

Jade stepped out from behind his sister. He walked out around Zoro until he was behind the swordsman. Sanji stepped back to accommodate him. He considered joining in but Zoro had turned just enough to wink at the cook before facing his opponent once more.

The bastard was actually enjoying himself!

The blades began their deadly song again, whistling through the air as the twins juggled the steel between them. The jagged edges caught the light as they flew over the swordsman’s head. The two lithe forms twisted as the twins moved in, closer and closer. They twirled the blades expertly, throwing them and rolling the backs of the blades over their bodies. They hit the knives in mid-air changing their speed and direction. From throwing they moved to striking and kicking the blades. One came too close to the swordsman’s nose so he deflected it with the cursed sword. It was re-directed by a foot and was hurling back into his face in an instant. While he was distracted, a second knife was knocked towards his head. He dropped and knocked them out of the air with Wadou. Within an instant, the twins had sent them back. Each time he knocked one away, another two would take its place. With the two of them working so perfectly in unison, he had to focus every nerve. He had to stretch his reflexes to the very limit.

The jagged edges glinted as they flashed in front of his face. Sparks began to fly from his beloved katanas as he turned, deflected and struck again. Each time he managed to send a hit past the ring of whirling blades, by the time it landed, the dark haired menace was gone. Zoro was starting to get really annoyed. Training was one thing but he hated to be made a fool of. He could feel the pattern in their movement. They appeared, struck, deflected, re-directed and then moved again. Each time they appeared somewhere different but they always returned to their original spot every three attacks. The swordsman let his arms drop and allowed the next attack to glance him.

He moved with the strike to minimise the damage and then grabbed the arm behind the hit. Jynx’s eyes widened as she was yanked into his arms. He twisted around and pulled her with him, using his momentum to force her to complete her turn. He moved his feet into position as they finished their pirouette and came face to face with Jade. Right on schedule.

It was the start of the twins’ little dance, so here he was ready to take the first step. The elegant boy appeared and then touched his foot to the sand to leap away. But Zoro was already there. His feet were between the two siblings and he twisted his upper body sharply, knocking them both off balance. He continued his turn; ankles, then hips, then shoulders all snapping back. He drove both elbows down in one sharp motion. There was a reassuring crack as bone hit bone and then the two limp bodies sagged into the sand.

The swordsman idly picked up one of the knives and turned it over. It was quite unwieldy and the centre of balance was terrible. That would be the reason behind that unusual wobble they had in the air… truly a difficult weapon to wield. Hopefully as the word of his swordsmanship spread, he would meet more interesting people like this.

“I told you so,” said a smug voice behind him.

“Mmmmph,” he replied, turning back to continue the argument where they left off.

Sanji picked up his shirt and rinsed it to an off-pink in the rising tide. Then he started sponging the drying blood off his rippling chest. Unlike Zoro, who had thick slabs of flesh, Sanji had a perfect map of every muscle in the human body. No bulging, just gorgeous toned perfection. The swordsman blinked and remembered he was trying to make a point a minute ago. What about, he had no idea.

The blonde wrung out his shirt and let the beading water run down his chest.

“As your teacher, I’d have to say that was embarrassing.”

Zoro growled. _Of all the nerve._

“I said I wouldn’t hurt them and I didn’t,” he grumbled.

“But you took your sweet time about it. And you still rely too much on your upper body.” The cook leaned over Jynx and felt her pulse, she must have been fine because Sanji smiled up condescendingly and lit a cigarette.

“I’m a swordsman!”

“Not the point. You need to be versatile if you’re going to be the best.” The cook checked the boy as well, his long fingers lingering just a little too long on the elegant pale neck.

How he could just chat away like nothing had even happened was beyond Zoro. His powers of denial bordered on superhuman. The swordsman just waited. He could hear Sanji’s mind scheming even from where he was. He had an evil plan already. Baka had been hanging around the sea witch too damn long.

The blonde smiled wickedly.

_What now?!_

“Turn around,” Sanji said, his lips curling sweetly.

Zoro had never seen him look so entirely innocent. Given the impish grin that had only just faded from his lips, the swordsman felt nervous.

“No,” he said simply. Whatever that ero-cook had in mind, it couldn’t be good. He turned to walk back into the forest. Being lost had to be better than this.

“Oh _yes_ ,” said Sanji, his voice dripping honey; Zoro swore he could hear the grin slowly spreading across his features, “you owe me, remember?”

“No,” said the swordsman again. He didn’t remember owing the blonde shit.

“You said that if I win, then I could be in charge for a night. _I won, Marimo_.”

Zoro stopped walking and glared at the blonde.

“That was only for that night.”

“You backing out?”

“You didn’t win.” It had been a draw at best!

“You and I both know that’s not true,” Sanji smirked around his cigarette.

“It’s not even night!”

“You want to wait and see what else I can think of between now and night time?” Sanji’s eyes twinkled with glee.

Zoro glared his best glare and took a deep breath to suppress the rising rage.

“OK. WHAT?” he asked; very loudly.

“Put your arms behind you…” the cook wriggled out of his belt and wrapped the leather around Zoro’s wrists, which were suddenly secured behind him. The swordsman sighed. He dimly remembered that a guy in a bar had warned him about women like this.

Pity he never listened to anyone.

Now, not only was he stuck on a desert island but he had nothing but two unconscious pervert siblings and a very conscious pervert cook for company.

“Don’t stare at me like that,” the blonde chuckled to himself as he tightened the belt, “this is training. Just think of what I could be doing to you!”

_Baka-cook. That was the damn problem._

The monkey was going to pay for this.

\---------------------------


	17. Melt in Your Mouth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: SMUT. All the smut.
> 
> \---xxx---

Sanji ran his fingers down the rippling muscles. The swordsman’s powerful arms strained against the leather at his wrists as he twisted and let out bass rumblings of displeasure. Asshole wasn’t happy. The cook knew that if he mentioned the bet, Zoro would do whatever he said. As long as he didn’t push it, that ass was his. Idiot was so full of pride and honour that he couldn’t back down from anything. It was evil of him to take advantage of the swordsman's limited good nature but it was just so much _fun…_

The blonde leaned in and nestled one leg between Zoro’s. He pressed their bodies together and the cuts on his bare torso stung where the swordsman’s salty skin touched him.

Zoro frowned at him. He was looking surprisingly grumpy given that they were finally alone together. For a minute, the cook considered how Zoro must feel. Being subjected to this kind of thing must be quite humbling, to say the least. Probably bordering on humiliating. He briefly considered just letting Marimo go and finding another training method. One that wouldn’t leave him staring at Zoro’s sulky face all damn day…

But then again, the idiot never did anything by halves, so why should he?

Plus it would be sexy as hell.

Not such a hard decision after-all. The cook licked his lips and hooked his fingers into the swordsman’s haramaki, drawing him closer. Zoro pulled a face of long-suffering and looked him in the eyes. His dark brow was furrowed and he was exuding an aura that would probably maim most normal people on contact.

Sanji whispered in the sweetest little voice he could muster,

“You can’t use your arms. You can’t use a weapon. Just you and me, moss-head.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” The swordsman growled into his ear, nuzzling into his neck. Sanji felt goose bumps rise on his skin at the contact. His flesh was craving the feeling of Zoro’s hard body slamming into it. Said hard body was now straining against the belt which was the only thing keeping Zoro from taking full advantage of having the blonde between his legs. Sanji let himself melt into the swordsman for just a minute; he could feel hot skin through the thin fabric. He could smell the testosterone and endless training, the oil and steel. And he could feel Zoro, hard, pressing into his hip. But he had a job to do.

The blonde took a deep breath and tried not to think about fucking Zoro until they were both unconscious.

“Have to make a man of you somehow, asshole.” The cook laughed as he pushed off Zoro’s thighs and leapt away from the frustrated swordsman’s very limited reach. The vein in Marimo’s forehead bulged.

_Damn he was cute when he was mad._

He knew that Zoro didn’t really stand a chance. It would be good for him to realise just how much he relied on his upper body strength though. That and the fact that it was a hell of an excuse for a little light bondage. World class, in fact. He was actually doing the baka-swordsman a _favour._

The thin fabric of Zoro’s shirt showed his tightly laced torso. As he turned to face the cook, Sanji watched his muscles glide smoothly and lock together. A light sheen of sweat added a glow to his tan and his dark eyes glinted with danger. He was clearly only just going along with this. Every little move Sanji made, he was flirting with death.

But to have Zoro tied up again… and with an almost plausible excuse! It was worth the risk. Heck, it was almost worth death. Not that he’d admit that to the shitty Marimo. He would have to thank Luffy when the idiot finally came back for them. Correction, IF the idiot came back for them.

The cook prayed that it wouldn’t be any time soon.

He took a light step-jump towards the handicapped swordsman. He spun effortlessly around the restrained hulk and struck out with his leg as he turned. Zoro avoided the kick and went low, as the cook flipped back onto his hands. Grumpy bastard might be quick but he couldn’t shift his centre of gravity quite as fast as Sanji could. Instead of flipping away, he stayed upside-down just long enough for Zoro to sail past him before pushing back onto his feet and knocking the swordsman sideways.

“You have to keep moving, baka. You can’t rely on people to just stand around waiting for you to hit them.” The cook grinned as Zoro got to his feet. The black stare had deepened by a few shades. He felt like he had a charging bull by the tail; adrenaline and exhilaration.

Each time the cook dodged, flipped and stretched his way out of Zoro’s reach, the swordsman got more and more frustrated. The waves of death pouring off him were starting to make the flowers along the shore-side wilt. He tried rolls, tackles, kicks, knee strikes, trips… everything that he could think of. Sanji just turned rings around him and knocked him back into the sand. The cook kept kicking his feet out from under him. He would feel the wave of smug hit first and then the sweeping kick would come from nowhere and send him hurtling into next week.

If he had his arms it wouldn’t have been a hassle. His reach was more than three hundred and sixty degrees so there was no issue. Unless he was left to fight with just his legs. Damn cook was inventive at least.

Zoro took three hits to the chest and stomach as the cook whirled around him. Then Sanji’s powerful hips swung through and the swordsman found himself looking at the sole of a shoe. The cook pulled the kick at the last minute and pushed off the swordsman’s chest to flip backwards, soaring into the air with the force of his strike. Zoro let the sweet sensation of the blonde’s violent rampage wash over him. He revelled in the power behind every punishing kick. The cook held nothing back.

_This_ was what Zoro had been missing.

Somehow, while he was so worried about his damn feelings, he had forgotten why he felt the way he did. The intensity of the cook’s blows, the sweetness of his touch, the acid of his tongue and the violent passion in his eyes. _Pure sex_ and not afraid to ram that fact down the swordsman’s throat every chance he got.

Before he had met this man, Zoro had divided the world into idiots and assholes. Luffy was the most wonderful person you could ever meet but he was an idiot.

Sanji was different.

He was definitely both. Especially if he thought that Zoro was going to meekly submit to whatever fool shit he was planning.

Sick of the cook knocking him around, he decided on a new strategy. He got close enough to taste the smoke on the cook’s breath and then he took the full force of the legendary kick. It hurt like a bastard but it worked. He bent his knee and trapped the dress shoe neatly behind it. Sanji’s other leg snapped around with lightning speed. Once Zoro was rolling though, he used his fall to slam into the cook’s bloodied chest, sending him spinning off balance. Sanji struggled and tried to get his footing but Zoro’s leg was firmly in between his and the swordsman grunted happily as he collapsed on top of the slender blonde.

He could hear the cook spluttering as he ate sand. He grinned and thought heavy thoughts.

“Alright!” the cook spat, “Get off me you oaf!” Zoro rolled off the struggling man and stood up. He shook the sand from his clothes and stretched; as much as being trussed up like a turkey would allow. The cook grumbled, spat and stood slowly, dusting the sand gingerly from his wounds.

“Are you quite done?” Zoro asked. He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth.

One side of the cook’s mouth curled as he walked over to Zoro. He put his hands on the swordsman’s chest and leaned forward to whisper in his ear,

“I don’t know. I like you like this.”

“You would,” Zoro growled.

The swordsman nipped at the cook’s jaw line. He trailed kisses into the soft blonde hair and then bit down, hard, on Sanji’s pulse.

“Ow! Aren’t you meant to be doing what I want?” the cook demanded.

The swordsman just stared at him with simmering green eyes. Sanji saw him tense his shoulders as his frown twitched, just like when he was suppressing a smirk and rubbing the cook with his katanas under the table at dinner. The cook closed the gap between them in an instant.

“Stop it!” he shouted as he threw his arms around Zoro’s bulk, trying to get to the buckle.

Zoro laughed and rolled his shoulders around, stretching the muscles which had allowed him to survive a life that was less than gentle. A loud crack announced the death of Sanji’s favourite black belt. The swordsman closed his arms down on the cook, trapping him against his chest. He could smell the cook’s blood and feel his nimble fingers already tracing circles around his nipples.

“ _Much better_.”

“That was my favourite belt.”

“Of course it was.” Zoro brushed the loose gold strands from the cook’s lips before claiming them for his own. He tasted the smoke, the spice and the heat that he had been craving. His hands trailed up the blonde’s chest, lingering on the shallow cuts. The many markings on Sanji's body were like a road map of all his victories, Zoro loved to trace the lines with his fingers and imagine what the other guy looked like... A strong hand gripped his wrist and he was re-directed firmly to the blonde’s ass.

“Don’t rub sand into my wounds, idiot,” Sanji mumbled into Zoro’s mouth. The swordsman pulled away and gripped those perfect hips, grinding into them with his own. The pressure and friction of the blonde’s hard body against him made him want to taste the cook and run his tongue over his every contour.

“So what stupid shit do you want me to do this time?” he whispered into the blonde's ear. He hated to admit it but some weird part of him was starting to enjoy playing Sanji’s mind games.

Especially the part where he got to beat the blonde at them. And this one was in the bag…

The cook trailed his long fingers down Zoro’s muscled chest and smiled as the swordsman ground their hips together. _So impatient._ Not that he couldn’t feel the blood pooling below his waist as Zoro leaned over him and pressed their aching groins together.

“Just follow me,” Sanji said. He turned to lead the swordsman away into the brush, one hand slipped into the haramaki. Zoro stood firm, unmoving.

“You should rinse off,” he said. His eyes lingered on the blonde's slender, sand-covered frame. Somehow during the fight he had lost his shirt and his gorgeous body was distracting as hell.

The blonde walked slowly to the water’s edge and took handfuls of water to rinse properly. It was probably a good idea. Zoro would just grind sand into his poor abused flesh otherwise. The swordsman left his precious weapons on the beach and dove in fully clothed. He emerged dripping wet and as soon as he hit the sand his hands were on Sanji's ass.

The cook kicked the idiot away far enough to gather his clothes and then dragged Zoro off into the forest. He didn’t want to wait anymore. He could feel the heat burning between his legs as he watched the water roll over Zoro's glorious body, making his clothes stick like a second skin. The twins would be fine.

At least until he was done with Zoro.

Zoro shook the water from his hair and let the blonde lead him without protest. With the promise of ass, he found it much easier to contain himself. Once they had arrived somewhere that met with the cook’s approval (damn forest all looked the same to him), Zoro set about the important business of checking the cook’s wounds. His bare, wet chest glistened as the swordsman traced the contours of his pectorals with hard kisses.

He let his lips skip lightly over the deeper cuts in the soft skin as he sunk to his knees. He tasted the salt and the blood and let his tongue slide over the perfect muscles that plunged below the cook’s belt. Well, where his belt used to be.

Zoro smirked into the first blonde curls peeking out of the low-slung pants.

He removed his swords and laid them gently on the ground beside him. Sanji stood tall with both his hands in his pockets, he stared at Zoro expectantly. Finally, the cook tousled his green hair before undoing the buttons on his own trousers with nimble fingers.

“Che, I’ll do it myself then,” he muttered. The swordsman’s hands were over his before the words had settled.

Zoro worked the fabric loose from those perfect hips and let the pants drop to the ground. The cook was naked again. His pink privates strained towards the sky as he stood, completely confident, staring down at Zoro. _What a tease._

Zoro slid his hands up Sanji’s legs, over his ass and up his back. He just wanted to slide his fingers down Sanji’s crack and listen to him moan. He rubbed the cook’s unharmed pink nipples as he caressed his way up to the killer cheekbones. He cupped Sanji’s chin and looked deep into the blue eyes as his other hand crept up the inside of the blonde’s thigh. Sanji kicked off his shoes and the pants lying in a pile at his feet. He extended a long leg and wrapped the swordsman up, pulling them firmly together.

Zoro moved his hand slowly from between them, sliding it over the cook’s naked body. He was rewarded with a gentle moan as his fingers lingered on the blonde’s hardness. He pulled Sanji into a deep kiss, biting his lips as he held the lithe body tight. Finally he could slide his hands down between those perfect dimpled cheeks…

Long nimble fingers began to work at the swordsman’s wet shirt. It was untucked and hands explored his chest before the shirt was lifted over his head and thrown into the undergrowth. The cook returned the kiss with a vengeance, breaking it only to order Zoro to take off more clothes.

“All of it, Marimo,” he laughed and nudged Zoro’s trousers with the ball of his foot. The swordsman was more than happy to oblige, even though it meant he had to let go of Sanji’s ass. But then again, he only had to let go of it long enough to get naked. The haramaki, shoes and pants disappeared into thin air right before the cook’s eyes. All that was left was one stupidly sexy, grumpy man, with a hard on that could probably break stone blocks.

Sanji was hypnotised again. He stepped forward and stroked slowly up the scar that Mihawk had left behind. It was jagged and pink, raised and angry. It marred the rolling waves of dark muscle but it suited him. He licked between Zoro’s collar bones, flicking his tongue over a hard brown nipple before going further down. He felt the swordsman’s muscles tense as he blew a soft breath on his cock. He touched his lips to the tip, hovering just to tease before taking Zoro in his mouth.

A throaty growl was his reward, as rough hands brushed the hair from his eyes. Sanji slid his lips slowly up Zoro’s hard, weeping cock. He let his tongue apply just the right amount of pressure as his fingernails sunk into the muscled ass-cheeks. Slowly he took the swordsman deep and buried his face in the soft green hair. His throat constricted over the ridged thickness, Zoro mumbled curses and closed his eyes. The cook licked and caressed, enjoying the taste and the feeling of Zoro’s tight ass in his hands. Finally, he applied his last lingering kisses and stood up, trailing his hands over the chiselled body that he could control for _one night only._

The thought made him quiver in anticipation. He wanted desperately to fuck Zoro. To fuck him so hard that his balls would be bruised from bouncing... So fucking hard that he wouldn’t dare to ask for more. He had been desperate ever since the first and only time. The memories of Marimo bucking wildly under him screaming ‘harder!’… He would have to at least try to make that perfect fantasy of pounding some respect into him come true.

Zoro smirked and pulled the blonde closer by his chin.

“What are you scheming now?” he asked, peering intently into the electric blue eyes.

He didn’t have time to reply before the swordsman’s other hand ran slowly from beneath his balls and then seized him firmly and began to stroke. Sanji moaned as he felt the deft fingers caress him and another hand slid down and began to tease the crack of his ass. He’d gotten so excited thinking about what he would do that he could barely stop from grinding into Zoro’s palm. The swordsman chuckled and ran his tongue along the cook’s ear before taking it in his mouth. He nibbled it and then lifted his fingers from the pert ass. He could feel the cook’s need, hot and desperate in the way his hips swung and the way his fingers clawed at every part of Zoro’s skin they touched. He smirked at the breathy moans the cook was trying to suppress and took a firm fistful of the soft blonde hair and pulled Sanji’s head back, gentle but firm. The swordsman’s teeth grazed his neck as he nibbled and sucked just hard enough to leave a trail of angry red marks. The cook drew a deep shuddering breath, Zoro’s fingers closed tighter around him. The rough lips skirted over his and the hand still tangled in his hair pulled him back until he was about to lose his balance. The kiss deepened and Zoro’s hands were suddenly both clutching his ass. The hands tightened and Sanji was lifted into the air, the kiss taking away any chance he has to protest and suddenly he’s naked on the ground with sticks up his ass and a very determined Marimo pressing him into the dirt.

_What just happened?_

Before he had time to grumble about being in charge, one of his legs was pressed to his shoulder. A hot wet tongue slid up the underside of his thigh and blunt nails followed, spiralling up the sensitive parts of the cook's powerful legs and making the sensation of hot lips closing down on him even more intense.

He felt his whole cock disappear into paradise as lips that were made for sucking dealt with him with an efficiency that was slightly terrifying. The blonde could feel the rising tide of orgasm pooling in his stomach, so he put his hands into the short green hair and pulled. Zoro ignored him. He pulled harder. Zoro moaned and the vibrations of his throaty bass sent shivers up the cook’s spine. Suddenly, the hot lips were gone and Sanji was aware of deft hands lifting his hips. One of his legs was still over Zoro’s shoulder and the swordsman lifted him high and let his rough lips tease the tight skin on his balls.

This was not going to help.

He felt a wet heat press down on him and teasing fingers skirted; threatening to penetrate but never quite fulfilling. He realised he’d been holding his breath and he gasped as Zoro's talented tongue was put to a use that he had never even imagined. The heat that had been simmering between the cook’s legs became a blazing fire and he wriggled against Zoro’s touch, desperate for more.

Sanji moaned, loud, his breath coming in wordless huffs of ecstasy. He didn’t care what it was; he just wanted something inside him. Preferably something big and hot and controlled by a man who knew a lot about how to handle a sword but anything would fucking do right now.

He could hear Zoro chuckling as he wrapped one hand around the cook’s dripping cock and massaged in time to his forceful tongue. He didn't care what the hell Marimo thought. He just wanted to be fucked. His whole body went rigid as two fingers pressed hard on his opening. Zoro’s tongue lifted and once more, the cook was fully in his mouth. Sanji gasped and prayed to whatever pervert god was watching to have release.

Zoro lifted his lips and slowly lowered the blonde back to the ground.

“ _Fuck me_ ,” the swordsman said.

Sanji couldn't believe his ears. _Oh. Fuck._

_Thank you._

It was too good to be true. Zoro had to be just fucking with his head.

“So you want me to...?”

The swordsman just stared at him. He really wasn't the best communicator but he had been pretty damn clear. Well, if he was there for the taking... Sanji stifled a nosebleed and let his imagination run wild.

"I really did like you all tied up. Very fucking hot. Maybe if you could.."

"No way, pervert." The swordsman laughed easily and stretched his perfect body, muscles rippled under the light bruises from Sanji's fevered kisses. He seemed quite relaxed given how he'd reacted when the cook first slipped his fingers into that slick, muscled paradise.

"So what did you have in mind then?" the cook purred. He slid his fingers slowly down Zoro's back and then dipped between the swordsman's legs. Using the moisture already on his fingers from Zoro, he pushed one firmly into the perfect, tight, ring of muscle. Zoro pulled his chin up and kissed him deeply, moaning into the cook when he thrust deeper.

"I want to be on top," he said firmly.

Sanji bit his stomach lightly and ran his tongue along Zoro's hard-on. That was fine with him. He liked to watch Zoro come, he was like a wild animal on heat and it was raw and fucking sexy.

The cook sat down and pulled gently on Zoro's sticky erection.

"Come on then." _Damn._ He still had no idea what to say to Zoro. He was _too fucking hot_. Sanji's whole body tingled with the memory of his touch. His cock burned with need for Zoro. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to do this, he was having trouble sleeping as it was but he didn't care. He lay back as the swordsman settled on top of him. He wriggled and enjoyed the flustered look on Zoro's always-serious face as Sanji pressed against his ass. He really did want this.

_Zoro was a cock-fiend._

It was just too damn hot.

The cook stroked the swordsman's erection and pulled him down into a rough kiss. The swordsman plunged his tongue into the willing mouth and then pushed Sanji back, pinning him to the ground.

"You just sit still and watch how it's done." The swordsman smirked as the faint flush of anger competed with the raw lust for dominance of the cook's features. Before the idiot could get upset, Zoro ground his hips down and felt Sanji's hardness grind into him. They were both so damn wet that there was no need for lube. He raised his hips and felt the cook's tip against his aching need. He felt his muscles fight against it, a delicious pain that was like being torn in two by an orgasm. He slowly sunk onto Sanji's cock, letting the perfect pain linger as the cook filled him with desperate heat. Sanji was biting his lip and putting up a very-token struggle. Zoro still had his arms pinned above his head.

He arched his back as the pain disappeared and he was left with only that delicious feeling. He decided he liked it this way; Sanji was so far inside him that he could practically taste him. The swordsman raised his hips and found a nice grind. Sanji thrust up against the swordsman, increasing the forceful friction of every hard jerk. Zoro released the cook's hands and guided them to his hips.

" _Hold on tight_ ," he said.

The swordsman sat up and smirked as Sanji wordlessly dung his fingers hard into Zoro's hips. Zoro let Sanji slide almost completely out of him and then slammed their bodies back together. Sanji arched against the sudden sensation, he let out a low moan and began to swear. Now the swordsman had him right where he needed him. He could feel the rock hard cock hitting his insides with every hard thrust. He wanted Sanji to split him open, to fuck him until there was nothing he could do but spray come on that perfect chest and wonder if he had internal bleeding.

He didn't fucking care if he did.

He rode Sanji mercilessly, arching his back to get the best angle on every thrust. Sanji held him desperately, his fingers pulling the swordsman hard towards his chest and then ramming their groins together again. Somehow the cook got a hand to his throbbing cock and began to rub Zoro in time to their desperate struggles.

The force between them was blinding, Zoro could feel their hip bones slamming together as Sanji's moans got higher and shorter. He impaled himself on the thrusting cook harder and harder with every stroke. Sanji gasped and the fingernails pulling Zoro in drew blood.

"Fuck Marimo... oh FUCK," he choked and Zoro felt the heat of the cook coming deep in the pit of his stomach.

He leaned over as Sanji twitched and covered his insides, he felt the heat surging between his legs and he drove the cook into him with one last heave. The world went black for a minute and then suddenly in an explosion of white he was screaming something about a perverted shit head and pulling his muscles tight against something impossibly fucking hard.

\-----------------

"I have come in my eyebrows."

Slowly Zoro's vision returned to normal. He was still sitting on Sanji with the cook buried in his ass. What he had just said finally sunk in. Zoro laughed and Sanji wriggled as the swordsman's ass jiggled his now very sensitive parts.

"It's not funny, shit-head!"

"You should be impressed." Zoro sat up, still panting with the exertion and stared down at the cook smugly. Clearly he had no intention of going anywhere. Sanji wriggled just enough to slide out of the swordsman then flipped him unceremoniously into the nearest bush. Zoro rolled back to his feet effortlessly and stared down at the grumpy blonde, grinning.

He gathered up his shirt, pants and haramaki and then flopped down next to the blonde, wrapping one arm around his slender bare waist.

"What are you doing?" Sanji asked.

"Sleeping."

"Like hell you are!" The blonde tried to escape the strong arms but they were firmly fixed around him.

"I'm just trying to be polite. You were the one who wanted to cuddle first, pervert," Zoro's arm tightened around the blonde and pulled him closer. Sanji was sure that was the last thing on the idiot's mind. _Polite. Har de fucking har._ A gentle snore began to issue from the cook's side. He sighed and tried to decide whether one perfect moment of being held was worth ten more minutes with half a forest up his ass.

“Oi, Marimo?”

“Ngh?”

“Call me love-cook, asshole.”

\-----------------------


	18. To Have Your Cake...

Sanji knelt down, his knees sinking into the warm sand. He brushed the dark hair away and then rested his finger tips on the pale throat. He could feel the blood pulsing, steady, just below the surface. At least he was still alive. Stupid Marimo had hit them too hard though.

“Giving them permanent brain damage is pretty much the same as killing them,” the cook muttered in Zoro’s general direction. The twins were still there and they were still out cold. Looks like Mr. Restraint still had quite a bit to learn.

The tide was going out now and the sun was just starting to sink on the horizon. Soon it would be sunset, then dusk and finally a clear starry night. A perfect night for seducing. Pity moss-head would probably sleep straight through it...

So instead of planning a romantic night with the ladies, Sanji decided to concentrate on what he knew would be appreciated. He collected some wood, intending to set his *slightly* pyromaniac tendencies to good use. Zoro saw the pile of wood building on the beach and took his cue. At least he wasn’t a slouch when it came to killing things. He went striding into the water armed with nothing but a pointy stick. It was totally uncalled for given that he had his swords but the stupid oaf refused to put them in sea water unless he had to. Sanji looked up from making his tepee of twigs to see the swordsman thrashing about trying to kill a shark by stabbing it in the eye.

Somehow he even managed to make getting eaten look sexy.

_Idiot._

Once Marimo finally came back, they sat in companionable silence and ate while they watched the burning sun sink into infinity.

When the crew found them, they were eating char grilled flake cooked on a roaring fire.

“Swordsman-san, Cook-san, here you are.” Robin’s calm voice was the cure for all of Sanji’s newly-perceived woes.

“Robin-chwan! Thank Kami! Over here!!!” The cook called out.

“There is a fire. They can probably see us,” Zoro grumbled.

“Meat!!!” Luffy screamed, throwing himself up the beach in a couple of rubbery strides. He arrived first and began to help himself to dinner. Half-way through a particularly large mouthful, he paused long enough to spray his joy at finding them both well. He looked like butter wouldn’t melt in his damn mouth. Two right eyebrows twitched in unison.

Nami, Usopp and Robin stepped into the halo of firelight. Chopper hurtled from between the legs of the crew and hit Sanji square in the chest like a furry rocket.

“Careful,” the cook chuckled.

“Sanji! What happened to you?!” the reindeer wailed. “Someone call a Doctor!!!”

Zoro rolled his eyes, while a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“He’s fine,” the swordsman said but Chopper was off. He was already whizzing around Sanji at break neck speed, lifting the cook’s arms and poking him astutely here and there.

Zoro finally turned on his Captain.

“Why’d you leave us on the island?” ne said; nice and slow just in case Luffy missed it due to the loud scoffing noises.

“Mgh..dft..ou...” Luffy laughed, choked a little, swallowed and then finally spoke.

“Because you guys are idiots!” he said and laughed until tears started to roll down his cheeks.

Zoro turned a funny colour but somehow he managed to stay sitting down. “Let’s get back to the ship then,” he managed to force out.

“Wait a minute.” Sanji stood up and walked out across the sand. “Chopper, can you take a look at these two, they’ve been out cold for at least a few hours now. I hope they’re ok,” Sanji glared at Zoro who returned the glare, with interest.

Chopper scrambled over and checked both of Zoro’s opponents from head to toe. A barrage of questions accompanied his analysis, most of them about how these two had come to be knocked out in the first place. This of course gave Sanji lots of scope for more staring. Finally, Chopper was done with his check-up.

“They’re not unconscious anymore, they’re actually asleep. It’s quite a deep sleep but their pupils are normal so they should be fine when they wake up.”

After a collective sigh of relief, the crew began to put out the fire and “pack up” the flake. Sanji managed to save the fins. Certainly not worth wasting a delicacy like that on Luffy. Once everything was organised, Zoro called out to the fuzzy Doctor to come along.

"Oi!"

“But we can’t leave them here! What if they get in trouble? They’re completely vulnerable out here asleep!” Chopper wailed.

“They’ll be fine.” Zoro remembered the strength they had displayed. Even though they weren’t ready yet, there was no way a night on the beach would kill them.

“You can’t know that!” he squeaked, “As a Doctor I can’t just leave them here to the mercy of the elements, even if it just rained on them the...”

“They’ll be fine!” Nami’s voice was stern and resolute. Sanji stepped up behind her and blew smoke hearts into the night air. He spoke to his sweet Mellorine,

“How did they find us anyway? I didn’t see anybody out there on the water while Luffy was rowing us out.” Two pairs of calculating eyes levelled on the Captain.

“Well,” Nami turned and rolled her eyes, “some idiot dropped you in their front yard. We asked around at the pub and that guy with the horrible moustache was with them. This is their island.” She glared at Luffy as he peered into the sky after Sanji’s vanishing hearts, completely oblivious.

“So they’ll really be ok?” Chopper whispered up at the navigator. His big eyes misted over ever so slightly as he sniffed and coughed to cover it up. Nami smiled and knelt down so she was on his level.

“Yes they’ll be ok. They’re above the high tide line. Plus, people will be coming to get them very soon. It’s actually a very small island and now that it’s getting dark the fire must have been spotted. And we will still be here when they get here if we don’t get a move on right now.” Nami finished up with a wide gesture and swept the Doctor, along with Usopp, up and along the beach towards the ship.

Robin chuckled as she watched the redhead herd the crew ahead of her. She managed somehow to organise the rabble and stop violence erupting for long enough to get everyone back onto the Merry. She even got them into bed without protest.

_Formidable and wonderful indeed._

\-----------------

“Is this really ok?” Chopper asked; his eyes wide with concern.

Sanji and Zoro grinned back. Their mouths twitched in smiles of pure sadism. It was clear they were going to inflict as much pain as possible and they were going to love it. Chopper edged just a little further behind Usopp’s knees. He didn’t like it when they got like this. It made him wonder just how good an idea it was to be stuck in a confined space with these two for weeks on end... They were probably both quite susceptible to cabin fever and they were clearly driven to acts of mindless violence.

The furry lad cringed as Luffy was twisted one more time and pegged to the deck. Zoro and Sanji had strung him up from the mast and they were setting about finding the most effective way to use him for target practice. Luffy was enjoying it at first, so that just made them twist harder... Now he was not having so much fun.

“Zoooroooo! I said I’m sorry...” he whinged, “let me down now, ok?”

Zoro smiled across at Sanji, his teeth gleaming in the sunlight.

“First shot?” The swordsman asked.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Sanji took a deep breath of smoke and savoured the sight. Luffy’s rubbery tummy was stretched beyond all reason. His clothes didn’t stretch so it looked like someone had pinned a vest and a pair of shorts to a thick flesh-coloured rope to dry. A very vocal rope. The cook took the rope tied around the waist of his Captain from Zoro. There was a lot of resistance; Luffy was going to _fucking fly._ They were still in the archipelago and they were facing the largest island so there was only a slim chance that he would fall into the ocean, sink like a stone and drown his sorry ass. Sanji lined up his shot.

“Saaaaaanjiiiiii! Don’t shoot me onto the island. I only wanted to give you t..” He was cut off abruptly as the cook let go of the rope and sent the rubber boy hurtling into space. He cleared the water between them and the island and then, with a faint whistling noise, he fell into the swamp head first.

“Nice,” Zoro said, smirking. _A compliment? What was he playing at?_

“Try to do better shit-head.”

“I will, love-cook.” The bastard said it like an insult and an endearment all rolled into one. He could even detect a hint of extra gravel in the deep voice. _Lust._

_Maybe ‘pervert’ was better after all…_

\------------------

For a fighter, a fight is just a fight. To a warrior, it’s _war._

A war against weakness, a war against cowardice, a war against betrayal.

A war against yourself.

Against your own mind; your own body. A warrior that conquers themselves is undefeatable. She had doubted herself.

Had he lost sight of what it meant to be a warrior? Was he letting his passion cloud his judgement?

He knew the cook probably just said it off the cuff. He spent half his time just rambling on about crap. Zoro had found it a lot more interesting recently for some reason but even he had trouble focussing sometimes. But he couldn’t help but think about it. Sanji had stopped him from fighting. It was only for a minute but the damn cook had dared to restrain him. It was a fucking outrage.

Worse, the swordsman had no idea if he was _right._

Then again, there were only so many good swordsmen around. If he killed them all before they’d reached their prime then the competition would be woeful...

But in the end, he knew he was just kidding himself.

_Better than that._

Was he really? Was his technique really good enough that he didn’t have to rely on death blows for every foe? What if he underestimated someone? What would he do if his mistake resulted in his death and he couldn’t keep his promise? What if love-cook died because of his stupidity?

So many damn questions and this time he couldn’t run away. This was _his dream_ and he needed to know exactly what that meant.

\----------------

Sanji stared at the swordsman. He was pulling some ridiculously huge weight up to chest height and then swinging it from one side to the other; muscles rippling and gleaming as per usual. Nami had said he couldn’t do it when it was rough because it made the ship wobble off course. The cook’s eyes wandered to the flame haired dream. She was sunning herself on the deck. He had heard that they were due to arrive at some winter islands soon, so he enjoyed the view while it lasted. Her pale skin was ever so slightly flushed from the heat. A sharp pain in his right hand reminded him that he had been smoking a cigarette before this gorgeous flesh-fest had utterly distracted him. He swore and dropped the smoke, which had burnt down to the filter and ground it out on the deck.

Something had been up with Zoro. Not random jumping overboard, screaming in his sleep, running away from and / or groping the cook at every chance he got (normal Zoro) weird, either. It was something even stranger. It was almost as if he was trying to get the cook to do something. Sanji couldn’t really tell. It wasn’t really anything in particular, he was just… _weird._

The cook slowly lit another cigarette and began to mull over the information he had at hand. Zoro was training, just like he always did. But it wasn’t quite like it always was. Sanji brushed blonde strands out of his eyes and scrutinised the swordsman’s moves. He had put the weight down and now he was into the unarmed warm-up he always did before pulling out his precious swords. His movements were so powerful and precise. What he lacked in grace, he made up for in force …but if you put a katana in his hands, suddenly he moved like liquid gold. Sanji would never understand it.

The swordsman’s defined body moved in clear, direct lines. He stepped through the Kata with perfect form but something was lacking. Even though it looked like exactly the same movements that the cook had seen time and time again, Zoro wasn’t sending out big waves of air just doing his warm-up like he normally would.

He was holding back.

The cook leaned on the railing, took a deep breath of smoke and pondered this for a while. Maybe the idiot had actually listened to him and was going to try not to kill so many people. Not very likely really but not entirely beyond the outer limits of the realms of possibility. Zoro was a random guy and this was pretty much the last thing the cook would expect. The swordsman had touched him so _softly_ though… What the fuck was with that?

The way the mossy idiot had stepped back and looked away. For a minute Sanji had seen a part of Zoro that he never knew existed. Like some secret that, once learned, could never be unlearned. Now he knew Zoro had a limited capacity for emotions, he was a little stumped. Maybe Marimo had decided to listen to him and tone down on the slaughter. He had done weirder things before.

But they had never made Sanji feel this uncomfortable, that was for sure.

What the hell was he supposed to do in response though? He couldn’t ignore it. Bastard might never show an emotion - except anger - ever again. But he didn’t want to make a fuss. This was Roronoa Zoro. For all that the cook mocked him, he did have a certain awe-inspiring quality. Sanji had attributed it to killing intent. Whenever you annoyed the swordsman you always got a little instinctive burst of adrenaline, like your body was priming you to run for your life.

Even though he wanted to say something, he didn’t really want to get killed. Or end up with his foot wedged so far down his throat that only ass surgery would get it out. Damn random Marimo.

Sanji walked slowly down the steps. He strode past Nami (a Herculean task) and walked up to where Zoro was sweating away.

“Thanks for the other day. Your judgement is really good; I knew I could trust you.”

The cook turned away hastily and left before anyone could get too uncomfortable.

Zoro watched the cook’s back as he swept up the stairs. He leant over to pick up his swords and fiddled with the binding on Yubashiri for a minute. He couldn’t contain the smile that smothered all his doubts.

In the cold that thawed, in the moonlit night, one truth makes everything else humble.

He didn’t trust himself now. He always had before; before them, before this. He had unshakeable faith in his ability to conquer all enemies, to strive, to fight, to get stronger and better and faster, until there was nowhere left to go and no-one left to kill.

But he _trusted Sanji_ ; and that idiot love-cook said he could do it.

In the end, it was so simple.

\-------------------

Nami let the sound of the waves wash through her mind as she lay back and soaked up the sunshine. It was a beautiful day with no chance of rain, wind, storms, or snow. At least in the next fifteen minutes. She knew she was good but it never paid to underestimate the unpredictability of the Grand Line. Hopefully today it would change its mind about changing its mind half-way through changing its mind and just stay calm.

She could hear the current surging forwards underneath the bow, the whistle of the wind as it shifted ever so slightly North North-West and the comforting creaks of the hull as the waves lapped against it. It was a welcome medley to ears ever-alert for the slightest hint of danger. Just for a second, she could relax. Sometimes she wondered what Luffy had done without her; but not for long. The answer was pretty obvious; stupid, stupid things. But there were more important things to think about than the weather and Luffy being an idiot.

_For once._

Her fingers twitched ever so slightly with an involuntary spasm of glee. It was so hard to suppress it when she knew… what she knew. And it was so out of the blue!

She knew something was up with them; they had been acting twelve different types of weird for weeks. But _lovers?_ It was just not quite what she had expected. It made her re-think a lot of things. She had always prided herself on being the observant type but somehow this had happened right in front of her nose without her even noticing. Maybe there were more important things that she had missed. It was disconcerting to say the least. And exciting. Oh boy, was it exciting!

Life stuck on a ship with the idiots had been getting a little dull. It wasn’t that she was sick of life as a Straw-Hat Pirate. She loved them and their bizarre lifestyle; there was nothing she would rather be doing than following her dream with them. It was just that there was so little real excitement! She had intellectual challenges: her maps and fighting storms that no normal navigator would survive. Physical challenges, like constantly having to fight, break up fights and survive near-death experiences. She had little indulgences, like a day shopping and gourmet food. She had good company and even people she could talk to - especially now that Robin was with them - but nothing to occupy her time. She had never read much for recreation and out at sea there was no gossip, no pub full of old salts to fool and no men she was interested in. For some reason, the idea of having two very attractive (if meat headed) men going at it in the next room made it all so much more _palatable._

At first she had thought it was too good to be true. As she was pelting away from the hotel at break neck speed, she wondered belatedly if Robin had been having her on. To make sure she knew what was going on, she immediately set about securing evidence for herself. She was convinced now that Robin was right. Even if she couldn’t really comprehend it, they HAD to be having sex.

There was simply no other explanation.

_Zoro and Sanji were having sex._

How had it even happened?! So many bizarre images invaded her mind. Zoro drunkenly crawling into bed with Sanji thinking he was a woman… Sanji forcing Zoro to prostitute himself for sake… Zoro in a dress and Sanji on bended knee asking him to dance… She shook her head and tried to make it stop. Maybe it was just final clinching proof that they’d been at sea for way too long together and they were finally losing the last dregs of what served them both for sanity… The real story was probably just as hilarious and just as wrong.

She still wanted to see it for herself though.

The thought made her flush just a little. No, not like that! Just to see them together to settle it once and for all in her mind. No matter how obvious it seemed now she had watched the way they interacted, she knew it wouldn’t sink in properly unless she had conclusive proof. Sanji was so obsessed with women and Zoro was… _Zoro._ He wasn’t exactly the romantic type. If they were doing it, it would have to be sex of the quickest and dirtiest type. She flushed again. She didn’t really mean to think about that *quite* so much. The point was she wouldn’t catch them cuddling on the deck late at night. So far all she had was meaningful glances and the contented silence surrounding them when they were collected from their little outing. Once again, she knew she was good but there was no way she should have been able to keep them under control for long enough to leave the island. No arguing on the way back, even.

_Kami._

_What kind of sex were those men having?_

She flushed again as a kaleidoscope of possibilities spun through her mind.

\--------------------


	19. Apple of My Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I like this chapter XD
> 
> \---xxx---

The navigator leaned over the rail and tried to find the elusive ‘thing-on-the-horizon’ Zoro had been staring at for the last half an hour. They were due to get to the first of the winter islands at around four in the morning but she knew there was no way he could see it from here.

“So, how are you?” she asked.

“What do you want?” Zoro replied, speaking out into the vast ocean.

“I can’t just ask my nakama how they are?” Nami was slightly affronted but she was used to him and he had a point. She didn’t really do anything without a reason.

“You can. You just wouldn’t.” The swordsman smirked into the breeze.

“Fine! I’m probably better off not knowing what’s happening in your head anyway. Who knows what horrors I might find?” She smirked back, letting a comfortable silence settle as she made herself at home. This was the way they had always been together. The others seemed to think that they hated each other but it was far from the truth. Sure, they swore at, abused and generally made life hell for each other but that was just the way they were.

Zoro had grown up surrounded by fighters and she had grown up surrounded by mermen. Hard men have hard ways and she knew that Zoro understood that. After so many years building up the armour to survive, it became a part of you. Part of the way you walked, the way you spoke, the way you interacted. So many people found her hard and brusque. So many people were afraid of her.

_Not Zoro._

She abused and berated him and he just returned the favour. Sometimes he made out like it was all a terrible burden and sometimes she made out that he was a hopeless idiot (true enough, actually) but they shared an understanding. In a world that was meant to be full of hardened men, they knew that there was one person that they could talk to without wearing the kid gloves. One person who wouldn’t just switch off the second that a home truth was spoken. One person who knew that a harsh word could be the best way to protect a broken and bleeding heart. And maybe even the way to put it back together.

“So are you going to tell me what’s going on, or do I have to beat it out of you?” Nami asked.

“Like to see you try.”

“I’ll do it, Marimo. Don’t test me.”

Turned out this comment was the one that broke him. He actually laughed. “You sound just like Sanji.”

“Do I?” Nami said, letting his comments lead the conversation. Once Zoro knew she was gathering information, he would clam up like... well, a very grumpy green clam.

“Yeah, he’s always threatening to kick my ass, as if he could.”

“Maybe he thinks it’s the only way he can interact with you.”

“What, getting whooped? Funny way to communicate,” Zoro scoffed.

“I guess.” _He could talk!_

“He probably just doesn’t like me.” The comment was flat and he even accompanied it by picking fluff off his shirt but it wasn’t fooling anybody.

_Interesting._ Zoro was actually fishing... looked like they both had something to learn. She considered her response carefully.

“I don’t know, he spends more time with you than anyone else.”

Zoro’s head moved ever so slightly away. The angle made it hard to read his expression.

“Yeah, getting his ass kicked. Idiot.”

So he was still on the defensive.

“You guys have been training together though, haven’t you? Not just fighting.”

Zoro shuffled and nodded to the ocean.

“Why would he do that if he hates you, baka?”

The swordsman shrugged. He was fast retreating into Zoro’s private zone of introspection... A short sharp slap should do the trick.

“I can ask what he thinks if you like. I won’t say you wanted to know...”

“ _NO_.” Zoro blurted out, far too fast.

“Oh really?” She turned to face him and let one eyebrow travel resolutely up her brow.

Zoro glared at her.

“Touchy, aren’t we?” she said.

“Shut up,” Zoro replied and marched off into the galley. Once upon a time he would have gone straight to the crow’s nest for solitary time. Now it seemed he had somewhere else to go for comfort.

This might be even weirder than she had thought.

\--------------------

Robin watched Nami and Zoro interact. If she had wanted to, she could have heard what they were saying but it would be much more pleasant to hear it from her.

Once the swordsman had marched off – to see Sanji no doubt – the archaeologist took his place at the wooden railing. The ocean was calm and the sky was scattered with tiny wisps of fast-moving grey cloud.

“So how is our lover-boy doing?” she asked quietly.

“Seems to be having some issues, actually,” Robin smiled down at the red-head, who saw the look and offered a rejoinder, “more than usual.”

“Issues?”

That was an interesting word, especially for Zoro. Robin didn’t really know him very well but he certainly didn’t strike her as the girly-heart-to-heart type. What could Nami have possibly said to get that much out of him? _Bribes? Threats?_

The mind boggled.

“Robin, this is going to sound bizarre but...” Nami turned and faced her, her auburn hair catching the sunlight and billowing softly in the breeze, “do you think that there could be more to it than just sex?”

“Possibly.”

Nami considered this for a minute.

“Even though they’re both emotionally challenged?” The navigator frowned slightly, no doubt the result of her brain being taxed beyond all normal functioning parameters by the thought of those two being nice to each other.

“Even then,” Robin said softly. Even though they seemed so childish, those two men had a lot to offer each other. If only they could get the balance between them right. It would be terrible if they had a huge falling out and one of them ended up dismembered, or served in a pie… Luffy would probably eat it, for one...

“How could we have missed it?” Nami’s voice was only a whisper now, almost as if she was thinking out loud.

“Sometimes the most obvious things are the hardest to see.”

“Please don’t get too philosophical on me.” Nami sighed.

Robin chuckled. She really was a strange girl. Not to be deterred, the archaeologist re-phrased,

“How about this then: sometimes if you don’t know what to look for, you won’t see it even if it’s right before your eyes.” She looked deep into said wise brown eyes and wondered for the thousandth time how someone who was so clever could be so oblivious.

\------------------

Zoro marched into the galley muttering curses.

“Damn nosey sea witch... Always up to no fucking good...” Sanji was putting the dishes away. A polished black dress shoe with a tea cup balanced on it swept into Zoro’s field of vision, stopping inches from his face.

“What!?!” the swordsman barked.

“Don’t speak about Nami-chan like that.” Sanji’s voice was clear and low.

_Great, he’d managed to piss Sanji off practically before he even got in the door. Round of applause for that one._

“Sorry,” he muttered, as he collapsed onto the nearest bench seat with a defeated slump.

The tea cup slowly lowered until it was level with his face again. With a lightning quick swipe, it was flipped onto the other side of the foot it was resting on and set on the shelf. The cook stared down at him with an expression halfway between annoyance and puzzlement. His eyes were wide. _What, he’d pissed him off_ again _already?_

“So, how are you?” Sanji asked.

Zoro rolled his eyes, “You sound just like Nami.”

Fierce blue eyes bored into his, “And that’s a bad thing?”

“No.” _And again, one more time just for effect._ Now he was slumping so much he was in danger of sliding off the seat altogether. _Damn it._

Sanji closed the cupboard doors and sat down opposite him.

The blonde had started to get used to his mooching around taking up space. No matter how much he chased Zoro out of the galley, he just came back in. Seemed like Marimo was going to get Sanji’s attention no matter what. In the end it was much less humiliating for both of them to just let him sit there.

Although it was a bit of an understatement to call drowning in a puddle of your own luke-warm apathy ‘sitting’.

“So everything is fine then. Good.” The cook glared at Zoro, clearly expecting him to challenge that statement.

The swordsman didn’t really know what to say. Everything WAS good. He was in love and the man he loved trusted him and his fighting prowess enough to risk his life on it. In Zoro’s limited experience, that was as good as life got.

_Was it really not enough?_

The swordsman got that pained expression. He looked like someone had stuck his head in a vice and started to turn the screws. He must be desperate if he was resorting to thinking this early in the day. Sanji wondered briefly if all the sawdust would run out… He didn’t seem any less moody either, despite the cook’s attempt to play nice. Getting touchy feely was quite a brave move really and shit head hadn’t even mentioned it!

Sanji felt a vague nagging unease. He still felt like Zoro wanted him to notice something and he had no idea what. He was pretty sure from Zoro’s constant grumbling that he wasn’t exactly thrilled. Maybe he was too much of an idiot to know how the speech went. It wasn’t that hard. Zoro just had to open his mouth and say that he’d had his fun but it was over now. The cook could take it.

He sighed.

It was _typical_. Just when he thought that there might be something more... Zoro was the same as always. Was it just a random moment? Did he imagine the look in the swordsman’s eyes as he held his chin steady and made his promise?

He badly needed a return to normality.

“Good. Then help me with the drying,” he shoved a towel and a plate at the swordsman.

He didn’t understand why Zoro came here. He didn’t even make a pass sometimes. On reflection, maybe the fact that he hadn’t said anything about the cook’s gratitude was a good thing, Sanji had wondered if he would take a kind word well. They’d never really had much to say to each other that wasn’t banter, outright abuse or talking dirty.

Sanji always assumed that Zoro didn’t really do emotions. He knew the guy must have a heart somewhere just because of how much he cared for his nakama. Sanji had seen that proved many times. But that was the loyalty of a warrior; the dedication to the people who you fight with… surely? Zoro hadn’t actually been with them this whole time because he _liked them?_ Not just liked them but _really_ liked them?

Did he really know Zoro at all?

If they could talk like they had on that wind-swept beach, without masks and daggers drawn... Even just a few words...

Still, it was hard to believe. The swordsman was grumpy and cold. He hadn’t melted when Sanji offered him an olive branch, he’d frozen. Even though he was nicer than ever, he was still distant; unreachable. He’d continued to add more strange behaviour to his repertoire: not being an ass all of the time, offering to help with the cooking and the latest – the apology _. Since when had Zoro said sorry?_ It was too fucking bizarre for words.

But it wasn’t as strange as how he felt. He kept seeing Zoro’s face as he promised to follow the cook’s wishes just once. He kept hearing his voice and feeling his touch, unbelievably gentle on his face. And it wasn’t so hard to walk past Nami, because he had wanted to talk to Zoro. _Only Zoro._ He didn’t want to sit on the deck gazing at those lovely ladies. He wanted to sit in the galley and learn what the swordsman was thinking about when he looked so miserable.

And it scared him.

He didn’t get attached. It was something he learned when he was young, a façade of chivalry that bought all women close while simultaneously keeping them at a distance. He fell in love with the idea of a woman, with the concept of everything feminine and divine. He loved all women because they were women. It was impersonal but it was pure and it was _safe._ Why did he like Zoro? He fit none of his previous ideals of beauty, he was difficult to understand and most of the time he was just an asshole.

Why had he really stopped kicking the man out of his kitchen? And why the hell did he stay?

“Can I have a drink?” Zoro had straightened up and taken the towel. He seemed a little more relaxed.

“It’s eleven in the morning!” the cook replied, aghast.

“I know, it’s a bit early for drying up I guess…” The swordsman laughed as Sanji threw a second tea towel at his head.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” the blonde leaned over the table and lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “I got extra sake at the last port. If you’re good, I’ll let you have some after lunch.” Zoro swept across the table top and landed roughly next to the cook, he wrapped him up in his arms and smothered him with kisses.

Sanji spluttered and tried to shove him away. Well, for at least five seconds. Now _that_ was a Herculean effort. Soon the hot body and rough lips pressed against him had their normal effect. He renewed his efforts at self-control and somehow managed to get a foot between them before it was too late.

“Tomorrow we’ll be on land. Just try to curb your enthusiasm until then, moss-head.”

Zoro was suddenly standing behind the cook, his hands resting on the blonde’s shoulders. He leaned down and let his lips brush the nape of the cook’s neck,

“I’ll try to contain myself,” he growled.

\----------------

The deck kept getting closer and then farther, closer then farther…

Luffy hung upside down from the cross bar of the main sail and bounced happily. His arms provided him with a personal bungee cord and he always liked to take advantage. Even his punishment hadn’t deterred him. The Gomu Gomu fruit was certainly the best one to eat of them all.

How boring would it be to be slippery?!

The joys of bouncing were made even better by the way things were all working out. Zoro and Sanji were getting on so well. Even though they were both still grouchy he could tell they were feeling better. They were talking and looking away and smiling and then looking back. It was obviously love. The trip to the island had done them heaps of good. He knew it was a great idea!

It might even have been worth being up to his waist in swamp... Upside down. It had even been that really thick grey mud that smells like old fish paste. _Yuck._

They were idiots, though.

If he had someone who felt that way about him he wouldn’t muck around like that. At least it was good now. He hadn’t liked watching them both so sad. The food didn't taste as good and Zoro didn’t smile at his jokes anymore. _No fun!_

Maybe they would get married or something. He wasn’t really sure how it worked…

But he was sure that whatever happened, as long as he had his nakama with him, everything would be alright.

\---------------

As the moon rose, the temperature dropped off degree by degree. First the air lost the balm of a tropical breeze and then it hovered on cool, before plunging into the chilly depths.

Robin saw Nami standing on the deck. She was taking measurements with her log pose and various star charts she had managed to barter out sheer blind cunning. She was still wearing a crop top and a mini skirt. When she was engrossed in her work, simple things like hunger and cold just weren’t an issue to her.

The archaeologist sighed and passed the red-head’s warmest coat up from their cabin. She walked over to the underdressed girl and held the coat up. Nami looked down from the cosmos and stared at it like it was a trifling inconvenience. When she saw who it was, her gaze softened.

“Thankyou Robin,” she put her arm into one sleeve and turned to let Robin guide her into the other sleeve. Robin was just straightening the shoulders when the shorter girl turned around.

She had only meant to keep the girl warm.

It was freezing out on the deck!

But she was suddenly confronted by soft brown eyes and lips so, so close to her own.

They stood there and hovered, just far enough to keep the illusion. Robin’s hands rested on the navigator’s shoulders, they locked eyes and each willed themselves to break away first.

It was an accidental kiss.

Unintended. Inconsequential.

_Unforgettable._

\--------------------------


	20. Jam Tomorrow

Zoro sat in the crow’s nest. It was the best place to think. The crew had gone ashore and were all holed up in another hotel. He couldn’t believe that the sea witch had forked out for accommodation two islands in a row. Normally she’d try to make them stay on the ship. She had been up to something though and the swordsman had a bad feeling about it. She had been watching his behaviour and had even spoken to him about it. She had said he was ‘touchy’ about the cook. She didn’t normally pull any punches but even the fact that she mentioned it… Was it a warning? What if she knew?

_Sanji would go ballistic._

The swordsman tapped the hilt of Wadou against his chin. It was always comforting to have the sword near him, it helped him to think.

No choice then really, he was going to have to make that idiot come around. No more fucking about. The cook was already changing the way he behaved in subtle ways. He had told Zoro he trusted him. He knew that already but to hear him _say it?_

He never thought he’d hear him say it.

Maybe it showed he was starting to change the way Sanji felt… There was also the fact that the blonde was standing on the deck below him, chain-smoking and swearing. Every now and then Zoro could hear his name swirl up, riding the rising torrent of the cook’s abuse.

He grinned and then frowned. He loved that he was playing on Sanji’s mind but if all he did was piss the guy off… How could they be together? How could they talk?

He supposed that they would need to talk without killing each other eventually if this was ever going to work. _Fuck._

Was what attracted him so much to Sanji actually just a side-effect of how much he pissed the cook off? The passion, the violence and the never-say-die-spit-in-your-face-hellfire that made him a blazing inferno of sex…

It could be attributed to anger.

The blonde’s temper was as hot as his red curry and twice as much of a pain in the ass…

_No. That’s not all. I make the guy laugh. I make him come._

Luffy had said he loved the cook and he was right. He just didn’t know it at the time. He had told the Captain it was Sanji’s rules.

_Not anymore._

\-------------------

Sanji looked out into the shifting sea. He didn’t even know why. It wasn’t like he didn’t spend every single day staring at it. He exhaled a billowing cloud of smoke and steam then put his cigarette back to his lips. At least the smoke kept him warm on the inside. The wind was biting cold and the first few flakes of snow stung his cheeks.

As ragged clouds sped across the sky, he pulled his furry coat tighter around his lean frame. It was just his luck to end up having to guard the ship in the middle of a damn snow storm. And where was Zoro!? It wasn’t as if Sanji expected him to come back for _him_ but he had expected him to come back for sex at least.

_Damn Marimo._

What had the green haired idiot done? When had he gone from being the object of Sanji’s amusement to… this? Whatever the hell _this_ was.

Even Luffy had been asking what was going on. As if he knew! The fact that Luffy was asking at all was concerning him. It was sweet but if he kept dumping them on supposedly-desert islands and trying to get Zoro to give a shit then things were just going to get ugly.

And what about the girls? Would the shock of discovering that he had been intimate with the Marimo be too much for their fragile minds? They were both already traumatised by the horrors of their childhoods; the last thing he wanted to do was to upset them further. To realise that their sweet Prince had been tarnishing hands made only to caress them… He could just imagine their sweet round eyes wide with horror and fast filling with tears.

It would be unbearable!

Luffy had seemed ok with it though. After all, it looked like he was trying to set them up in his own weird way.

The kid knew just how to handle Zoro. One look from the Captain and he melted, laughed and forgave everything. But they could never be that way. There was room for competition, passion and lust between them but not much else. Where Luffy knew just what the swordsman wanted, Sanji was a stranger.

_Even if he did… or he could…_

Zoro was not for keeping. He wasn’t the sort of man that you could settle down with and build a log cabin in the fucking hills. He was a man who didn’t need - or want - anyone. Not like that, anyway.

_Not like him._

And he used to be so damn keen on being a bachelor…

The cook sighed and was enveloped in a smoky haze. He ground out his cigarette angrily on the sole of his shoe and watched the snow vanish into the sea. He regretted it immediately. It had taken him ages to get that smoke lit in the wind and he had been chain smoking so that he wouldn’t have to go inside, lighting each new smoke off the dying embers of the last. He wanted to use the cold night to clear his head and focus his thoughts. Instead he was standing on the icy deck in the middle of the night, waiting for a man - a MAN - who might never come.

He pulled a crumpled smoke from his packet and jammed his hand back into his coat as soon as possible. He swapped hands each cigarette to avoid frostbite but he still had to light the damn thing somehow. He begrudgingly pulled his lighter from his pocket and began to strike it with slightly blue fingers.

“Shitty Marimo making me feel like shit,” he muttered.

He grabbed the edge of his coat and held it up against the wind to try to block the rising gale enough to kindle a flame. He cursed as the lighter spluttered and went out yet again. A strong hand was placed on his shoulder; he could feel the swordsman’s presence directly behind him.

_Fucker took his time._

The cook dropped his knees and swept out a leg behind him. Zoro flipped back and then landed on his feet a few metres back. Sanji could see his teeth gleaming in the moonlight, the rest of him hidden by a shadowy silhouette.

Sanji pulled the smoke from his lips with a flourish and put his hands on his hips.

_Anytime you’re ready, shit-head._

The figure bent down and the cook heard the swords being placed gently on the deck. No swords?! Maybe it wasn’t Zoro after all. There was an easy way to find out though; he knew Zoro’s fighting style like the recipe for Tangerine jam. _Off by heart_. Plus, the asshole had really annoyed him, taking so damn long.

Even _he_ couldn’t have gotten lost. The hotel was practically visible from the docks! And even if he had managed it, in the way that only Zoro could, he should have learned how useless he was by now and left a trail of bread crumbs or some shit.

He stood and waited for the swordless swordsman to make his move. He tapped the end of his polished shoe on the deck and relaxed all his muscles for ultimate reach. Bastard wasn’t going to move.

_Fine then!_

The cook flipped onto his hands and threw his whole weight into the momentum of his rotation. He aimed a heavy hit at Zoro’s stomach; the swordsman sidestepped and deflected the blow with crossed forearms. Oh, it was _definitely_ him.

“Don’t fucking sneak up on me like that, shithead!” Sanji said, trying to keep any other emotions out of his voice.

“You make it so easy though, you’re too damn loud.” The deep voice was level and calm. It just pissed Sanji off more.

“What are you doing here, anyway? No-one to annoy in the bar?” The cook glared into the dark.

“I like annoying you.”

He hadn’t changed at all. He was just like always, trying to find new ways to give Sanji the shits. Well, he succeeded. And now he’d have to take the consequences of deliberately pissing off someone with a very short temper. The blonde snap-kicked high, nearly taking off Zoro’s head and then, when the idiot moved predictably away, he took his opening.

“Cotelette!” The cook dropped into a handstand and shot an upwards kick into the swordsman’s ribs.

“Selle!” He twisted his wrists fast and reversed the turn, landing a hard hit on Zoro’s lower back. The swordsman slammed into the deck in a pile of limbs. He rolled once, pushed off with his hands and somehow managed to get back up. Lucky he could take a beating, because there was sure as hell one coming.

“I’ll send you to the 59th level of hell, asshole!” the cook screamed.

Sanji kept turning and struck out with a double kick to Zoro’s mid-section. The swordsman sidestepped and swept around the cook’s long legs. Once they were safely past, he jumped on the cook to force him to twist his legs over to defend himself. He wouldn’t use those precious hands after all… The deadly heels swept up and over the swordsman’s head. He re-directed the force of the kick past his shoulder and slammed his hips into the movement. Sanji spun around and before he could twist his shoulders into another strike, Zoro had knocked him over. In a quick twist, Zoro’s legs entwined with the cook’s. Sanji turned his knees out and struggled but it was too late. His hip felt like it was going to pop out of joint.

The bastard has used his own leg-lock against him.

He really was paying attention… He’d kept moving, he’d used his legs more and he took advantage of both the dark and the cook’s refusal to risk his hands. Normally Sanji would never let himself be caught by this kind of move, it was _his_ style but Zoro _never_ used his legs that way. He deliberately faked so the cook would think he was going for his throat. _He never faked._

And he knew Sanji would never expect it.

“Waiting for someone?” the swordsman growled into his ear. Sanji could hear his earrings jangling and feel his warm breath on his icy cheek.

“It’s called being on watch. You should try it sometime, asshole,” the cook spat back.

Zoro stood up and let the blonde get to his feet. He took out his extremely crumpled cigarette and turned his back on the smug bastard to try to get enough shelter to light it.

“Would you like a hand?” Zoro purred into his ear. Suddenly two gleaming blades crossed in front of Sanji’s face.

“Um… what the hell are you doing?” Sanji asked, not wanting to move too much with two katanas inches away from his nose.

“Just stand still and breathe in…”

Sanji clasped his cigarette to his lips and tried to hold it *still*. A light formed where the two swords crossed; the blades were rubbed along each other and a growing spark chased the point where they met. The swordsman moved fluidly, keeping the blaze hovering at the tip of the cook’s cigarette. He inhaled deeply and the spark grew to an ember and a puff of smoke disappeared into the cold air.

The katanas disappeared from view and Sanji sighed in relief.

Zoro stepped out beside him and grinned widely.

“Impressed?”

“You could have set my fringe on fire.”

_Mildly impressed._ No more. Had Zoro learned that trick just for him?

“Che,” the swordsman shrugged and leaned on the railing. He was only wearing his standard gear; haramaki, white singlet and pants. No matter how much he raved on about that ridiculous green piece of cloth, it was sure as hell not enough to keep warm in this weather.

“Why are you so damn happy anyway?” Sanji tried to sound pissed and he hoped it worked. It came pretty naturally, anyway.

“You said wait till now and I waited. What? You changed your mind?” Big, dark eyes bored into his.

_What sort of a question was that?!_

The cook blushed and puffed furiously on his smoke. _Shitty impertinent bastard._

The eyes nodded their approval, “Good.”

Zoro continued to gaze at him with unwavering intensity. The blonde coughed and looked away. He glanced down at the swordsman’s bare arms. They were unusually pale and had goose bumps the size of actual geese.

“Aren’t you cold?!” Sanji asked.

Zoro looked down at his white-grey arms and snorted in derision. The idiot was doing it on purpose.

“Get inside before you freeze to death!” The cook turned and started shoving the half frozen - and still grinning - swordsman across the deck.

“I thought you were on watch,” Zoro said, dodging as a polished black shoe nearly wrapped around his face.

“ _Fuck you_.”

Zoro sidestepped and was suddenly behind the cook, “I was going to pin you to the deck, make you come so hard you scream and _then_ fuck you, actually.”

Sanji’s heart rate went up and he blinked a couple of times. Zoro could not have just said that. A low growl confirmed it,

“I want to hear you scream…”

Sanji tried to come up with something witty. His mouth moved but all the blood went straight down.

“Get inside,” he stammered.

Zoro chuckled in his ear, scooped up his swords and then strode past him.

Sanji followed the gorgeous ass into the galley. It was only when Zoro turned around that he realised the wood stove had been lit and the room was warm and cosy.

“How the hell…?”

“I came and lit it earlier. If you’d gone inside you would have seen it.” Zoro smirked.

Sanji fumed silently.

Shit head had left him out the cold thinking that he’d been stood up! The swordsman stepped in front of him and began to undo the buttons on his thick winter coat. Sanji blew a large cloud of smoke into his face. The swordsman ignored him, his fingers still working at the zip. He pushed the coat off the cook’s shoulders, Sanji heard it hit the floor and then deft fingers were caressing him. Even through his shirt his skin quivered under Zoro’s cold fingers, nails raked his belly and then circled around his nipples.

The cook was torn. He was pissed off at Zoro and didn’t want the shitty-swordsman anywhere near him. But he wanted his hands, his tongue, his cock…

But he had his principles after all. He glared out from under his fringe and flicked his cigarette into the sink. He could keep his dignity and still get what he wanted. Zoro’s fighting might have improved but he was still completely predictable when it came to sex.

“The only screaming I’m going to do is at you to get the fuck out of my kitchen.” He raised up one knee between him and Zoro, it was meant to be a threat only but Zoro - of course - saw it as an invitation. The swordsman grabbed his knee and swung him around, pushing him backwards and down onto the wooden bench. He landed with a crunch and Zoro smothered him, pushing him into the hard wood.

The swordsman’s body was heavy and warm and it fit perfectly into the cook’s every contour, his hardness pressing into Sanji’s own. It was as if they were made just for this, just to be each other’s fuel, each other’s fire.

“Get off me; you’ll squash my shitty smokes,” Sanji growled, stifling a smile and revelling in the feeling of the rippled muscles rubbing against his stomach. Zoro was propped on his elbows but every part of him from his perfect abs down was pressed deliciously flush against the cook’s hyper-sensitive skin. He could feel Zoro’s heat suffusing his body and pooling deep between his legs.

“You like it when I’m in control,” Zoro growled, as he ground his weight down.

“Why would I like some sweaty meat-head huffing all over me?” The cook wriggled one leg out from under the mass of muscle and hooked it over Zoro’s hips. He got good purchase on the bench and then threw the swordsman off him onto the floor. He grabbed a fistful of shirt, rolled with Zoro and landed on him on the floor.

“You’re the one who likes being controlled too much - or don’t you remember screaming ‘harder’ in my ear?” He leaned over and bit Zoro’s throat, eliciting a guttural growl from the stoic moss-head. He could feel calloused fingers exploring under his shirt; his body tingled under the swordsman’s light touch. His skin burned with the contact, leaving a hungry desperate trail behind the swordsman’s caress. It was like every part of him ached for Zoro; for more touch, more heat, more sensation. He wanted Zoro in him, all around him… his weight, his fingers, his heat, his smell…

Zoro bucked his hips, groaning at the friction and grabbed Sanji’s wrists when he rolled his hips forward.

“And you were the one who couldn’t wait to go seme on my ass,” he whispered into the cook’s ear.

He instantly regretted his choice of words.

Sanji laughed so hard at the accompanying expression that he lost all of his concentration; Zoro took the opportunity to flip the smug bastard onto his back and pin him down again. This time he wasn’t going to let Sanji tie him up with those heavenly-long legs, either.

“You thought it would be so much fun to play games with me, didn’t you cook? Learned your lesson?” He brushed his lips across Sanji’s collar bones and began to loosen his tie and undo the top buttons of his shirt.

“Fuck you,” Sanji’s voice was breathy and heavy as Zoro opened his shirt and began to kiss his chest, “have you learned any manners?”

A hot tongue brushed across his nipple and dexterous fingers undid and untucked his shirt. The cook pushed Zoro’s shoulders back and glared at him, his lips red and pupils wide with lust. The swordsman smirked and grabbed the blonde’s wrists before he could struggle and held them down behind Sanji’s head.

“No,” Zoro said. He left one hand pinning the cook’s wrists and the other trailed down until he was stroking Sanji’s tight-so-fucking-tight trousers. He murmured happily,

“See, you love it.”

Damned if he’d ever admit it to Zoro.

“Still not screaming, baka.”

“ _Just you wait_.”

\-----------------------------


	21. ...and Eat it Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, we have finally reached the end of this epic tale of two men united by a stubborn streak as wide as the Grand Line itself! So how does it end? Will Zoro ever get what he wants, or is he destined to long for something that he can never have?
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone for reading! And don’t despair that it's all over - I have a great love of epilogues ;)
> 
> \---xxx---

While snowflakes swirled and sunk into the waves, the moon was hidden from view. Inside the galley it was dark and warm, the open wood stove flickering just enough to cast shadows on the entwined lovers. Zoro tightened his grip on Sanji’s wrists. He pushed them back above the blonde’s head and kissed him, hard. He bit the cook’s soft lips and then pushed his head to one side to bite slowly down his long neck. While he was on top, while he had his whole upper body strength focussed on a single point, there was nothing the blonde could do to stop him.

And he was really going to want to stop him.

Zoro knew what Sanji wanted. It was what he had been getting for weeks now. This whole thing had been in the cook’s control. His rules. His way. Everything that Sanji wanted.

_No more._

The blonde wanted to fuck and be fucked. He wanted heat, friction and aching, exploding, desperate, gasping lust. He wanted to be pinned rough and ready. He wanted to struggle and fight and spit until the last sweet moment - when he could scream Zoro’s name and just give in …and then call it nothing afterwards. He wanted to fuck and be fucked.

_No more._

Zoro was going to do something terrible to him.

It was his turn to have his way and he was going to do something that Sanji might never forgive him for.

He was going to _make love to him._

\------------------

Sanji’s wrists were pressed to the hard wooden floor. His legs were spread wide, knees firmly apart as the swordsman pressed heavily into him and drew one hand agonisingly slow up the inside of the cook’s thigh.

He could feel the aching need build where Zoro’s weight pressed between his legs. His hips were tilted back and he was already wishing that the swordsman would take his pants off and pay some attention to his throbbing cock. It was being crushed deliciously into his stomach by the swordsman grinding their bodies slowly together. He could still hear the words ringing in his ears,

_…pin you to the deck, make you come so hard you scream and then fuck you…_

…Zoro’s breath hot on his neck and his body so close behind that he could practically fuck him. He always loved dirty talk. He might not be rough but he’d certainly admit to kinky. To hear the gravel in Zoro’s voice when he said those dirty sexy words… He wanted to be slammed up against a wall right then and fucked into the next room. And now here he was, on the hard floor, with Zoro’s huge, achingly hard cock pressing into him, rubbing his pants and making him literally squirm with anticipation. Only the thin fabric of their trousers separated him from his one true need.

What was Zoro going to do to him? How was he going to make the blonde scream? So many of his fantasies had already come true.

He’d fucked him in so many positions, hard and desperately hot… He’d been licked, teased, caressed and fucked by pretty much every part of the swordsman’s anatomy that was capable of the task. What the hell was there left to do?

His mind filled with the delicious possibilities. He felt his cock twitch and he wished that whatever the idiot had planned, he would do it now. The cook wriggled and arched his back, grinding back against the solid hardness which tantalised him so much.

“Take your clothes off moss-head,” he said, his voice catching as Zoro’s hands brushed his nipples and slowly trailed down his stomach.

The pressure on his wrists was increased and the cook waited, breathless with need. He could feel Zoro’s breath warm against his skin as he lowered his head and ravaged Sanji’s neck with hot kisses. Suddenly the perfect heat of his lips was gone and Zoro’s hips weren’t pressing him into the deck.

His eyes fluttered and he opened his mouth to throw some abuse at the swordsman to get him to concentrate. Marimo’s face was inches from his own.

“No,” he said. Simple and to the point.

“What the hell do you mean, no?!?”

“I mean no. I’m not going to take my clothes off.”

“Well, it’s going to be hard to do this with them on, shit-head,” the cook rolled his eyes.

The swordsman yanked him into a sitting position and dark eyes bored into him. Rough hands removed the shirt from his shoulders and the tie from around his neck. The tie was then fastened around Sanji’s wrists.

The swordsman glared at him as he cinched his wrist together, tight. _That was more like it…_ He had hoped from the first time that he had tied the swordsman up that he would take revenge. Hot-and-hard-tied-up-on-the-kitchen-floor sex sounded so fucking good…

“It’s not for your kinky shit, ero-cook,” Zoro’s voice was low and clear. Reading the cook’s mind like it was nothing out of the ordinary. Something about it made Sanji’s skin tingle, “it’s just so you can’t stop me.”

The swordsman kissed the astonished mouth as he tied the blonde’s wrists securely to the leg of the table. Now he could finally sit up and appreciate what he had caught.

The firelight flickered across the blonde’s hard, toned body and his perfect hip bones cast irregular shadows. His nipples were hard due to the cold outside, his pale skin still peppered here and there with tiny goose bumps where the heat hadn’t thawed him. The swordsman trailed his hands up those long, long legs and stroked the blonde feather-light on his way up to circle his chest. He followed his touches with light kisses, hot and breathy on Sanji’s hard nipples and then moving slowly down. He hovered, letting his kisses linger on the planes of muscle below the cook’s belly button. He could smell the hot musk of the cook’s erection. He flicked his hands over the blonde’s pants and earned a soft hiss from his lover’s red lips.

With one hand, he pushed the blonde’s legs firmly apart. With the other, he slowly undid his fly and the button on his black suit pants. He sat back and let his fingers trail idly along the soft fabric, then leaned forward and bit the inside of the cook’s thighs softly. He let his lips hover above the cook’s straining pants and brushed them gently along Sanji’s length. The hips rolled forwards slightly as a moan escaped from the back of Sanji’s throat. Zoro removed the cook’s shoes and then slowly pulled his trousers off. He rubbed the tip of the cook’s weeping cock with the delicious soft cloth and then slid the pants down over his thighs revealing mile after mile of those gorgeous, deadly legs. The swordsman leaned close and brushed the last stray hairs from the cook’s perpetually hidden eye. He let his hands circle up the blonde’s leg as he kissed the last traces of smoke from Sanji’s lips. He took the cook in his hand and stroked slowly up his shaft, before rubbing the tip of his cock and squeezing him tight.

“Fuck me now…” Sanji breathed as Zoro swirled his thumb across the cook’s perineum.

“ _No_.”

Zoro kissed down the cook’s stomach and ran his fingers through his soft blonde pubic hair. He followed with his lips and then trailed his tongue slowly up the underside of Sanji’s twitching cock. He kissed the tip and then twirled his tongue around it, enjoying the taste and the sweet low moans. Slowly he lowered his lips and let the heat of Sanji’s erection fill his mouth. His fingers raked up the cook’s thighs as he flicked his tongue over Sanji’s glans. His touch lingered on the tight sensitive skin on the cook’s balls, stroking in time to his teasingly slow blow-job. He lifted the cook’s ass with his other hand and took the full length deep into his mouth. Sanji squirmed and he held him fast, caressing him with his tongue and pressing his hips, hungry for more. He could feel the cook was close, so he slid the throbbing cock from his mouth. He flicked it with his tongue as he crawled back up the cook’s body, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses behind him.

“Fuck me…” Sanji breathed.

“No. Don’t make me gag you.”

The look on the pervert’s face made it clear that he wouldn’t mind that in the slightest. A gag meant no screaming though…

Zoro found the lube in his pocket and poured a liberal amount on his hand. He placed the bottle within reach and spread the thick oil across both his hands, letting it drip on the cook’s stomach. He closed his lips on Sanji’s hard cock again and delicately rolled his tongue around, sucking gently. He slid hand up Sanji’s thigh and then rubbed between his legs, letting the tips of his fingers just brush across the dark pucker below his tight balls. He flicked his tongue slowly and when the cook rocked his hips forward and moaned out his name, Zoro slipped just one finger inside him. He slid up to his knuckle and let his lips slide down the cook’s full length. He pulled the finger out and pushed it ever so slowly back; the cook whimpered and ground his hips at the sky. Zoro made his movements even slower, to make sure that Sanji’s didn’t come just yet… Then he put another finger with the first and plunged it agonisingly slow into tight, warm paradise.

“Oh, fuck…” the cook was breathing heavy as Zoro lifted his head and licked the last drops of moisture from his lips. He pulled the blonde’s hips up to get a better angle and slid a third finger inside him. Sanji was hot and tight, his fingers probed deep until he found what he was looking for. He brushed that hard spot and trailed his tongue down the blonde’s cock.

“Zoro… fuck…” Sanji’s breath came in shallow huffs.

“Shitty-swordsman… _fuck_ … oh fucking…” Sanji gasped and cursed and ground his hips against Zoro’s sure fingers. The swordsman kept massaging him slow and steady, just in the right place as the cook’s swearing got louder and more desperate. He closed his hot mouth over the blonde’s cock and sucked him, the taste driving him crazy with lust. He was desperate with the sounds of Sanji gasping hard and crying out… calling his name… he pumped the blonde’s cock properly… finally giving him the burning friction which he’d been begging for with his squirming body ever since he was tied down.

Sanji went quiet for just a second and Zoro thought he might just have broken him.

Then just as suddenly, the blonde drew in a huge, deep breath and screamed his lungs out.

“FUCK!!!

Zoro plunged his fingers hard and felt Sanji constrict against his movement. His body convulsed and hot come filled the swordsman’s mouth. He swallowed Sanji deep, as the cook gasped and jerked hard against his bonds. Zoro sucked and stroked him as he rode his orgasm and cried out into the winter night. Then the swordsman let his tongue collect the last drops and released Sanji from his lips.

“ _Now_ I’m going to fuck you.”

He kissed slowly up Sanji’s stomach and then attacked the blonde’s lips again. He put his hands up to untie him and then realised he should probably ask out of courtesy;

“Do you want me to leave you tied up, ero-cook?”

He ground his hips into the cook’s and Sanji moaned. He seemed to be slightly dazed. Zoro undid the tie and then sat back. He slowly peeled off his shirt and haramaki and then took off his boots. He leaned back in and kissed Sanji’s slowly waking privates. The cook came to his senses and reached up to undo Zoro’s pants and hitch them off his hips. The swordsman took them off and his boxers and then leaned back over the blonde. Sanji lay back and looked up at him, legs spread and hair messy from wriggling all over the galley floor. He lay gently on top of the blonde and kissed him deeply. Then he rolled over, pulling the cook on top of him, never breaking the kiss.

Finally Sanji pulled away. He had a strange expression on his face but it soon passed and then the blonde was kissing his stomach, raking his thighs… oh, fuck… sucking his cock…

He felt the sweet pink tongue circle around him expertly. He stroked and flicked and nibbled, alternating soft strokes with movements so forceful they would hurt anyone who wasn’t inclined the same way as the swordsman. Zoro arched his back and moaned wantonly, he finally didn’t give a shit about trying to conceal it. He liked the types of pain that Sanji inflicted on him; it was like searing heat that amplified every lick, every stroke… every hard, wet second of bliss.

He ran his fingers through the blonde’s hair and pulled his chin up slowly. Their lips and eyes met and for the first time Zoro truly kissed his lover as he looked deep into his blue, blue eyes.

“Can I fuck you?” the swordsman asked, his voice rumbling in Sanji’s ear.

“I’ve only been begging you for about an hour you bastard!”

Zoro smiled as Sanji spread his coat out in front of the fire and sprawled out on top of it. The swordsman crawled across to him and kissed him deeply, rubbing his cock in the slick oil on the cook’s stomach. The feeling of his erection bumping across the blonde’s abs was enough to send tingles up his spine. He kissed softly down Sanji’s neck and rubbed the cook slowly with one hand. He positioned himself carefully and rubbed his cock against that dark kiss, Sanji’s hips raised to meet him and the blonde’s hand closed over the swordsman’s.

Zoro looked the cook in the eyes as he slowly pushed into him.

He lifted the cook’s knee just enough to hit that perfect spot but he made sure he could reach those soft lips. He wanted to kiss him, to taste him, _to love him_ … Slowly he thrust deeper and the cook moaned. He was hard as a rock now and his legs were braced tight against the swordsman’s. Zoro pulled out slow and even and then pushed deep, he felt his tip rubbing hard. He closed his eyes.

“ _Sanji_ …” he breathed, as he covered the cook’s groaning mouth with kisses.

He lifted his hips and pulled the cook with him, plunging into his heavenly depths. His tongue caressing his mouth, his cock buried in the wet, sweet, heat. He moved slowly, his kiss becoming more forceful as he pulled back further and then sunk to the hilt. Sanji pulled him close and they ground together; Sanji’s cock hard between them and Zoro’s even harder inside him.

The cook could feel it hitting slowly and surely. The solid heat of it inside him so deep made his cock burn and once again, as if to read his mind - Zoro’s hand was there. He stroked and caressed as he bent Sanji’s knee back and pushed into him even deeper. He could hear swearing and he was pretty sure it was his own voice. Zoro’s mouth closed over his and his kiss was forceful and passionate.

He pulled the swordsman into him and Zoro pulled them hard together.

“Fuck! Do that again!” Sanji gasped.

The swordsman nibbled the cook’s lips gently and used every bit of his self-control to pull slowly back - he could feel Sanji’s tightness closing around his tip as he groaned and leaned back.

He thrust into the cook, hard and deep. Sanji cried out under him and he ground the cook’s weeping cock between them. The blonde screamed his name and dug his nails hard into the swordsman’s ass. He gasped at the pain and bit his lip, he felt so fucking perfect… so incredible… He could feel every part of Sanji tight against his body, his heat and his smell and his hot kisses. His every muscle was braced against this rough embrace; giving in but also fighting every hard thrust.

He could feel Sanji’s cock start to twitch and he pulled nearly all the way out to lean back, so he could go as deep as either of them could handle. He looked down at the messy blonde hair and glazed eyes and started to feel the delicious ache build as he drove back into bliss. His vision blurred as the sensation overwhelmed him, gasping at how deep and perfectly tight the blonde was. The delicious friction was too much… He could feel Sanji’s cock start to throb as he lost control and he slammed into the blonde hard; pulling back and then grinding mercilessly as he felt Sanji tight all around him as one but probably both of them, screamed.

Zoro drew his fingers through the come on his lover’s stomach and then sucked his fingers as he drove back, deeper, harder, more desperate… The taste and smell was all around him as the cook’s orgasm seemed to last forever. Time stood still as the perfect heat closed around him and finally Sanji pulled Zoro’s down into an embrace. He let the long arms drag him down and collapsed, shaking with the force of his own climax, whispering the cook’s name over and over as he let himself dissolve into perfect pale flesh.

\----------------

Sanji stood on the deck and felt the icy breeze across his skin. The coat was drawn tight around him as he puffed a well-deserved cigarette but somehow icy fingers still managed to creep up his sides. Zoro stood beside him, still painfully under-dressed, and looked out into the swirling snow. His face was blank and Sanji wished that he could read Zoro’s mind just as easily as Zoro seemed to read his. But what the hell would a meat-head like Zoro be able to say to make the cook feel less…

_Afraid._

Zoro might have a limited capacity for emotions but his conversations were still made up largely of grunts. How the fuck could you get close to that? He acted like it was all just the same as it always had been.

No, that wasn’t true. He’d been grumpy and on edge and pissed off for weeks. He acted like it was _worse_ than before. Sanji had never seen him so damn moody and for Marimo, that was a scary thing…

“Zoro,” he asked softly, wanting to know but not wanting to hear the answer, “do you wish this hadn’t happened?”

“I never regret anything,” he replied. The blonde looked at him with unwavering blue eyes, seeming to ask for more even though Zoro knew he didn’t want it, “Especially sex,” the swordsman finished. He grinned to cover his embarrassment. Damn shitty-cook probably didn’t even realise what an idiot he was being.

_Maybe his feelings had started to change…_

Was it too much to hope that something he could do could turn the cook’s fear and confusion all on its head?

He was Roronoa Zoro. He said he’d do it, so it had to be possible.

The logic was close enough.

“Why, do you?” the swordsman asked. He kept his eyes front and his face level, eyes searching the sea for that elusive something…

Sanji looked shocked. “Well, I… no. No, I don’t...”

The swordsman’s posture stiffened and he leaned a little out over the railing and squinted, his face a picture of concentration. His left hand went to his haramaki and closed down on his swords. His right went to the rail and, in an instant, the swordsman had vaulted over it and disappeared into the dark icy waters below.

What.

The.

_Fuck!?_

Sanji watched the snow sink into the waves where Zoro had disappeared. It had finally happened. The dumb fuck had actually decided that it was better to risk his life by leaping overboard than stay and have a deep and meaningful conversation.

He had always expected it to happen but he had never expected it to _happen_. He stared out into the waves in horror and disbelief.

_The ASSHOLE!!! Fucking come here in the middle of the night, leave me in the cold, fuck me and then jump fucking overboard when I ask you a fucking QUESTION?!?_ He was so embarrassed and so angry that he could feel the hair standing up on the back of his neck. He was dead.

The fucker was _dead._

The water swirled against the hull, deep, black and cold. Sanji was just about to ditch his coat and dive in after him to make sure the bastard _drowned_ when a deep voice rumbled behind him,

“Looking for someone?”

He could hear the waves of smug positively rolling off the swordsman. When he turned, the bastard was leaning against the galley door with his hands held behind his back. He was smirking that awful self-satisfied smile. And he was blue. From head to toe.

“You trying to kill yourself?! ‘cause you’re about three seconds away from death!”

Zoro just lounged and smirked some more.

“What the fuck were you thinking!?!”

The swordsman shrugged and pulled his arms from behind his bulky form, revealing the perfect yellow and blue alternating spots of the cold water variety of the Yellow Spotted Dragon Fish. It couldn’t be… The cook stepped closer, one hand hovering above the scales as he noted all of the marks of the species that the book he treasured had told him he would see if he ever, ever found a fish as rare as this.

_How the fu…?_

He took the Dragon Fish from the swordsman’s hands in a daze, walked past him and put it in the ice locker. He stood over it just staring at it, lying there… perfect colour, perfect size… He had never dreamed that he would see a fish this beautiful before he had made it to All Blue.

_And it was so beautiful…_

A loud clicking noise disturbed his reverie and he turned to see what was interrupting his perfect moment getting to know his new love.

Zoro was sitting in front of the fire. Still blue and still in his wet clothes. Little wafts of steam rose off him. The offending sound was produced by his teeth clicking together as his body was wracked with shaking from the intense cold.

_Idiot._

“S…s… s… so it’s the r…r…right one th… th… then?” the swordsman clattered out.

Sanji had a sudden urge to hug him until his eyes popped out and rolled around on the galley floor.

Only Zoro would kill something as a romantic gesture.

Only Zoro would risk his life for _a fish,_ because he knew just how much it meant to Sanji.

_When had he started to notice? When had he started to care?_

“It had better be…” the grumpy swordsman huffed.

Sanji strolled over to the booze cabinet and fiddled with the clasp, trying to give his face time to relax from its current insane grin to a slightly more natural smile. He finally grabbed a bottle and shoved it at Zoro.

“It’s the right one.” _How the hell did he know?_

In all the years the cook had lived, no-one had ever given him such a perfect, tender, gift. He shoved the bottle at Zoro,

“Here, drink this.”

Zoro smiled up at him, “Thought you said that my ration was done.” Emerald green eyes sparkled in the dancing firelight.

“I was just fucking with you,” Sanji said. Zoro snorted and the cook continued, “I got extra, remember? This one is special just for you,” he mumbled the last bit and then huffed, “drink it or you’ll freeze to death, you moron.”

Zoro popped the top off the offered bottle and took an experimental swig. He swirled the sake around his mouth and swallowed it, grinning and checking the label. The cook knew it wouldn’t mean anything to the idiot. He had no class, so there was no way he’d ever seen this stuff before.

“’S good.” Zoro mumbled, before tipping the bottle back. Sanji watched in horror as a month’s worth of savings disappeared down the swordsman’s clenching throat in less than three seconds flat.

“Mmmm,” he sighed contentedly and sat the empty bottle next to him; the colour began to return to his cheeks.

Sanji rolled his eyes and then smiled. It didn’t matter really. Zoro liked it and that was enough.

“You should have some more,” he said, reaching out to get one of the bottles of regular sake from the cupboard.

“Why, so you can shave my damn head?” Zoro laughed.

“It’s to raise your body temperature, baka. You’re blue!”

“I thought you’d like it. I match your stupid flowery shirt.” The swordsman’s eyes danced with mischief and Sanji felt something well up in his chest and threaten to choke him right then and there.

He wanted this moment to last forever.

He couldn’t bear going back to the way things were, always fighting and never being able to say… thank you. Or…

_Fuck…_

And in that moment, like a bright light in the emptiness of his life, _he knew._

Sanji took his heart, rubbed it on his sleeve and then put it and the rest of his fragile, meaningless life, on the line.

“Zoro, can we just be serious for a minute?”

“What do you mean, _serious?_ ” The swordsman made the last word sound like an infectious disease.

“We always kid around and shit but…” Sanji didn’t know what to say.

How was this going to work if they couldn’t say two decent words to each other? He liked their rough friendship but he wanted something more… and he didn’t know if Zoro understood. The cook fell hard when he fell… and he didn’t want to break his heart when he hit the ground.

_Did someone like Zoro ever just want to be held?_

“What?” The swordsman’s voice was softer now, more encouraging.

“…I… is this for real?” Sanji asked.

_Well, that sounded stupid._

_Shit._

“You want chocolates or something?”

The swordsman’s voice was dead pan but his calloused, cold hand caressed Sanji’s cheek and brushed the hair from his eyes. The gesture was so familiar and so comforting.

Sanji wanted to hit him but he was frozen in place; somehow caught in Zoro’s eyes.

“I’m not joking, asshole.”

The cook did his best to glare. The swordsman’s face was so close to his own, those dark smouldering eyes piercing his soul.

“Neither am I. What do you want?”

There was something that the cook couldn’t place in Zoro’s eyes. He was so hard to read… he could see concern, confusion… and something else. Something he hadn’t seen before.

Maybe Zoro was contemplating jumping overboard again to escape…

Sanji shook himself from his daze.

“I just want to be …close to you. I feel like I don’t even fucking know you.”

“Close like this?” Zoro draped his arms around the blonde’s slender waist and pulled him even closer. He held the cook tight and wrapped him up in his warming body. Their faces were only inches apart.

“Yes…” Sanji whispered. It just felt so right in that strong embrace. But he still didn’t know how Zoro felt. Was this all just so much foreplay to him? Sanji couldn’t let himself slip any deeper into those dark eyes without knowing for sure. If only the caveman was capable of talking about his damn emotions!

If he even had any…

The cook braced himself and took a deep breath.

“…but what do you want?”

“You,” Zoro didn’t even pause.

It was sweet but it didn’t tell him shit.

He could never get a straight answer! Sanji felt the desperation closing in, he felt like he was missing his one chance to get answers while the swordsman was drunk and in a good mood. Any second now, Zoro would start arguing again and then he’d be back to worrying, never knowing what the hell was happening.

_It was fucked. The whole damn situation was fucked._

_What the hell was I thinking?_

“What’s wrong?” Zoro’s hand gently lifted his chin so he could look the cook in the eyes.

“I just… never know how you feel!”

Zoro looked confused. “How I feel?”

Sanji just nodded. He was on the brink of hitting someone and he didn’t know who to hit: Zoro for being so dense or himself for expecting anything else.

“Well, I feel great!”

Sanji just stared at him.

_Maybe if I can hold off killing him for just another minute then he’ll elaborate…_

Zoro peered into the blonde’s eyes with genuine bewilderment.

“I’ve got a whole night alone with the man I love and a hold full of sake. What did you expect, baka?”

Sanji stopped breathing.

“What?” Zoro continued to stare at him with those beautiful concerned green eyes. “Oi love-cook, say something or I’ll think you’re dead.”

Sanji’s senses finally returned. It was a lot to take in and his brain went temporarily back to defensive mode just to try to cope with the shock.

“Since when have you been in LOVE with me!?” the cook demanded.

Zoro shrugged.

“What? I thought you said to be serious.”

The swordsman looked so shocked and so open at the same time. Their bodies entwined; his arms strong around Sanji’s waist. The cook never wanted to leave his arms again…

Zoro pulled back gently. “Che, it’s ok if you don’t feel the same way.”

His mouth twitched and his eyes went cold. Sanji knew that meant he was worried. HE was worried Sanji might not want HIM.

_Oh fuck._

They really were a perfect pair.

He pulled Zoro back towards him and bumped their foreheads together, looking deep into those dark eyes.

“I love you,” Sanji said, all his pent up worry melting away in an instant.

“Why?” Zoro’s eyes narrowed.

“I don’t know.” The cook shrugged.

“Luffy was right, you’re an idiot,” Zoro grinned.

“I know. So are you.”

Zoro leaned forward and let the sweet taste of the cook become his whole world. There was no rush. He just wanted to feel Sanji close, to hold him and breathe him in.

Finally, they parted.

When Sanji opened his eyes, the swordsman’s eyebrows were clumping together again.

“What?” the blonde asked. He just a *little* concerned that Zoro might have remembered his vow to be endlessly annoying and manly and was going to pretend that none of this ever happened.

The swordsman finally spoke, “What _do_ you like? I never had a boyfriend before; after chocolate I’m pretty much stumped.”

Sanji laughed and shook his head in disbelief.

_Hopeless._

The man was _absolutely hopeless._

“…and does that mean you’ll be doing my washing?”

Zoro’s grin widened as Sanji increased the pressure of his legs against the swordsman’s thighs to a painful pinch.

“You really can’t help yourself, can you Marimo?”

“I guess not, gorgeous.”

Sanji blushed.

This particular idiot would do him _just fine._

\------------------


	22. Dessert (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeeee! Hope you enjoyed the fic! Drop me a comment if you'd like me to post more ZoSan. I have quite a back catalogue XD
> 
> \---xxx---

**\- Nakama -**

Luffy chuckled and rubbed his hands together with glee.

_Finally!_

He had been surprised at how easy it was to talk Nami into going ashore, though. He thought it was the weather but she had been acting weird… er. Maybe she had her lady-thing-that-made-her-very-touchy-and-be-careful-you-idiot; Zoro had told him all about that one day after he had nearly died. Nami was so much fun! If he could survive that then he would be Pirate King EASY.

It had taken them long enough, although he knew they would get there eventually. Zoro and Sanji might be idiots but they weren’t _that_ stupid.

It was kind of distracting though. They were loud and shouty before. Now they kept going quiet. It drove him mad with curiosity and Zoro always hit him when he peeked. _So mean!_

Luffy put his feet up on the table. Sanji would be busy for a while so he could do whatever he liked! Robin chuckled from under her newspaper as he stretched across the galley and claimed the leftover roast from lunch. Sanji never left meat out before. This was getting better all the time!

“Oi! Get your legs off the table. And put that down!!!” A smoky haze made it clear that the cook would not, in fact, be busy for a while.

The Captain’s head snapped around and he fell off his chair in a pile of limbs, somehow managing to eat the last of the roast on the way to the floor.

“What, this?” he grinned up impishly from the carnage, holding a gleaming bone.

Usopp sighed and started to rake up his Tabasco powder. Now that Luffy had woken up, it was better out of the way. Such a deadly weapon would surely be enough to kill everyone in the room, if the Captain made too drastic a false move…

And the odds of that were, well… _pretty damn high._

“What is it, Sanji-kun?” Nami asked the hesitating cook. He was hovering in the doorway with a funny look on his face and he was turning pink.

_What was going on here, then?_

“Ah, my sweet Mellorine, I just… had to… well… that is… that we are… well, in a way… as if… umm….” He looked at his shoes, appearing to all the world to be considering stomping through the deck to hide in the cargo hold under an empty sack.

“Yes, what is it…?” Nami leaned forward and stretched her fingers out across the bench seat. A gentle hand clasped her own and Robin smiled and squeezed her fingers. _Was he about to…?_

“Sanji! Are you ok? You look like you are running a fever! I should examine you immediately!” Chopper squeaked. Sanji went one shade more red, if that was possible.

“No… I’m fine,” his hair was so far over his face that there wasn’t even one eye visible. The pink flush had deepened to a blazing crimson. “…there’s just something that I have to say…”

Nami saw Robin turn her head ever so slightly, inclining her chin towards the port-hole. Good question. _Where was Zoro?_ Was he outside listening? Was that what Robin was hinting at? It was a bit harsh of him to leave Sanji to do the dirty work. Or maybe the cook had his own plans... He had to be doing something, the idiot was almost purple.

Suddenly, Sanji dropped to his knees and seized Nami’s other hand with his warm palm.

“Please forgive me, my sweets! I can no longer flatter you with the lie that my heart belongs only to you! I have deceived you so terribly! But I cannot hide my heart’s true intentions! I know that your hearts have been broken and now I shatter them with my falsehood and my lies. I never wished to hurt you, sweet, delicate ladies. _Please, please forgive me!_ ”

His eyes were wide and he was close to tears as he clasped the redhead’s hand to his chest.

“It’s alright Sanji… I understand.” Nami said; her calm, clear gaze soothing the cook.

She held up her other hand, fingers interlaced with Robin’s. The elegant woman slid across the seat and wrapped one arm around the slender waist of the navigator. She smiled and kissed her on the cheek. The navigator repeated,

“ _I understand_.”

Sanji smiled, his Mellorine was so un… der… st… slowly his brain melted. Then it was reformed using parts entirely made from pervert.

Somewhere out of the haze a sweet voice floated out to him,

“So you and Zoro are really a …couple? …Sanji!?”

“Hai… Nami-swan… we are… M…m…me…llllll….” Sanji collapsed in a pile on the floor and began to haemorrhage blood, drool and hearts in equal portions.

“They… rea… ly… ar…” Nami’s eyes fluttered and Robin caught her as she pitched to the ground and began to exhibit all of the cook’s symptoms, except with berri symbols replacing the hearts.

Luffy roared with laughter and clapped his feet.

Usopp stared at the floor, at Robin, at the door and then at Luffy.

“Ah… clearly this has all been obvious to Captain Usopp for quite some time…” he mumbled, sounding unconvinced and hence utterly unconvincing.

“Sanji! Nami!!!” Chopper squeaked and then ran full pelt at his nakama and began to pinch their noses and try to calm them.

A dark shadow fell over the cook and the navigator, as they lay twitching on the floor. All eyes turned to the swordsman. He lounged in the doorway, taking in all the chaos in the galley.

He looked down at his prostrate lover and his kind-of-dear-if-slightly-psychotic navigator. He took in the Captain’s ecstatic grin, Chopper’s concern and Usopp’s slightly glazed puzzlement. Finally, he turned to Robin. _Wonderful, sensible, Robin._

“So, they both know then.”

He stepped over the bodies, nudged Nami with his foot and then grimaced and wiped the blood off his shoe onto the back of his other trouser leg. He rolled his eyes dramatically and stifled a grin. The idiot had finally given her a nosebleed and he was too busy having an ero-fit to even notice.

“Ah yes, swordsman-san. They know.” Robin replied; and she smiled. This time, she really damned smiled.

And damned if he didn’t smile back. _It was all the stupid cook’s fault._

“Did you hear that, Luffy? You paying attention?” Usopp asked, as the confusion slowly cleared.

“I heard!” Luffy laughed and rocked back on his chair again, hovering on the critical point of balance waving his arms comically for a moment before landing back safely.

“Well???” Usopp stared at the Captain, wide-eyed. Surely he had some kind of opinion on this. He didn’t know what but _something!_

“I don’t mind.” Luffy shrugged and went back to poking Nami and Sanji in turns with his toe and giggling.

The last dregs of haze cleared and Usopp’s champion brain was once again fighting fit.

“YOU KNEW!!!” He shouted, pointing accusingly at Luffy, who laughed even harder.

“Zoro and Sanji…” a tiny voice floated up from the floor. Chopper turned around slowly to reveal eyes burning bright with stars of hope and pure childlike joy,

“Think of the babies they’d have! SUGOI!!!”

Luffy fell off his chair again.

This time, he was down for the count.

\-----------------------

**\- Sanji -**

The cook kicked in the galley door. Normally he’d have more respect for the work of his long-suffering marksman but this was an emergency. A horrid acrid, burning smell assaulted his nostrils. Smoke spiralled up from the stove and every dish that he owned was covered in disgusting black muck.

And in the middle of it; there was Zoro.

In an apron. _A frilly pink apron._

Sanji’s only apron.

He looked ridiculous.

“Laugh and it’s the last thing you ever fucking do.”

The suddenly-black eyes flashed with danger and malice. The blonde could feel the adrenaline rushing, thick, through his veins as the killing aura enveloped him.

Heck, he’d die happy.

Sanji laughed his ass off.

\------------------------

**\- Zoro -**

“Don’t just fucking sit there! Do something!”

“Of course, sweetie. What should I do?” Zoro smiled up at the irate blonde. His hair was all messy and his face was red from shouting. He was _so damn cute_.

“Don’t sweetie me, asshole! I’m sick of you just… just…” Sanji’s eyebrow quivered with suppressed violence. Zoro looked up at him and smiled again. Sanji’s knuckles went just a little more white.

The swordsman had gotten so much better at this and it was a _treat._ Being rude was all very well and good but manners had their advantages it seemed…

“Just what?” Calm and level with just a hint of patronising. _Perfect._

Sanji had been trying to get him riled up for a fight for at least an hour now and had only succeeded in making himself absolutely livid. Zoro figured he’d leave him another ten minutes and then finally bite. He didn’t want his lover to die of a heart attack.

He was spectacularly good in bed, after all.

“Just being… so…” Sanji made a choking noise and lit yet another cigarette.

_Maybe another ten minutes would be too much._

Zoro stood up slowly and moved closer until he was only an inch away from Sanji’s pinched face. He let all his sadism show in a wicked smile. He loved to torture the blonde. It was _so much fun._

“So _what_ , asshole?” Zoro growled.

All of the rage left Sanji’s face. He grinned like an idiot and then kicked Zoro square in the side of the head, flexible as ever. The swordsman took the hit and just grinned a little wider.

“You do that just to piss me off?” Sanji asked.

“I’m just trying to be polite,” Zoro’s mouth said.

His eyes, however, said _‘so what if I do, sweetheart?’_

“You really make me wonder why I love you sometimes, baka.”

Zoro leaned in and brushed his lips against the soft, soft lips of his sexy, grumpy, cook. He loved him like he was the only thing in the whole damn Grand Line. He had thought they could have a decent spar first …but sometimes things didn’t go according to plan.

He let his gaze sweep up the long, deadly legs, the perfect toned abs, the gorgeous collarbones and the clear-as-hell-beautiful-blue eyes.

“You want me to remind you?” he growled.

\-----------------------


End file.
